Disclosure: This post is sponsored by Huggies. As always, all opinions are my own.

Nothing can really prepare you for that magical day when your baby arrives home for the very first time and all of a sudden you’ve truly become a family. You’ve spent months dreaming about this day and making sure every single detail is in order. The nesting stage seems to have put you in overdrive when it comes to making sure that everything your baby will need to feel welcomed, safe and loved is all set.

While there are many essentials our bebesitos need as soon as they are born, the reality is that all they truly desire is to be nurtured and cared by you and papá. To be able to fully be there and present for your little one at all times during those critical first weeks of birth, mamá needs to take care of herself and make sure that once you arrive home you have what you need to be comfortable and rested so you can focus on bonding with your child.

Aside from making sure the nursery is fully equipped to welcome baby, make sure you also prepare your home to meet your immediate needs in this new stage of life. Prepare yourself for a few weeks of new emotions, feelings, sensations and a different pace in your life from what you’ve been used to.

Taking some time beforehand to have a few things around the house taken care of prior to baby’s arrival and checking out other details on Huggies Latino’s Respuestas para Mamá, will make the transition smoother for you. Here are six ideas you might not have considered yet, but that can be very useful:

1. Batch cook a few meals to keep in the freezer and heat up to serve a meal at anytime. It’s essential you’re feeding yourself well, especially if you’re nursing your baby.

2. Have plenty of water at hand. Invest in a filter or make sure to have a refillable water bottle to just keep at your side at all times. Hydration is key as you recover from labor and get back into a sleeping routine.

3. Get a notebook and pen, or a good app on your smartphone, to keep a diary of your baby’s feedings, bowel movements and sleep. This is all essential information that your pediatrician will ask you during your visits and the more detailed information you have, the more useful it is.

4. Keep a digital camera or smartphone close to you at all times because these precious first moments only happen once.

5. In advance of baby’s arrival, find an online site that delivers the baby essentials you will need to replenish on a constant basis, such as Huggies Little Snugglers Diapers, Huggies Natural Care Wipes and formula, if needed. Create an account so that you can quickly access it to have your basics shipped to you immediately. Most don’t charge shipping costs and arrive quickly to your doorstep.

6. Create a playlist of your favorite nursery rhymes and soothing white noise to help baby calm down and ease into sleep.

These first days and weeks are the most intense, yet the most memorable and important for your baby’s development. You will definitely be focused on him, but don’t forget to take care of yourself so you can truly enjoy these moments.

Photo credit: Gabi Menashe on Flickr

We all make mistakes, right? Especially along this journey of parenthood, we know that we constantly just don’t know and we try our best every single day. There really isn’t a single parenting manual that is a one-size-fits-all or that’s customized to your particular child and/or parenting journey.

But we do have each other. We have other parents that are open enough to share the good and the bad, the pretty and the ugly, and do it without giving or receiving judgement. We have our stories to tell so others can be inspired or realize that it’s not part of their own journey.

That’s precisely what we’ve done on SpanglishBaby for almost five years: share stories from many diverse voices on how we’re together creating a collective experience of the how-to and how-not-to raise bilingual and bicultural kids. We all know that we must expose our children to Spanish, or the target language, as young as possible. We know that we can’t force them to learn a language, but we can immerse them in ways that it will become part of their self. We know that we want to take this path for so many reasons, but most that have to do with the heart. Yet, the day-to-day is still full of surprises y curvas inesperadas.

I made one big mistake when raising my now 6-year-old girl as a bilingual child and I’ve been wanting to share this with you ever since I realized it. See, I’ve been obsessed with making sure we never, ever, ever spoke English to her and her exposure to English would be elsewhere and plentiful. I knew English would take over and I even called the stage a bilingual “rebellion,” implying my sort of battle at making sure her Spanish flourished beautifully. And that war is pretty much won.

So which battle did I lose? Where was I not strategic enough?

In her pronunciation in English.

In my obsession to make sure she spoke Spanish perfectly and since I had conditioned myself to never speak English to her, I would never correct her when she would mess up the pronunciation or tense of a word in English. I would just ignore it and repeat it en español. Turns out to not have been a very wise choice and I have no problem admitting it because I might not be the only one that made this decision.

Now that she’s in a dual immersion program and her Spanish skills are flourishing, I’m starting to notice more and more that while she’s completely bilingual (yet still in a really Spanglish/code-switching stage), she has so many more words in English that are used in the wrong tense or mispronounced because there hasn’t been a habit to correct her.

I’m not freaking out about this (yet) because I know she’s still developing her language skills overall and she’s really only in first grade, but I wonder if it would have made a difference if I would have not ignored her English completely.

Would love to know if this has happened to you, or if you also currently “ignore” your child’s mistakes in English or your country’s majority language? Please do share and let’s talk about this in the comments below.

“Es igualita al papá,” most will say when they meet my daughter and realize that her mischievous expressions, accompanied by a cynical laughter, are almost a complete replica of her dad’s. Much to her papi’s delight, Camila loves to tell and be told a good joke and is already on her way to being a very creative prankster.

I, on the other hand, wasn’t born, nor did I ever cultivate, an outwardly funny bone or jokester attitude. I can’t remember a good joke on cue to save my life, and have even had to download kid’s jokes apps just to have a healthy repertoire at hand to impress my girl.

Not only am I not the best at telling jokes, but I’ve found that I also need to learn to stop my frenetic pace and just laugh with my daughter a whole lot more. Lately, my push to be a successful mompreneur has got me on a whirlwind of emotions and a completely unbalanced life that makes me be much more reactive when my daughter is not doing what I ask her or what she’s expected to do. In those moments, her natural laughter and wacky cool attitude turn into the loudest of screams with a stubborn demeanor that sets off my impatience.

Many times, instead of responding calmly and just picking my battles, I try to control or just stop her emotions. It feels like the busier I get with trying to “do it all” and “be it all,” the more impatient and exasperated I become by the little things my beautiful and spirited child does.

I know for sure I’m not alone in feeling this way. No matter if we are stay-at-home, work-at-home, or working moms, we all need a constant reminder that with love and patience we can accomplish a lot more with our children. We know that it’s important to set discipline, but that in order for them to want to comply they need to feel loved and secured.

I would be fooling myself if I said that I could one day become the “perfect” mom because that just doesn’t exist. Just like I can’t hold up Camila to a fragmented standard of perfection, I can’t set myself up for failure either. What I can do, is give myself a reminder that no matter how difficult certain parenting moments can get, in the end every single moment between my daughter and I is an act of love.

If I keep going back to the love and both our needs to be loved, I can stop and laugh more with my daughter. I can eventually turn around those bursts of unwanted behavior into just another cry for love.

That picture of Camila holding up an “I Love You” sign, so easily created with a Hallmark Pics n Props, is just that reminder. I keep it in a special place in our home so I can turn to it when we both need the reassurance of love. All you need is love, right?

Disclosure: We’re working with Hallmark on a series of posts for Mother’s Day for which we’re being compensated. As usual, all stories and opinions are our own.

Tomorrow, my son turns 5. It seems like a new milestone, like he’s moving into the big kid phase. He’s tying his shoes and learning to ride a bike without training wheels. Kindergarten is right around the corner, and I’m sure time will continue to whizz by as he discovers elementary school life.

Isaiah’s 5^th birthday isn’t just a turning point for him, though. It’s a day for me to pause and reflect on everything I’ve done as a parent in the past five years. He’s my first and (so far) only biological child. He has been my reason to remain bilingual all this time, or at least in a fully functioning manner.

Our bilingual experience hasn’t been without its difficulties. Isaiah has gone through the natural phases of rejecting Spanish or getting frustrated with it, and so have I. He has the added stress of living in two homes, both bilingual but in different ways. Keeping to one method of immersing him in Spanish has not been possible, so we’ve all had to be flexible.

Although it pains me to say it, we speak mostly English in our home now — which was partially Isaiah’s choice. This is a big shift from when Isaiah was born up until he was about 3, when his father and I spoke only Spanish to him. Now, he’s around his older English-dominant stepsisters and speaks English at school. However, I have found that although he doesn’t practice Spanish as much as he probably needs to, this English invasion hasn’t been damaging to his desire to know and use Spanish.

Nearly half of his 27-student preschool class speaks Spanish at home (the advantage of living where we do), all three of his teachers are Latina, and he spends about 40% of his time with his papi and abuelos, who speak exclusively Spanish to him. Every time he hears Spanish in public or reads a bilingual book, he makes a comment about how he understands all of the words, not just half of them. There are certain things he only wants to watch in Spanish, like the movie Robots. He gets excited when he hears other languages, like Arabic and Chinese, and frequently wants me to teach him words in Italian, my rusty third language.

The greatest thing about this age is that Isaiah’s now completely aware of the distinction between languages and can have conversations about it. I no longer feel that I am conducting an experiment by trying to expose him to Spanish without him noticing. He’s consciously participating in the search for elements of his second culture.

As we approach the possibility of sending him to a dual language immersion program next school year, we are trying to boost the amount of positive moments we have in Spanish and about Spanish. I am loving that we can be playful and relaxed about it, since I believe everyone learns better when they aren’t really thinking about it.

I am proud to be raising a bilingual child, but most of all to be living in a comfortably bilingual family. Having the choice to switch from one language to another is what it’s all about at the end of the day, and everyone in my household is exercising that choice differently. Here’s to the new year, and the last five!

I have news to share: My husband and I have finally decided that we’re ready to become foster parents with the goal to adopt.

It’s been beautiful and practical to be a family of three, but for months now I’ve been feeling the longing and even the readiness to welcome a new being into our familia. However, we’re still grounded in reality and know our limitations as far as the economic and time pressures we have. I just turned 40 this year, and I know many women successfully deliver well into their fourth decade, but I just don’t feel like gambling with this. Plus, I just don’t at all feel the urge to be pregnant again and go through the infancy stage.

Also, we realistically want a girl that will be close enough to our daughter’s age that they can bond. My girl is beyond excited about the prospect and tells me every single day that she’s ready to share her toys, books, clothes, etc.

After research into the different options to adopt both internationally and domestically, we’ve decided that what works best for us is to foster-adopt. There are so many kids in need right in our own cities and we feel this is the right thing to do. Yes, we realize that the process can be difficult, especially if we form a bond with a child that’s later taken away from us, but it seems like the pros far outweigh the cons right now. That, or we’re just so ready to do it that we’re turning a blind eye to the list of things that could go wrong!

The truth is that I still question if I’m ready to adopt a child, and I wrote about my feelings over at my Babble blog and asked for advice on how to know when you’re ready  to adopt a child.

From my Babble post:

What we know right now is that:

• My daughter understands the concept of adoption, loves the idea, and all she’s asking for is to make sure she’s the big sister.
• Our financial and home situation can handle one more person.
• Adopting from foster care is right for us in so many ways. We want an older child (around 3- or 4-years-of-age), hopefully from Latino descent that we can share our heritage with.
• Our hearts are ready to take another person in. Everything else will fall into place.

Read the rest of my post “How Do You Know When You’re Ready to Adopt.”

Have you adopted or thinking about it? Please share your tips, advice or words of wisdom in the comments below so we all benefit from them.

{Photo by stevendepolo on flickr}

Being a mom to one girl might seem from the outside to be “easier” when it comes to dealing with the messes and stresses of parenting. There’ s only one mouth to feed, one body to clean and clothe, one bilingual mind to nurture. Yet, that also means that this one little person depends solely on her parents for everything from playing to venting.

As a mom to an only child, the biggest stressor is that I become that one person my girl needs complete attention from all the time. Yes, dad is there too, but she usually has a case of “mamitis.” We need to be in the same room all the time, not easy when you’re trying to cook or go to the bathroom. I am the one who receives the most lovely of hugs and beautiful words, but also the one who gets the full extent of her wrath because she has noone else she’s close to to take it out on.

And that’s when our life becomes a bit messy. When mom needs a tiny bit of a break, but the girl just needs mom to applaud, cheer, hold, listen, play, dance, sing, feed at.the.same.time! Ha! I am not complaining one single bit, but it is what it is and it is when I feel the most exhausted. Why? Because, as moms do, I just deal with it.

How I’ve decided to deal with it — because giving her an hermanito(a) isn’t a viable option right now — is like this:

1. Keep her entertained with activities she loves. She loves her weekly ballet and swim classes. Now that she’s turning 5, we’re starting her on gymnastics and more dance. We’ll also explore some art and music and see what she gravitates to.

2. Be more proactive in organizing bilingual playdates for her. She loves being with kids and that’s what we’re missing at home. The more we have kids over or meet at organized events, the smoother things go at home.

3. Encourage her independence more. She’s a highly motivated and independent girl, but when she’s home she has a hard time playing alone. I have to be conscious of dedicating her the time she needs to feel just how loved she is, but I also firmly believe that learning to play or just be alone is an important life skill. This is a tricky one because I don’t want her to feel like I don’t want to be with her, but encourage her to find activities at home she feels happy doing and choosing on her own.

My family’s story  is just one example of how parenting is full of messy moments and how we, as parents, tackle them in our own creative ways.

We’ve partnered with Huggies Latino to share this story so you can be encouraged to share your own story on the Huggies Latino Facebook Page.  Put their new Huggies Natual Care Wipes and Snug and Dry Diapers to the test and tell them about your experience for a chance to win a fully-stocked Huggies diaper bag! And while you’re visiting the Huggies Latino Facebook Page you can also check out smile-inducing webisodes and additional videos — all in Spanish — that feature parenting moments  from TV star Poncho De And a and his wife Lina Amashta with their adorable kids.

Disclosure: This is a sponsored post  from Huggies Latino and Latina Bloggers Connect

There are stages in parenthood that are easier than others. We all want to grasp and hang on to those days when our children are cooperative, responsive and full of joy.

Then there are those days when they test our parenting skills – or lack of – and they take us to limits we honestly dread. We have to be honest and upfront that this happens even to the best and most zen of us. There’s a reason for it.

I truly believe that the tests our children put us through exist to show us about ourselves. I’m not being egotistical in the sense that it’s all about “me” and denying that there’s a root to the problem our children are experiencing in that moment. But once someone taught me that to change a child’s behavior, I needed to first see what had to change inside of me. We’re all a reflection of each other; or like the ancient Mayans used to say as a greeting to each other (and many still do): In Lak’ech – meaning “I am another yourself.”

I’m in reflection mode right now because my daughter is in a “phase” that’s feeling a bit temporary and it’s beating me up. I looked inside and what I found I shared here: I’ll Admit It: I Need Parenting Help.

Would love to know if you have these days, weeks, months when none of the parenting advice and/or skills seem to have any relevance. Please do share.

Recently, there has been a lot of buzz in the media, and especially the blogosphere, that has reignited the so-called “Mommy Wars.” If you’re not familiar with the term, it refers to the battle between moms over nearly every little parenting decision, in particular the decision to work or stay home. The controversial TIME Magazine cover on breastfeeding, the new book on modern motherhood by Elizabeth Badinter, and other debates of recent years have me contemplating how this all applies to our decision to raise bilingual children.

Given that my husband and I have decided that I will stay home with my son and stepdaughters for the coming school year, I am even more preoccupied with these “wars” than most. After working 6+ days a week since last August and keeping late hours due to the demands of self-employment, I am thrilled that I will now have the time to interact with the kids without interruption or preoccupation.

The thing I’m most excited about, though, is being able to reinforce Spanish once again. To be honest, I have felt like a complete failure on that front since tutoring took over my life. My stepdaughters are learning Spanish in their elementary magnet program, and my son is always with his Spanish-speaking babysitter or grandparents, but it hasn’t been enough for me to feel like bilingualism is still a priority in our family. I miss being here to watch the evolution of language from the mouth of a little one.

Maybe this feeling of guilt and needing to be personally involved stems from the fact that those mamá debates often extend to the realm of what we are teaching our kids. From getting on the perfect preschool’s waiting list to bragging about how many languages/words each child knows, some parents make the Spanish fluency goal a tough one to feel good about. I would venture to say that most of us are not interested in teaching our children Spanish so that we can flaunt it before the monolingual world, but we will still be made out to be that way by those who don’t have the resources to do so for their children.

Many public voices have called for an end to the Mommy Wars, and I see SpanglishBaby’s community as an example of how support — even of the virtual variety — can take the fear out of standing firmly in our parenting choices. We should each make an effort to spread a curiosity about and understanding of the bilingual life to other parents. Most importantly, we have to respect the choices of some parents NOT to raise their children in more than one language.

Let’s take a moment to remember that a good ofensa and defensa do not constitute good parenting.

¿Qué piensas tú? How do we sometimes wage “war” on each other re: bilingualism?

{Image via Neeta Lind}

Photo by Katrina Nicole

I was not a good mamá this morning. I lost my patience big time and entered into the biggest battle of wills with a tiny person with a really strong head (guess where she gets that from?!)

This week I finally started committing to a resolution I´ve had to wake up at 5:30 am to have some ME time. The day goes by so quickly with mom-duties, house-duties and business-duties that I never get around to the me-duties.  After considering the available time-slots in my day, I realized 5:30 am was the only time that I could actually, uninterrupted, devote some time to a morning yoga and breathing routine. (Remember how amazing I felt after the Zumba class I took? I have not been able to make it back, no matter how much I plan for it.)

A friend was helping me by sending friendly reminders over the weekend to remind me of my goal for Monday morning. It worked. The last two days I woke up with a sense of excitement, headed to the family room and took a 45 min yoga class online with YogaGlo.  By the time my girl woke up an hour later, I had already created a happy-space in my soul that allowed me to be present with her. It was also nice to not wake up to the sound of a shrill “Mamiiiiiiii, ¡ya desperté!”

But last night I decided that I really, really wanted to watch the new Telemundo telenovela, La Reina del Sur.  After 20 years of leading a telenovela-free life, I’ve succumbed to the thrill and intrigue of this novela based on a best-selling book by Arturo Pérez-Navarte. Heck, even my husband read the book–it´s that good.  So, I stayed up till 11:30 watching the gorgeous Kate del Castillo delve into the narco-world. Yep…I did not wake up this morning at 5:30 am.

Of course, the morning I haven´t created a happy-space in my soul my daughter wakes up earlier than usual with a horrible cough and a no-collaboration mood.  I spent the next 35 minutes persuading her to take the medicine that would alleviate the cold and she could head to daycare.  Note, she had no fever or was sick otherwise, so she´s allowed to go. We both got very, very necias and by that point it was a battle of the wills. A bad, bad idea with a preschooler.

I lost it. I became la gritona.  None of my bribes were working, my coercion was in vane, my loving moments, mis gritos, nothing, nada.  I had to resort to the toys-in-the-garbage-if-you-don´t-listen-to-me method. Didn´t work. Today she lost one Barbie and one Ken.  Then, I moved on to the ultimate, most-shameful method: blankie in the trash.

That did it. She gave in.  But, did I win?  I really don´t think so. The battle left me depleted and feeling shame and plain yuckiness.  So much so that I ran to the computer to share this story with you just to get it out of me.  I know I could have dealt with this in so many ways.  For starters, I´ve realized how much I really do need that me-time I had started creating.  The first day I let it go, I let in the chaos. A sign?

How do you deal with mommy meltdowns?