We all know that once we committed to raising bilingual kids, we embarked in a journey that is not always as black and white as it may seem. You may have chosen the best method of raising children in two or more languages that works for your family, or maybe you found an excellent dual immersion program that can provide much of the necessary input. In any case, there are a few things to keep in mind across the board that will help you remain consistent and motivated throughout the first essential years of raising a bilingual child.

Click here to go to my Babble Voices post where I share a simple, yet precise list of 7 do’s and don’ts to keep in mind for parents raising kids in two or more languages.

Imagine we could survey every bilingual adult in the world and ask them two questions.

Question #1: Do you regret becoming bilingual?

What do you think the response would be?

Of course, it wouldn’t be unusual for people to mention how hard it was, at times, during childhood: keeping up with two languages, perhaps with twice the homework; suffering episodes of embarrassment when speaking the minority language in public; and enduring other difficulties. A few of the respondents, it’s true, might even answer, “Yes, I regret it. It was just too much trouble.”

But my guess is that the percentage of people responding “No, I don’t regret becoming bilingual” would be very, very high. Despite those struggles of childhood, I bet it would be well over 99%.

Question #2: If you hadn’t become bilingual, is it something you would have regretted?

If we then turned the question around and asked people to imagine how they would feel if they hadn’t become bilingual, what sort of response would you expect? Though there might be a handful who express no regret, wouldn’t most people feel just the opposite? Wouldn’t most people, over 99% once again, express real regret at not becoming bilingual?

Here’s my point: Your gurgling baby, or your growing child, may not be aware of this yet, but they want to be bilingual! And they will regret it if they don’t become bilingual! That’s the truth, and you have to keep that fact in mind throughout your bilingual journey together.

It’s particularly important to remember this during those tougher times, like when your child seems to rebel and refuses to speak the minority language with you. When these difficulties arise, it’s natural to feel discouraged, but you can’t let yourself get trapped in that moment. You have to think bigger than the resistance at hand.

Tell yourself: “Yes, my child, I know it’s hard sometimes. But I also know that deep down, in the adult that lies within you, you really do want to be bilingual and you would regret it one day if you weren’t. So I will continue to support the development of your minority language with all the patience and persistence and perseverance that this tired old parent can manage.”

And you go on. And you do the best you can, day after day, while you have the chance. Because, finally, you know you’re not the only one who wants your child to be bilingual.

Your child wants to be bilingual, too.

Adam Beck is the blogger of Bilingual Monkeys, the home of “ideas and inspiration for raising bilingual kids (without going bananas).” Based in Hiroshima, Japan, he is a former teacher at Hiroshima International School and now a writer for the Hiroshima Peace Media Center. Adam is the father of two children who are bilingual in English and Japanese. You can also find Adam on Twitter and Facebook.

In preparation for our addition to the family, my husband and I have switched to speaking Spanish to each other nearly all the time. We even text in Spanish. This is a pretty big break from our pattern of communicating in English with each other and Spanish only with the other native speakers in our life.

I have always known that it’s difficult for me to use Spanish when I’m upset, angry, or otherwise emotionally out of sorts. However, I didn’t anticipate how hard it would be to have intimate daily conversation with my husband in my non-native language. No matter how well I can get across the details of the matter at hand, it’s the feeling that is sometimes missing.

When we have an argument, I hear myself repeating the same vocabulary over and over, but in a different tone of voice. I don’t feel that I have the breadth of word choice to really explain myself. When I’m trying to be funny or sarcastic, the result is not as funny to me as it would be in English. Worst of all, when I’m trying to comfort my hubby after a long day, I’m never 100% sure that I said the right thing.

What’s amazing to me is that no matter how long I’ve been speaking Spanish (over a decade now), I continue to find limits that I did not expect. I assume that everyone who learns a language after early childhood runs into a similar dilemma, but I still wonder what it feels like to be bilingual or multilingual from birth and feel a native level of comfort with more than one mode of communication.

In a way, this is what excites me about raising bilingual kids… but it also makes me feel disconnected from them, because I’ll never be able to use Spanish with the children in the same way I can use English with them.

Does your emotional connection to each of the languages you speak affect your ability to use it in varying circumstances?

{Image by Claire Burge}

Editor’s note: We’re spending this week celebrating dads raising bilingual kids with guest posts written by them in honor of Father’s Day. We love having the dad’s perspective and hope this series encourages other papis to share their stories with us.

I first fell in love with Argentine asado several years ago on a magical New Year’s Eve in Mar del Plata, Argentina. It was my first trip to South America and I was meeting my wife’s large, extended family for the first time. We had caravanned together from Buenos Aires and decided to have a traditional Argentine barbecue at the family’s beach house before heading out on the town to celebrate the new year. What transpired was an unforgettable moment of falling in love with a new culture—its food, its wine, its cooking traditions, and its whole-hearted embrace of familia.

An Argentine asado is a lengthy barbecue, more akin to a fiesta, where family and friends gather for hours on end to eat, drink, talk, laugh, and generally live life at a languid pace unrecognizable by our fast-tempoed, modern society. I was so enchanted by the asado experience that I became an asador and promised to share my passion with the rest of the world.  So, I started Gaucho Garcia, an English-language resource dedicated to South American grilling.

When our daughter, Luna, was born last August, my wife and I knew two things: one, we were dedicated to raising her bilingual and teaching her about her family’s Spanish-speaking roots (I am of Spanish descent and she is Argentine). And two, we committed to educating her about everything related to Argentine cuisine. What better way to raise a bilingual child than to speak Spanish while teaching her the culinary traditions of her family?

In addition, since we were both fluent, we felt that raising Luna bilingual was one of the best gifts we could give her in this life. With so many primos in Buenos Aires and Madrid that we hoped to visit in the years to come, instilling Spanish at an early age seemed imperative so that she could communicate with her family during our travels. In fact, she will embark on her first international adventure to Buenos Aires this September for her cousin’s wedding.

For now, Luna is still just babbling and has only one tooth—not nearly enough to make it through the large portions of bife de lomo that I normally serve at my asados. In no time, however, she will be assisting her Papi with the preparation of la parrilla and helping her Mami in the kitchen with the family’s recipe for empanadas argentinas. And when she comes running to me one day, grinning from ear to ear, and says, “Papi, mira lo que hice en la cocina con Mamita!”, I will know that the commitment we made the day she was born has paid off… and we just might have that fateful New Year’s asado to thank for it all.

Gabriel García is an attorney and an asador living in the Silicon Valley hamlet of Morgan Hill, California. In 2007, he fell in love with South American barbecue after partaking in his first asado with his wife’s family in Argentina. Since then, he began blogging about asados and Argentine cuisine on his website Gaucho Garcia. He is father to a 9-month old baby girl, Luna, who he hopes will one day carry on the recipe for his world-famous chimichurri.

My son Isaiah LOVES books, much like Roxana’s daughter. However, he is a bit younger (just turned 5) and is still learning the fundamentals of reading in English. Since starting at a Montessori preschool last fall, he has made leaps and bounds in his reading abilities and has a good handle on the basics. In addition to his English homework and the reading exposure he gets at school, I read to him in Spanish and English every day. I’m a little stumped, though, about helping him cross the barrier into a full-blown Spanish reader as he has done in English.

We have a bit of a reversed situation from many of you, or at least those of you who use the mL@H method. As I’ve previously explained, my son gets most of his Spanish exposure at his father’s house, and has therefore decided that, at least conversationally, English is his language of choice at my house. So we speak mostly English except with extended family, listen to almost exclusively Spanish music and radio, and read in both languages. I don’t have quite the advantage that some may have in terms of using Spanish vocabulary on a daily basis with Isaiah and then finding it in our books. If he’s not getting the Spanish reading reinforcement at school, how can I indicate to him that reading in Spanish is just as important/interesting and is not going to be a chore?

Other than the encouragement factor, my big roadblocks are the logistics. Montessori schools don’t use phonics as some of us may have learned them. They use a multi-sensory approach, and that’s how Isaiah has grown to understand how letters make sounds, sounds make words, and so on. I can’t exactly replicate his Montessori practice in Spanish at home, so will teaching him the traditional phonics-only way serve to confuse him? I’m unsure of whether I should wait until he has completely mastered English reading before I confuse his sounds with another alphabet.

I have experimented a bit with simple Spanish board books to see if he adjusts his vowel sounds, etc. when he knows the book is not in English. I’ve found that he first tries with the English sounds, though (such as “eh” for E instead of “ay”). That’s when I start to wonder if I’m doing more harm than good…i.e. replacing the sounds he needs to know for school with the Spanish phonetics or just risking making reading a frustrating endeavor.

I’d love to have some feedback about your experiences with preschoolers or kindergarteners and learning reading in two languages. Although I know it can happen simultaneously, would there be a benefit in waiting until Isaiah is at a higher level of English reading before I have him dive into reading to me in Spanish?

{Photo by alex ragone}

Why raise a bilingual child? Parents on language, culture and roots from Multi American on KPCC — A must-watch if you’re raising bilingual children or thinking about it. I’m sure you’ll see yourself reflected in the reasons these parents give for raising bilingual kids.

False Friends and Other Unwanted Companions from Psychology Today — Have you ever said “librería” when you really wanted to say “biblioteca?” Prof. Grosjean explores why interferences like that happen to bilinguals. My favorite part of the article is this one because I can totally relate: “… when bilinguals are fluent in both languages, interferences are often two way, with each language being able to influence the other from time to time. This leads some bilinguals to think that maybe they don’t speak either language well when, in fact, these are very small bumps on a what is usually a smooth road.”

Learning English can help immigrants survive from The Denver Post — I don’t think the headline reflects it well, but the author of the column, Abraham Morales, is really trying to convey the importance of being bilingual. I agree with him that all immigrants would benefit immensely from learning English, but it shouldn’t be at the expense of forgetting their Spanish.

Los Pollitos – A Story and Coloring Book from Spanish Playground — Our friends from Spanish Playground and Music with Sara have joined forces to bring you this super cute classic story that your bilingual kids will love!

Today, I’m writing about something that most of us don’t talk about: MONEY. Personal finances. Status.

Just typing the words makes me cringe because they are such taboo topics in this first world, competitive country. None of us likes to admit that we might be down on our luck, or that we can’t afford to keep up with the Joneses (or los López, as the case may be). This constant pressure is something we can get over when we’re talking about cars or jewelry, but when it comes to our children, we all want to have the means to give them every opportunity. What if lack of funds is a major barrier to raising a bilingual family?

I wouldn’t say this is the case with my family, since we are lucky that our children have exposure to lots of Spanish-speaking family members. However, it is a factor in our inability to send our children to camps, buy them quality bilingual books, and especially take trips to Latin America. By the time we pay for five flights, our vacation budget would be gone…that is, if we had a vacation budget.

To be honest, since my husband and I met and started raising our kids together, we have been dealing with the financial burdens of child support, debt from our respective divorces, and the everyday challenges that come with keeping up a house and cars. Even when we try to make cultural exposure or recreational activities a priority, it seems like we are the couple from the movie Up, constantly breaking open our savings jar because of some expensive emergency.

I’m sure lots of couples feel that way in this ongoing recession, but I never realized how much more depressing this (or, in many cases, true poverty) can be when you’re trying to show your kids that a second language is important. We don’t all have public dual immersion programs available, and we certainly can’t all afford tutoring or good bilingual movies and games. Sure, there are great children’s TV programs in Spanish, but what if (like us) you can’t even justify paying for cable? There are also lots of free apps out there, some of which we review at SpanglishBaby, but what if you don’t have a smartphone or an iPad? It can seem like there’s an expensive roadblock at every turn.

Aside from visiting the public library and reaching out to Spanish-speaking friends or family for in-home language support, what would you advise those who can’t set aside money to establish a bilingual life do to feel better about their children’s Spanish language exposure?

Regardless of the particulars of our financial circumstances, I think we could all use some creative ideas for stepping beyond the world of stuff and remembering that the true beauty of the second-language gift has little to do with purchasing ability. Share your tips in the comments so we can help each other to feel less inadequate and more inspired.

{Photo by slowdownfast.com}

Mami, hoy es January?

That’s my 5-year-old asking from the back seat.

I’m thrilled — finally the kids are getting the hang of time — the difference between seconds, minutes, days and months. But his question is also a harsh reminder.

He is learning most of these new concepts in school.

In school, they teach purely in English.

And now the corollary — my husband and I, their only Spanish teachers, will never be able to keep up.

We had recently given ourselves some real pats on the back. Congrats to us! Our twins are 5 and are still speaking Spanish! We “made it.” And yet, the more time goes by, the more I realize the quest to raise bilingual kids never, ever (ever, ever, you get the point) ends.

They grow, they learn — and they need to do both in two languages. Somehow, somewhere, between trying to raise well-mannered, confident, curious beings, between instilling a work ethic, love of books and a sense of spirituality and empathy — we’re talking basics here people, not Tiger Mom stuff — we still have to find time to ensure that their Spanish progresses.

I didn’t actually expect to reach this point now. About a month ago, I had decided that since the kids’ language skills were on solid footing, I’d dedicate 2013 to go a step further to teach them more about their Hispanic heritage. Over Christmas, I wrote up a whole plan, a timeline, links to all the books and projects we were going to tackle so that they could learn more  about la madre patria, and Latin America and the Caribbean in general.  But then came enero, and the questions from the back seat.

I am tired.

Last year, I wrote a post on six things I wish I’d known before I started raising bilingual kids.

I’ll add another: I wish I’d known this process was life long.

I wouldn’t have changed course, but I would have adjusted my expectations.

{Photo by popofatticus}

Tomorrow, my son turns 5. It seems like a new milestone, like he’s moving into the big kid phase. He’s tying his shoes and learning to ride a bike without training wheels. Kindergarten is right around the corner, and I’m sure time will continue to whizz by as he discovers elementary school life.

Isaiah’s 5^th birthday isn’t just a turning point for him, though. It’s a day for me to pause and reflect on everything I’ve done as a parent in the past five years. He’s my first and (so far) only biological child. He has been my reason to remain bilingual all this time, or at least in a fully functioning manner.

Our bilingual experience hasn’t been without its difficulties. Isaiah has gone through the natural phases of rejecting Spanish or getting frustrated with it, and so have I. He has the added stress of living in two homes, both bilingual but in different ways. Keeping to one method of immersing him in Spanish has not been possible, so we’ve all had to be flexible.

Although it pains me to say it, we speak mostly English in our home now — which was partially Isaiah’s choice. This is a big shift from when Isaiah was born up until he was about 3, when his father and I spoke only Spanish to him. Now, he’s around his older English-dominant stepsisters and speaks English at school. However, I have found that although he doesn’t practice Spanish as much as he probably needs to, this English invasion hasn’t been damaging to his desire to know and use Spanish.

Nearly half of his 27-student preschool class speaks Spanish at home (the advantage of living where we do), all three of his teachers are Latina, and he spends about 40% of his time with his papi and abuelos, who speak exclusively Spanish to him. Every time he hears Spanish in public or reads a bilingual book, he makes a comment about how he understands all of the words, not just half of them. There are certain things he only wants to watch in Spanish, like the movie Robots. He gets excited when he hears other languages, like Arabic and Chinese, and frequently wants me to teach him words in Italian, my rusty third language.

The greatest thing about this age is that Isaiah’s now completely aware of the distinction between languages and can have conversations about it. I no longer feel that I am conducting an experiment by trying to expose him to Spanish without him noticing. He’s consciously participating in the search for elements of his second culture.

As we approach the possibility of sending him to a dual language immersion program next school year, we are trying to boost the amount of positive moments we have in Spanish and about Spanish. I am loving that we can be playful and relaxed about it, since I believe everyone learns better when they aren’t really thinking about it.

I am proud to be raising a bilingual child, but most of all to be living in a comfortably bilingual family. Having the choice to switch from one language to another is what it’s all about at the end of the day, and everyone in my household is exercising that choice differently. Here’s to the new year, and the last five!

Parents and bilingual teachers have a problem. At the beginning of a relationship, kids establish the language they want to use to communicate with an adult. Once established, it is not easy to convince the children to speak another language with them. Given this situation, what can parents and teachers who want to use two languages with the children do? One solution is to introduce the children to a puppet that only speaks the target language. 

Many adults remember a puppet that they got to “know” in elementary school, and they remember the lessons that puppet taught them. In fact there are many academic studies that show the advantages of teaching with puppets. According to Allison Lepley of Fairfax County Public Schools (2001), children who learn through puppets have better oral comprehension, are able to more easily internalize language patterns and develop confidence and skills that help them work well in cooperative learning groups. All of these skills help to facilitate language learning.

The introduction of a “friend” creates a fun environment and helps to establish a new routine more easily. Children tend to be quite comfortable talk to puppets, and since the new puppet only speaks the target language, the adult doesn’t have to face the battle of convincing the kids to change the established relationship language. Simply put, everyone needs to speak the puppet’s native language so the new friend can understand everything.

Using a puppet is something that both teachers and parents can implement. At home a puppet can visit the children during playtime and play with the toys, games or puzzles. The children can also sing, dance or read with the puppet that can even teach them new vocabulary! As we always stress, developing literacy skills in the second language is important and the puppet can always “ask” the parents to read books in the puppet’s native language. A fun idea is to make or buy a puppet that is a character from one of the children’s favorite books. At school, the puppet can co-teach, directing lessons and activities in the native language.

Since playing with puppets and speaking with different voices in order to develop the puppet’s personality isn’t something natural for many adults, the blog Fun for Spanish Teachers has some great tips to facilitate the process:

• The puppet should look at the children even when it is talking to the adult.
• When two puppets are conversing, they should look at the children, not each other.
• When the puppet is talking, the adult should look at it.
• Don’t forget to move the mouth according to the syllables of the words, and don’t open its mouth too far.

With a little practice in front of a mirror and by implementing music, poems, games and reading, everyone can be successful teaching language with puppets. And don’t forget that adults aren’t the only ones who should use the puppets. One never knows how much a child with talk given the chance to converse with a puppet or make two puppets talk to each other!

Have fun!

*Lepley, A. (2001). How Puppetry Helps the Oral Language Development of Language Minority Kindergartners. Fairfax County Public Schools.

Amy Hornby Uribe s a translator and Spanish language grammar and linguistics advisor for Heritage Language. She has her PhD in foreign language education from the University of Texas-Austin. During her career she has taught at the middle school, high school and university levels. Now, she is Assistant Professor of Spanish at Winona State University. Amy has two small children who she is raising in a bilingual environment.