Recently, Roxana asked “Is it Wrong for Bilingual Children in the US to Learn Spanish before English?” Among the comments on SpanglishBaby’s Facebook page, one comment particularly struck me… a fellow SpanglishBaby contributor Suzanne Mateus, said “the controversy is particularly sensitive when the children come from working class homes.”  Suzanne makes a great point. People’s reaction to a parent speaking to her child in Spanish (or any other minority language) might vary depending on their perceptions of who you are.

When you’re a Hispanic mom talking to your child in Spanish, many people assume you are doing so because you don’t speak English. When I speak to Enzo in Spanish, and then conduct transactions in perfect English, people don’t know what “box” to put me in. Where is she from? Is she American? Is she an immigrant? Is she rich? Is she poor? Why is she speaking to her son in Spanish?

If people think you’re a recently arrived immigrant, the thought seems to be “Why can’t you learn English?” or “You’re ruining your child’s life because now the kid won’t learn proper English.”

Once you’re seen as a professional, attitudes change. You start hearing things like “Oh he’s bilingual? What a wonderful gift you’re giving him.” Or “How amazing that he can understand and speak in all those languages. That’s going to help him when he’s in school.”  Or “He will have many wonderful opportunities.” It seems society says it’s great to want your children to be bilingual if you are rich, but it’s a hindrance if you are poor or an immigrant.

This point is illustrated in this quote by American linguist J.A. Fishman, which  my friend Annabelle from PiriPiri Lexicon shares on her blog about raising multilingual children:

“Many Americans have long been of the opinion that bilingualism is ‘a good thing’ if it was acquired via travel (preferably to Paris) or via formal education (preferably at Harvard) but that it is a ‘bad thing’ if it was acquired from one’s immigrant parents or grandparents.”

In toddler classes I have attended, many monolingual parents hire Spanish (or other language) speaking nannies so that their children can be exposed to another language. I have actually encountered children who have become fluent in Spanish by having a Spanish-speaking childcare provider. These parents are usually lauded for their efforts (and dollars!) to expose their children to other languages.

Today, children’s language classes are booming (and they can be quite expensive!) Are we saying it is OK for wealthy parents to spend money to have their children become bilingual, but it’s not OK for parents with lesser means to speak their language to their children?

Parents from any socio-economic status who decide to raise bilingual children are giving their children a great gift, a gift that money alone can not buy; because no number of hours at a language school can equal the richness of speaking and learning a language 24/7, with all its intricacies and the culture that is attached to it. Parents who have embarked on this journey should feel happy about the advantages and opportunities they are giving their children.

I hope that our country recognizes the benefits of bilingualism, and immigrants (both newly arrived and second or third generation) parents do not get discouraged by remarks or ” looks” thrown their way.

The truth is being bilingual gives individuals a competitive advantage. It really doesn’t matter to me if someone gives me a look or just wonders why I’m speaking to my child in Spanish, or if they assume I don’t speak English. Criticizing is easy. Raising a multilingual child requires dedication, commitment and hard work.

{Photo by Clearwater Public Library System Photos}

It’s official! My 3-year-old son’s vocabulary in English has multiplied exponentially the last couple of months, and he’s starting to have a preference for his new language. I’ve been observing him closely lately and I am pretty amazed by the fact that whenever he plays by himself, English is his language of choice. Nothing wrong with that, except that it’s all totally new for me because his sister didn’t really do that.

I’m pretty sure it has to do with the fact that Santiago has been exposed to a lot more English much earlier than Vanessa, who didn’t go to school full time until she entered kindergarten. And now I can see how much easier it could be for him to go through the rebellion stage and start refusing to speak Spanish — something his sister has not done… yet.

My boy spends most of his day immersed in English, even now that school’s out because I enrolled him at our local rec center’s summer camp. Every day he surprises me with new phrases and tons of play vocabulary he has obviously learned while having fun with his little friends.

Read more: Watching in Awe As My Son Becomes Bilingual

I am so impressed by my son and his amazing language abilities, and though I should be at least a little bit concerned about the influence all this English will have on his Spanish, I am not. But that’s only because his English immersion experience is about to drastically change.

We’re embarking in a summer adventure I’ve been wanting to make a reality for a couple of years now: immersion travel. We’re going to Puerto Rico in a couple of weeks where we plan to stay for a month with my husband’s family. My children have 10 primos hermanos over there, with at least six of them in their same age group.

I’m super excited that they’ll be attending summer camp with some of their cousins, but mostly that they’ll be spending a ton of time immersed in Spanish and our Latino culture. Both of them are incredibly happy about this adventure and are counting the days until we get on the plane. Vanessa has been to Puerto Rico twice in her short life, but she doesn’t really remember. Santiago has never been, so everything will be completely new to him — especially because most of my husband’s family has never met him.

I’m hoping to make this a summer tradition so that when my kids get a little older, we can send them over there for the whole summer, like we did with my stepson, who is now 22 and fully bilingual thank, in a big way, to the summers he spent immersed in Spanish with his cousins in Puerto Rico.

Editor’s note: We continue our week-long series about immersion travel. The following post was written by Amy Conroy — creator of habla, blah, blah — who spent six months in San Miguel de Allende with her three children and wrote all about their experiences for SpanglishBaby back in 2011-2012. She was also one of our guests on our SpanglishBaby LIVE Google+ Hangout on immersion travel.

That is really my biggest worry – what if we never have another trip like that?!? What if that was the best we ever have? What if that was The Biggest Adventure of our Lives? I cannot explain how rewarding and glorious our last six months in Mexico were. Our time there changed our lives and our perspectives forever. There’s no going back (to who we were) and on my darkest days, I am prone to fits of melancholy at the thought of no future immersion travel/living.

But with our experience does come perspective, and there are things I would do differently and things I would do more.

Basics: food, water, shelter

Food is easy — you eat local, which luckily for us was pretty delectable. Water is a whole other issue, but one that I love. The scarcity of potable water in the world is an unfathomed concept to most Americans, but the global reality of its dearth reminds me of how lucky I am and has started a dialogue for us to explore further.

But then you have shelter. Here is where I would do it differently: stay in a place where you feel good and comfortable. During our last long immersion, I tried to save $$ in our accommodations. While that might have suited us fine for a shorter term, six months was too long for us to live ‘normally’ in sub par conditions. My advice would be to spend what is needed so that you and your family enjoy where you rest. You will need a place to recharge when you are immersed in a new language and culture — it’s tiring! Honor that need, and you will have more energy to channel into your immersion experience.

Luxuries: transportation, communication, and emergencies

These are not the essential items for living, but they are key to calmer living while immersed in a new place. First of all, always know where the hospital is for an emergency. Stitches at 10 p.m. was inevitable for at least one of my three children, but peace of mind rather than petrified panic in knowing where to go was helpful. Which is why I argue that, at a certain point, I highly recommend having access to private transportation like a car. Sure, there may be buses and taxis available, but will that suit you in an emergency? It’s easy to bum rides from friends when you are one or two persons, but squeezing an extra five into someone’s car ride to the country quickly becomes cramped.

My last bit of practical advice is to secure an easy way to communicate with home. It’s simple these days (via cell phones or Vonage) and well worth the cost so that you don’t feel estranged from loved ones at home.

Academic life: go immersive, go local, and try to steer clear of other travelers

If you want your child to learn another language, there is no better motivation for them than peer interaction. If they don’t have the option of communicating in their native tongue, they will quickly figure out how to join a game of tag in whatever language is spoken. Though we had spent a great deal of time vacationing in Mexico prior to living there for six months, they learned ten times more Spanish attending a private Mexican school than they ever did during leisure time. I was one proud mama when my eldest read a poem aloud to the parents of the school community, and a friend commented on his lack of accent! I’m not saying it was easy – it was painful to watch them struggle. We knew nobody and were the only Americans in a small, tight-knit local school. It was like Ground Hog Day for the first day of Kindergarten (when your child doesn’t want to go) for six months!! Hard times.

But, worth it.  They are (near) fluent and, eventually, made friends. “Nothing worth gaining was ever gained without effort,” so said Theodore Roosevelt.

Social life: volunteer or work

Immersion for adults is hard, too. It’s easy to connect with others with similar backgrounds, e.g. other Americans, so that is one pathway. However my most rewarding relationships grew from working together on a project when I volunteered with a non-profit. It was an incredible way to meet locals who shared a similar interest – I found “my peops”!

Overall, I’d do it all again, but the next time I’d do it with my husband. Our circumstances didn’t permit him a leave of absence from his job, so it was the four of us (me + 3 kids) most of the time. We rationalized that a temporary six months apart was manageable, since we plan to live the rest of our lives together. But truthfully, that was the hardest aspect of our adventure – not living together as a family unit. We survived it, but I’d be lying to omit that his absence was a major distraction to us all. I don’t want to leave without him again for that long, but two? Three? Four months? Count me in!  I can’t say no… there’s too much at stake.

{Photos courtesy of Amy Conroy}

Things started out well. The day that the moving truck officially brought all of our furniture into the house, our next-door neighbors brought us freshly baked chocolate chip cookies. Initially, everyone was so friendly, and there were days when the kids played together. Unfortunately, as time went on, I noticed that the new neighbors were not quite as sociable as they once had been. Initially, I just assumed that it was because everyone was busy, but then I started to think that perhaps there was a bit more to the change in their demeanor.

My husband and I are very consistent, perhaps even a bit obsessive compulsive in our following of the OPOL strategy. I have never spoken to my sons in English and neither has my husband. Even when others who do not speak Spanish are around, I still continue to use the minority language with my kids. One day I noticed that when my sons and I would use Spanish, the facial expressions and body language of my neighbors changed. It dawned on me that perhaps they weren’t so friendly with our family anymore because of the different languages. Language was alienating us from our new friends.

Our previous neighbors and good friends were from Indonesia. We never had any issues with different languages being used when we were together. I would continue use Spanish, my husband would use German, and they would speak to each other in Indonesian while English would be our common language. No one ever seemed uncomfortable with not understanding the different conversations all of the time. We rather enjoyed learning new phrases in each other’s languages, but more importantly, we were supportive of the effort involved in raising bilingual children.

The more I think about the situation in our new neighborhood, I am starting to wonder if people who only speak English are uncomfortable around other languages. Perhaps already being bilingual makes us less fearful or suspicious of ones that we do not know. I know that for me, this is the case. When I hear a new language, I want to learn new words and phrases. It also makes me especially happy to hear other parents speaking to their children in another language, since I know that they are giving their child the gift of bilingualism.

I realize with my new neighbors it is actually going to take a bit of effort and understanding on my part in order to develop a relationship. At Christmas, we took our neighbors chocolate and had a nice time visiting with them while the children played.  I was also pleasantly surprised to learn that the father in the one family is now even taking Spanish classes because his job requires him to go to Peru on a regular basis. His new need to learn Spanish emphasized for me the importance of raising bilingual children even in the face of many challenges. At the same time my neighbor has gained a deeper understanding of why my husband and I are so consistent in our efforts. Perhaps a friendship will develop after all.

{Photo by Mike Babiarz}

The magic words “make them learn English” from The Economist — Immigration reform was huge this week and with that came talk of whether undocumented immigrants on their path to American citizenship should be required to learn English. As long as they’re not prohibited from speaking their native language, the author says, and I couldn’t agree more. “The solution to this apparent conundrum is very simple: bilingualism. It’s a healthy thing that Americans have historically been too suspicious of.”

The U.S. needs to embrace its Latino personality from The Globe and Mail — A great read about the history of Spanish and Latinos in the U.S. from the author’s of the forthcoming book The Story of Spanish, which I can’t wait to read.

Valley Elementary’s dual language program thrives from Pomerado News —  I love reading about successful DL programs and this one in California is no exception. Already in it’s 11th year, the program’s original students are now in high school taking advantage of the gift of being bilingual.

Hoping to hold on to younger generations, Hispanic churches include more English from The Washington Post — “Unlike their immigrant parents who strive to learn English, some younger English-speaking and bilingual Hispanics are so immersed in the American culture that they are choosing to join mainstream English-language churches.” More proof of how native languages are lost by the third generation. I’m pretty sure this will be the case for my bilingual kids: they’ll speak Spanish, but will prefer English.

Spanish is Second Most Used Language in Twitter from Fox News Latino — Amazing news considering that “60 percent of Latin Americans are still not on the Web.” Do you use Spanish in Twitter? I do!

Mexican Teachers Adapt to their American Raised Students from PRI’s The World — A look at what’s happening on the other side of the border. As some Mexicans are going back home with their American-raised children who aren’t fluent in Spanish, Mexican teachers are struggling to communicate with them while the kids are having a hard time fitting in. Sound familiar?

Bilingual and Happy from Psychology Today — A collection of articles related to bilingualism, including many by one of the biggest supporters of speaking more than one language, Prof. François Grosjean. I’d already read many of the articles included, but some I discovered for the first time.

CNN Moves Beyond Cable with CNN Latino fromThe Hollywood Reporter — Another network looking to tap into the bilingual/bicultural Latino market.  I love that host Elizabeth Espinosa — whose mother is from El Salvador and father from Mexico — says the job interested her because it will give her the opportunity to “be someone who can operate in both languages, both worlds.”

Also, last week I started writing a bilingual weekly column on MamasLatinas.com — where I work as a staff writer — all about raising bilingual kids. I love being able to take our message that bilingual truly is better to even more people — especially because I’m also writing my columns in Spanish. Check out my first two columns here: Bilingual Bebés on Board.

When Aidan (my now 4.5 year old) was 3 years old, he decided that he was going to refuse to do anything “Chinese”. He used to lower his head and shove his hands deep into his pockets when asked to speak Chinese. He one day declared that he didn’t want to speak Chinese anymore. My son decided Chinese wasn’t cool, or hip, or relevant to anything he was interested in. Everything fun was in English, his Chinese friends all spoke English with him, and I understood English too.

Over the years, I had searched for Chinese language resources for kids under 6, but couldn’t find anything that engaged long enough to benefit. I kept thinking there was a lost opportunity here, since the best time to learn/maintain languages is before the kids are 6. Since I’m conversationally fluent in Mandarin, I thought speaking to him at home would be enough, so I didn’t spend too much time worrying about the lack of language tools. But once I realized outside influences were competing for his attention, I knew I needed additional tools to re-spark Aidan’s interest in his mother-tongue. Forcing Chinese down his throat wasn’t an option for me, because I’ve seen how that type of influence leads to rebellion later on… parents speak to their children in the mother-tongue and the kids respond in English.

I’ve been in the videogame industry for over a decade, and after several moms approached me about the idea of leveraging the ever-so-popular tablet to become a language-learning tool, I jumped on board. This tablet-based tool is called Peach Ice Cream Adventures (PICA), and it will be a language-immersion adventure game specifically designed for 3-6 year olds, with Spanish, Chinese and French being the first three languages we are developing. What started off as a joint effort between three moms wanting a fun way to keep a mother tongue in the family has blossomed into a realization that there is a need for this tool extended beyond our own children and our own immediate needs: A Boston City Councillor of an inner city district wants PICA for his preschools/K1/K2.

If we raise enough money to make PICA, an awesome company called Isabella Products will be donating tablets pre-loaded with PICA to the schools so we can run a pilot next summer!!! And if that works, I have plans to roll out in other inner city schools as well. Kids from inner cities are usually have limited or have no access to the latest tools, but we want them to be part of the first.

We are using a fundraising platform called Kickstarter, which is a funding platform for creative projects. For a lack of better terminology, it is a pre-ordering platform that lets interested prospective customers pre-purchase (via pledges) to support the development and launch of the product. One catch is that Kickstarter is an “all-or-nothing” deal…you need to raise a minimum of the dollar amount or PICA can’t be made. We have 12 days to get enough pledges to get PICA into the hands of our kids and those in inner cities. Pre-order some cool Spanish (or Chinese or French) tools today to help us reach our goal. Folks pledging/pre-ordering as a gift for a special child in their life can let me know, and I’ll email a beautiful holiday card that states a purchase was made on the child’s behalf.

Click to pledge and pre-order by Dec. 17

Vicky spent the past 12 years in the videogame industry, and became passionate about making STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Math) education more appealing and accessible to youth. Inspired by her older son (now 4.5), Vicky launched an early education enrichment program that uses STEM principles as a vehicle for Chinese language immersion. The success of the enrichment program has led her to start digitizing her curriculum by creating tablet-based language-learning games, specifically aimed at 3-6 year olds.

Last week, I posted a question to our Facebook page asking parents who use the mL@H method to raise their children bilingual to share some of the difficulties they’ve encountered with it. I wanted to write a post around those answers based on some of my own difficulties with the method. But then, one of the parents asked what mL@H stands for and I figured I needed to step back a bit.

Inadvertently, I assumed everyone who’s raising bilingual children knows what acronyms like mL@H, OPOL (one parent/one language) and T&P (time and place) stand for. Maybe it’s because we throw them around here all the time or because I’m so used to them ever since we started this journey nearly four years ago. But the truth is that it’s always good to go back to the basics.

If you’re new here, you might find this information useful. If you’re not, then maybe you can share your experiences using the particular method you use to raise your kids bilingual.

Minority Language at Home (mL@H)

It’s no secret that when I embarked in the journey of raising bilingual kids, I had no idea that the “method” I planned to use had a name. Making sure my children spoke both Spanish and English was not something I decided to do once I became a mom. No. For my husband and I, there was no other option but to raise our kids bilingual because we need to ensure they grow up speaking Spanish. Since Spanish is our first language, it seemed completely logical to us that we’d be speaking Spanish at home and we’d let them learn English in school.

In essence, that’s the definition of the mL@H method. Parents speak the minority language — the one that the community at large doesn’t speak — at home while their kids learn the majority language (in our case English) elsewhere, usually in school. The interesting thing about this method is that although it says that we use the minority language at home, the reality is that we actually use it everywhere whenever we are with our kids. In other words, it’s really has nothing to do with the place where you use the minority language.

Another amusing observation, at least in my case, is that because my kids spent the first three years of their lives strictly at home — as opposed to at a daycare setting — Spanish was actually their majority language until they were introduced to English in preschool.

Read: 3 Methods to Raise Bilingual Children

Either way, the mL@H method has worked extremely well for my family… so far. At 6 years old, Vanessa is bilingual and is doing great in her non-bilingual school. She has no problems going from one language to the other, but it seems to me like she has a preference for Spanish. At 3 years old, Santiago is just starting his bilingual journey and I see him following his sister’s progress.

It’s important to point out that neither you nor your partner have to be native speakers of the minority language you’ll be using to raise your children bilingual. In other words, as long as you are both fluent in the minority language – which in this country is anything other than English – this method will work for you.

Now that I’ve explained what the mL@H method is, soon I’ll be sharing some of the disadvantages or difficulties I’ve encountered with it. Can you share some of yours?

Living in downtown Orlando gave me some opportunities to speak Spanish, but it turns out that they were miniscule compared to the practice I’m going to get in my new neighborhood. A month ago, my family moved to the south side of town, closer to where I grew up. I feel comfortable living over here, everything we do is more convenient to our house, and we found a great Montessori school for Isaiah. I didn’t expect to be surprised by much, least of all the presence of such a large Spanish-speaking (mostly Puerto Rican) population. After all, they jokingly call this part of Orlando “little Puerto Rico.”

It has managed to surprise me, however. I officially feel like the minority, and my gringa status has brought plenty of questions to the surface already. 

First, there are the countless service personnel who have shown up of late: the pest control guy, the cable guy, the refrigerator delivery guys, the lawn maintenance guys. All Spanish speakers, all assuming I speak Spanish when they read my last name but then immediately struggling to use English when they see a white woman answer the door. When I indicate that I do, in fact, speak Spanish, they respond in one of two ways: 1) use a few words of SLOW Spanish and wait to gauge my level of understanding or 2) take a full-on nosedive into a Spanish-only conversation and appear relieved to be able to use their native language.

The reason this has me questioning my mode of interaction is that sometimes I want to feel comfortable and not be the one doing the “work” of speaking a second language. If I reveal that I speak Spanish, then it seems a given that I MUST thereafter respond only in Spanish and sometimes struggle with vocabulary I don’t regularly use (anyone know how to say “weed eater” in Spanish??). If I don’t reveal that fact, I feel like I’m being disingenuous and rude for making the person fight to speak English.

Another situation in which I’ve found myself feeling surprisingly uncomfortable is when I’m in public and not really trying to eavesdrop, but I am. Por ejemplo, in line at the grocery store, when the cashier is speaking to the customer in front of me in Spanish. The other day, I got somewhat patronizing smiles as two women had a long (too long for the checkout line!) Spanish conversation about Hispanics and the election. The second I stepped up to check out, the cashier switched and said “Hello, how are you today?” I felt awkward having understood every word of her previous conversation, but she had no idea. There’s clearly no need for me to say that I speak Spanish in that moment, but I always feel a fleeting conflict. Especially if said conversation seems to be what’s making the difference between my picking my son up on time and showing up just late enough to be last in the car line.

Perhaps what I am truly dealing with is the ever-present tendency we have to judge each other’s ethnicity and change our communication styles accordingly. While this can be a great skill, there are times when it can backfire. I hope that the shock of finding out that I speak their language has made some of my neighbors think twice about assuming that gringos do not understand them or, more importantly, do not want to meet them halfway.

Is it too much for me to ask, though, for them to meet ME in the middle? Somehow, talking about drain lines and water bugs in Spanish feels harder than writing a college paper for Spanish grammar class!

What do you think? Should I feel obligated to speak Spanish just because I can?

{Image via digitizedchaos}

We could continue citing more research and studies on the benefits of bilingualism, but the truth is that, to many of us, scientific fact is just the icing on the cake. It helps to justify the struggles we might face, or to arm ourselves when we need to defend our decision to raise our children with two languages to those who don’t really get it. However, for most of us already embarked on the bilingual journey, the initial spark came not from the brain, but from the heart.

The heart of a parent who so desperately needs to feel constantly connected to her child. The heart of a parent who always wants what is best for her child. The heart of a parent who wants to see himself reflected in his child.

For many bilingual households, language is the bridge to the essence of who we are and to the heart of our heritage. In my case, there is no better way for our girl to understand and love where we come from than by experiencing it for herself through our food, customs, family and the language which binds us to all of that: español.

We are now part of a growing segment of the population which has decided to go against the monolingual norm—and even social oppression—to give our children the gift of a second (or more) language, a connection to our heritage and an open door to explore diverse cultures.
The main reasons why we choose to raise bilingual children are usually more personal than not, but all those studies help back up our efforts. If we were just looking to improve our children’s cognitive development, we could easily teach them a musical instrument or sign them up to play on a sports team, but the reasons behind our choice to raise bilinguals usually go beyond simple rationale into the personal and emotional realms.