Enzo has made incredible progress in English, and just when I wonder if English has replaced Spanish as his first language, Enzo surprises me by saying things like “Mama, en español por favor.” (Mama, in Spanish please.) He was referring to one of his favorite TV shows, Doc McStuffins, which I usually play for him in Spanish. I was, of course, thrilled. It was very different from a meltdown he had one morning when I switched the Doc McStuffins episode that his dad had started for him from English to Spanish… he started crying and started saying “English mama English.”

I was sad at that moment, thinking that he definitely preferred everything in English now. But thinking about these two moments, I now realize that it wasn’t that Enzo preferred English to Spanish, it was that since his father had started watching the show with him, he wanted to watch it in English, as he usually does with his dad. When I changed the language on him, it threw him for a loop, and that is what made him upset. (I also know this because sometimes I change from English to Spanish when a show has already started, and he doesn’t say a word about it.)

All this to say that I am reassured that Enzo still loves Spanish, and that English hasn’t completely taken over! Just when I feel reassured about one language, the holidays are coming up and soon Enzo will be immersed in French for a whole week before I join him. I am very excited about this experience for him, and at the same time I can’t help but feel a tiny bit nervous.

As Enzo’s vocabulary increases, it is interesting to see the new obstacles he faces; for example, with masculine and feminine words. Subjects aren’t so much an issue. When we teach him new words, we say “LA manzana” or “EL carro” or “UN zapato” or “UNA media.” I realize though, that he doesn’t yet understand that masculine words have masculine adjectives and same for feminine. This, of course, is a concept he will grasp as he gets older. But for now, it is funny to hear him repeat what I say, for example: “Enzo, Mama está cansada.” (Mommy is tired.) Enzo’s reply is “No, Enzo está cansada.” Of course, I explain to him that Mama is a girl, so she is cansada, and Enzo is a boy so he is cansado… but I’m not sure he has completely picked up on it yet.

As language learning continues, I realize that I will constantly be facing new challenges and that it is incredibly important to be consistent…and of course, repeat, repeat, repeat.

{Photo by dbrekke}

Our little multilingual family has some exciting news! We will be moving to South America (Ecuador) in 2014!

This definitely poses new challenges and exciting opportunities as a family who has multilingualism at the center of mostly everything we do (i.e., doctors visits, children’s books). We are already thinking about how our linguistic interactions will change as we establish ourselves in our new home aka the middle of the world.

For example, we have considered changing our use of Spanish for English with our children once we are in Ecuador, especially if we decide to put them in a Spanish school. We have also started to get really excited about the different dialects and languages our girls will be exposed to which include: Quechua, Spanish (& other Spanish varieties), English, & possibly a fourth as many of the private schools in Ecuador offer other European languages (i.e., French, German).

Another change we have already started implementing here is the purchasing of English books! In an earlier post I wrote about getting rid of all of our children’s books written in English that we had in our home in order to increase the status of Spanish in our daily life. I am now having a blast purchasing English (and bilingual) books to add to our collection.

On another note, I am also overthinking the challenges that lie ahead. For example, I, personally, have never lived in another country. In fact, I pride myself in learning Spanish in the U.S. and wonder how the new context will shape my children and I as multilinguals. In other words, I strongly identify as a Spanish speaking Chicana and hope I will be able to pass that on to my nenas. I look forward to sharing our journey over the next few months as we make this huge international move. Please feel free to offer any advice (such as books to read) about moving internationally with little children.

{Photo by ximenacab}

We all know that once we committed to raising bilingual kids, we embarked in a journey that is not always as black and white as it may seem. You may have chosen the best method of raising children in two or more languages that works for your family, or maybe you found an excellent dual immersion program that can provide much of the necessary input. In any case, there are a few things to keep in mind across the board that will help you remain consistent and motivated throughout the first essential years of raising a bilingual child.

Click here to go to my Babble Voices post where I share a simple, yet precise list of 7 do’s and don’ts to keep in mind for parents raising kids in two or more languages.

A few weeks into their third year of Spanish school, the day I knew would be coming sooner or later finally arrives. My son has figured out that going to school on Saturday is for the birds. Several Saturdays in a row, I listen to his litany of complaints. It’s like having six weekdays! I’m cutting into his weekend! The complaints wear me down — or rather, countering them wears me down. I trot out some of my usual selling points for Spanish. How wonderful it is to speak a second language. How not everyone does. How he can go to school in Costa Rica someday if he wants to. I appeal to his highly developed mathematical side — he gets 32.5 hours of schooling in English every week, but only 3 hours of Spanish.

The complaints subside and I drop the boys off at school without incident. I have no business complaining about the logistics of Spanish school — it is close to home, cheap, I get three hours to myself. But Spanish school often comes at the expense of other activities — swimming lessons, soccer leagues and birthday parties often seem to be scheduled Saturday mornings, so they’re not an option.

This morning, the whining gets me down and I am tired and grumbly. It doesn’t help my mood that on this particular Saturday, Spanish school conflicts with an event my other son — who has not complained once about Spanish school — desperately wants to attend, because his teachers have been talking about it in class. There is a story festival in our town where there will be a raffle, book readings, signings and the like, but it is a morning event that ends exactly one hour after Spanish school does. We rush to the festival, but by then the raffle is over and the authors are starting to pack up their books. I had noticed earlier, though, that the last activity of the day would be in Spanish, so we locate that room and step inside.

I forget about our struggles over Spanish school. From the flier, I had understood that the activity would be a reading of stories by children’s author Lulú Delacre. I had not understood that she would be there to lead the activity herself. As I sink into a chair in the back of the room, she leads the children in a round of Arroz con leche. Then she reads from “How Far Do You Love Me,” and my boys are mesmerized.  She has them guess what places the pictures in the book might represent, and my geography-loving children cannot stay quiet. They eagerly shout out the names of countries and continents, and I smile, shake my head, and briefly flash back to their full-time special education days, when talking was so difficult and their teachers used creative techniques like snacks and swings.

We are given a copy of the book and the author chats with us warmly as she signs it, and compliments the boys on their participation.  We talk briefly about raising bilingual kids. It blows my boys’ minds that their book was signed by the actual author. I can’t believe that in only half an hour, my lousy mood is gone and I’m feeling happy and inspired again. After the book reading, the children made bookmarks saying “how far” they loved a loved one. My boys wrote theirs in Spanish and presented them to me.

I know inspiration won’t always be there when I need it. But that day, incredibly it was. And on days it isn’t, well, I plan on laminating those bookmarks and keeping them where I can look at them.

Before having children, I fantasized how easy it would be to raise them speaking Spanish, English and even Mandarin. Although I am not a native speaker, I was confident that my Spanish skills, sheer determination, and obviously my Spanish-speaking husband would propel our household into bilingual bliss.

We began by speaking to our children in (mostly) Spanish, but with both my husband and I working full-time while taking grad classes, their exposure to Spanish was limited. When we adopted my first son from China, our intention was to also integrate some Mandarin: we drove to Chinatown for “Chinese as a Second Language” classes for several years, attending the classes as a family.

Now that my four kids are in elementary school, and English dominates their day (even in after school activities), we look for creative ways to have the kids practice speaking in Spanish, and get a bit of Mandarin as well.

• We travel abroad during the summers, and enroll the kids in day camps or hire tutors to teach them games and songs. Playing with their counselors and other campers their age has been a wonderful experience, and their learning and appreciation of Spanish has grown tremendously.
• Skyping with our relatives in Mexico, and letting the kids see and talk to their cousins, grandparents, and tíos has been a wonderful way for our kids to speak Spanish in a comfortable and loving environment, and their excitement is palpable. They love showing off new soccer skills or art projects!
• Bringing culture and language into our home, we have hosted 2 exchange students: one from Ethiopia (per my Ethiopian’s son’s request!) and currently one from Taiwan (next will be one from Latin America!). Our students have taught us phrases, nicknames, and cultural bits and shared holidays with us and we have really enjoyed the experiences. Even if you can’t host for an entire semester, check with your local university to see about hosting a student for the weekend or just an evening- the students love getting invited into your home for a cultural exchange!
• Specifically hiring babysitters that speak the target language is something we have only just started to do (and constantly ask “What took us so long!?”). We ask that when she is here with the kids, that she only speak Spanish: playing board games, watching movies, and reading bedtime stories all en español.
• Make some new friends: almost every weekend we get together with a group of families in our area who all speak Spanish with their kids. Although recently we’ve noticed the kids speaking some English with each other, it is a supportive group from all over Latin America and Spain and we share the same goal of raising bilingual kids. Meet like-minded families on meetup.com, at a bilingual storytime at the library, through a Spanish-speaking church service, or through the grapevine.

{Image courtesy of Becky}

Last week, I shared a link to an EFE story I was interviewed for regarding the current state of the Spanish language in the United States. One of the other people interviewed is a woman who runs a language school for children here in Denver and one of her quotes caught my attention. She said: “Bilingual people must possess a certain mastery of both their languages… speaking them is not enough. Writing, reading and comprehension are integral parts of learning a language.”

And the debate about what it means to be truly bilingual started all over again in my head. Is this woman right? Does one have to speak, read and write in their second language to be considered truly bilingual? As with other subjective questions, let me begin by establishing that there’s no right or wrong definition. I mean, there’s the definition given by the Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary: “using or able to use two languages especially with equal fluency.” But does “using” mean speaking, writing and reading? A lot of people consider themselves bilingual and they only know how to speak the language, but can’t write or read it properly.

For me, it has always come down to this: As a journalist, could I apply for a job that requires me to do research, interviews and then write a story in English and Spanish? In other words, can I write, read, understand and speak both languages well enough to succeed in the job described above? The answer is yes, not only because I believe I can do it, but because that’s basically what I’ve done since I became a journalist 20 years ago.

As a Latina writer who is very proud of her heritage, nothing would be more disappointing to me than raising children who are only able to speak my mother tongue, but can’t write it or read it. I can’t imagine my daughter — who is well on her way to becoming a bookworm like me— reading Mario Vargas Llosa in English (kudos to those who have, but I’d be lying if I said it is the same) or my son unable to write a Christmas card to his monolingual bisabuela in Spanish.

Because my kids are not lucky enough to go to a dual language immersion school, making sure they’re truly bilingual (based on my definition) is up to me. As I’ve mentioned in the past, Vanessa reads and writes in Spanish not because I sat down to teach her, but because she transferred those skills from English to Spanish. In other words, I got lucky. I don’t know if that’ll be the case with Santiago. Even if it is, I know they would still need formal instruction in Spanish so they can learn all the grammar and spelling rules — and exceptions — of my native language.

What I would like is for my kids to feel as comfortable in Spanish as they do in English regardless of the setting — just like me. My life is definitely richer because of it. Ojalá un día mis hijos puedan decir lo mismo…

Do you think your kids need to read & write in their second language to be truly bilingual? 

One of the most common struggles for parents raising bilingual kids is getting their children to speak Spanish. This is especially true once the rebellion stage hits and children refuse to use their minority language making their parents extremely frustrated.

Bilingualism experts agree that one of the most important tasks for parents raising a child with two languages is to create a perceived need for the minority language. In other words, your kid HAS to feel there are some circumstances in which she NEEDS her minority language to communicate.

How do you do this? Check out some tips:

1) Invite your Spanish-speaking family/friends to stay with you: As many of you know, we had some of my family visiting us last month from Peru and Mexico. This gave my children the opportunity to experience first-hand how important it is for them to speak Spanish to communicate with their aunts, uncles and cousins.

2) Show them you’re proud of speaking Spanish and of your Latino culture: If your children see you take pride in your language and your culture, they will follow suit. I saw this happen before my very own eyes with my stepson. His father, my husband, is extremely proud to be Puerto Rican. He has always spoken highly of his beloved Island, its music, its food, its folklore. He owns a vast collection of Puerto Rican music which he plays on a regular basis. My stepson, although born and raised in Miami, has always identified himself with his father’s home country. I hope my kids have a similar connection not only to Puerto Rico, but to Peru, my homeland.

3) Give your friends & your kids’ friends a taste of your heritage: Not only will you show your kids how proud you are of your culture (tip #2), but it could also be a lot of fun. Hispanic Heritage Month, which is almost upon us, is a great time to do this. If you happen to be from one of the countries celebrating their Independence Day during this time, you can throw a party. Serve traditional food from your country of origin and teach the children a few words in Spanish. Again, if your children see that you’re proud of your heritage, they will be too!

4) Expose your children to Spanish and their Latino culture first-hand: Traveling to a country where the Spanish is spoken is probably one of the best ways to create a perceived need. Although it’s sad that both my husband’s and my family is dispersed in different Latin American countries, it does gives us the opportunity to go visit them, allowing our children to be immersed in the language while spending time with their family, as we did this summer. Our plan is that as soon as Vanessa and Santiago are old enough, they will spend their summers with their cousins in Puerto Rico. We did this with my now 22-year-old stepson as he was growing up, and I’m convinced this is one of the major reasons he is bilingual today.

{photo by  kate.gardiner}

In preparation for our addition to the family, my husband and I have switched to speaking Spanish to each other nearly all the time. We even text in Spanish. This is a pretty big break from our pattern of communicating in English with each other and Spanish only with the other native speakers in our life.

I have always known that it’s difficult for me to use Spanish when I’m upset, angry, or otherwise emotionally out of sorts. However, I didn’t anticipate how hard it would be to have intimate daily conversation with my husband in my non-native language. No matter how well I can get across the details of the matter at hand, it’s the feeling that is sometimes missing.

When we have an argument, I hear myself repeating the same vocabulary over and over, but in a different tone of voice. I don’t feel that I have the breadth of word choice to really explain myself. When I’m trying to be funny or sarcastic, the result is not as funny to me as it would be in English. Worst of all, when I’m trying to comfort my hubby after a long day, I’m never 100% sure that I said the right thing.

What’s amazing to me is that no matter how long I’ve been speaking Spanish (over a decade now), I continue to find limits that I did not expect. I assume that everyone who learns a language after early childhood runs into a similar dilemma, but I still wonder what it feels like to be bilingual or multilingual from birth and feel a native level of comfort with more than one mode of communication.

In a way, this is what excites me about raising bilingual kids… but it also makes me feel disconnected from them, because I’ll never be able to use Spanish with the children in the same way I can use English with them.

Does your emotional connection to each of the languages you speak affect your ability to use it in varying circumstances?

{Image by Claire Burge}

From the moment the test read “pregnant,” it didn’t take long before I was sitting on a plane reading about the OPOL method and other strategies for giving one’s child the gift of two languages.

Friends asked me about birth plans and attachment parenting, but I researched precious little of the topics concerning my other mama friends. I was fascinated by language development and raising a bicultural baby.

The only problem? I don’t speak Spanish. I was relying on my Guatemalan husband to make my bilingual baby dreams come true.

Maybe it’s because I know what it’s like to be monolingual in a multicultural world, but I highly valued passing on both Spanish and English to our daughter. With her nearing 2 and 1/2 and our second bicultural baby on the way, I realize I have learned a lot these past couple of years about what not to do as the monolingual parent in a bilingual home:

Badger the Bilingual

“Speak Spanish!” was my mantra to my hubby that first year… right after “Why are you crying?” which was directed to my new baby.

It’s lonely talking to a baby when they don’t understand or engage. Part of our sanity through the infant days was speaking on her behalf.

I realize now that my husband wanted me to understand what he was saying to her… when he was blessing her, sweet-talking her or mocking her. (Yeah, we’re all-star parents!) We were learning to be a parenting team, and my nagging him to dis-include me held no appeal.

Take Over  

This is a different manifestation of #1. But when I wanted to “subtly” remind my husband to speak to her in Spanish, I would get the ball rolling myself. This strategy was is ill-advised since I’m not fluent.

I had to provide my husband space to take ownership of our child’s Spanish language learning. As she has begun talking more, he enjoys hearing her repeat the Spanish words he teaches. Also, since she’s decidedly favoring English, he has a renewed sense of personal passion to teach her Spanish to communicate easily with family and connect to her culture.

Complain About Being Left Out

One of my worries from the very beginning of our bilingual journey was feeling like a stranger in my own home. I envisioned my husband and our teenagers sitting around the dinner table, joking in Spanish and laughing, while I pushed peas around my plate.

The other day my daughter spoke her first uncoaxed mixed-language sentence, and that fear resurfaced. For as passionate as I am about her becoming bilingual, I want so desperately to be involved.

So I’m working on my own Spanish. Hearing it more at home definitely helps, but I still know her fluency will quickly surpass mine.

Raising a bilingual, bicultural family is a joy I encourage anyone to undertake. Hope these tips help you make the best of your journey!

{Photo by basykes}

Sarah Quezada lives in Atlanta with her Guatemalan husband Billy and their daughter Gabriella. She blogs about cross-cultural marriage and family life, immigration, and multicultural identity at A Life with Subtitles. You can connect with her on Twitter (@SarahQuezada).

One of the greatest perks of being a blogger is all of the connections and new people you meet that you wouldn’t have otherwise. Since starting here at SpanglishBaby my network of other like-minded bilingual parents has grown and we have all been able to connect on different levels yet at the core is desire to raise our children speaking a second language.

A few months ago I received an email from a fellow Latina mamá who had been reading my posts on SpanglishBaby and just so happened to live 10 minutes away! So I wanted to introduce you to Nikki Scully, half-American, half-Costa Rican mom and SpanglishBaby reader or SpanglishMami as I named her. Here we talked about her background, what she wants for her kids and the fondest memories of her bilingual upbringing!

MJO: Tell readers about your background and what makes you a Spanglish Mami?

NS: I am the proud daughter of a Costa Rican mother and a father from Ohio. My father took his love of Spanish language and Latin culture and joined the Peace Corps in 1970. His adventures took him to Costa Rica, where he fell in love with a young tica. And the rest is history.

MJO: Why is it important for you kids to be bilingual?

NS: Mainly, I realize  what a gift my parents gave me. Although I didn’t appreciate it as a child, I truly feel like knowing Spanish opened a world for me, setting me apart in ability to communicate with so many more people and appreciate another culture and its values, music, food and more. Being bilingual and bicultural is a source of great pride, which I’d love to pass along to my children.

MJO: Do you have any concerns about bilingualism?

NS: My biggest concern is: “What will this look like in a few years?” My kids are very young (2 years old and one month!), so I am just at the beginning. Their learning Spanish now is easy in that they spend their days with me, but in the back of my mind I fear that all my efforts will be shot once they go to preschool. I feel like I always seek out parents with children that are a bit older to see what their journey has looked like up to that point (and what our future might look like). Often, it’s reassuring to see that speaking Spanish to their children has really worked!

Also, although my Spanish is good it’s still my second language, so often I could explain/describe something to my son much better in English. I worry that this causes me to talk much less to him overall than I would if we spoke English. I have to make a conscious effort to talk, talk, talk, and many times look up how to say something! It’s really a learning experience for me, too.

MJO: How have others (family, strangers, etc). reacted to your decision to raise them bilingual?

NS: I am still learning to be comfortable speaking to my children in public in Spanish. However, when other parents hear me speaking Spanish to my son, the reaction is almost always positive. Parents usually say that it’s really cool and that they wished they could do the same with their kids.

MJO: My husband is learning Spanish and we have some great “lost in translation” moments. Tell us about your funniest bilingual moment.

NS: My husband is very supportive of my efforts, and he speaks some Spanish and English to the kids. His Spanish skills are getting better as we go, but he can get … creative. Sometimes he thinks he remembers a word, but he’s just off a little bit. For example, he said “conchillo” once when he meant “conejo.” Or “hornatuga” when he tried to say “zanahoria.” I think it’s hilarious that his made-up Spanish words sound like they could be legit.

MJO: What is your favorite bilingual books, toys, movies, etc.?

As someone who loves to sing, I find my most powerful tool to encourage bilingualism is music! I try to expose Jack to all kinds of music in Spanish, whether geared toward kids or not. It takes a little more searching to find good children’s music in Spanish — and I love artists I found on SpanglishBaby, particularly Sara from Music with Sara and Nathalia’s From Here to There CD. I sing the songs over and over, particularly in the car!

MJO:  Tell us about your favorite “Spanish speaking” childhood memory?

NS: I am blessed that my siblings and I grew up taking trips to Costa Rica to visit our grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. Many of these trips were at Christmas time, when my fondest memories are of evening nochebuena Mass followed by a big meal and waiting for el niño to stop by with gifts! There was always so much excitement surrounding that evening, and it was a treat to stay up late.

Beyond that, my warmest memories include music. I come from a family of guitar players and singers, and to this day family get-togethers always mean lots of hearty singing and dancing! Never a dull moment.

A little more about Nikki: I have a bachelor’s in Spanish and secondary education, and a master’s in Spanish. I taught high school Spanish for nine years before deciding to make the home my classroom! I have aspirations of ramping up my blog — I’m working on it! Connect with Nikki at Fantastic Imaging.

Are you a SpanglishMami? Get in touch and tell me your story!

¡Besos!

{Photo courtesy of María José Ovalle}