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I recently read something which left me livid. I posted the link on Sunday as part of our weekly Yo Quiero Links and promised I would write about it, so here we are. To truly understand what I’m talking about, however; I think you need to read it yourself.
Here’s a recap, just in case… Published last week, “A Child of Two Worlds,” is a guest post on The New York Times‘ blog, Motherload: Adventures in Parenting. In it, the author claims she worries about how detrimental it could be for her biracial (American mother/Colombian father) child to be considered more Latina than White.
Before I even get into the heart of the matter, the fact that the author describes her daughter as biracial speaks volumes about her incomprehension – to put it lightly – of this topic. Hispanic/Latino is NOT a race, but an ethnicity, so unless her husband is Black, Asian or American Indian – which she does not divulge in her post – her child is not biracial. There are many Latinos who are as white as white can be, believe me, I know, my mother is one of them. Blond hair, blue eyes, light skin. She usually gets asked if she is German, but she is 100% Peruvian.
I have read and re-read the article in question including the more than 300 comments it has elicited and before I go any further, I need to clarify that the fact that the author is praised for a “well-written” and “honest” piece is ABSOLUTELY besides the point. These compliments are the equivalent of ignoring the elephant in the living room. The author’s blatantly racist comments are so obvious, it is unbelievable to me that people would actually ignore them by saying how “brave” and “honest” she is for coming out and saying these things. Can we please just concentrate on what she is saying and not how she is saying it?
Many of the comments on this article were appalling. Let’s start with this one:
“Yeah, my kid was of two cultures, and, yes, she would learn Spanish and English, but to emphasize her Latina side, I felt, was somehow a disservice.”
How people get away with saying stuff like this, I don’t understand. How and why The New York Times would actually publish such a racist and ignorant piece is beyond my comprehension. As much as I believe in and support the First Amendment, as any respectable journalist would, I can not for the life of me see the point in publishing such a ridiculous and unfounded tirade.
The definition of disservice is: a harmful action. How can teaching her daughter about her Latina side be harmful to her? And if she truly believes this, then I guess she did a great disservice to herself by marrying a Latino. It is because of people with these type of limited views that racism and prejudice endure and propagate.
Here’s more: “Yes, I wanted her to be bilingual, but I didn’t want Spanish to be the language she identified with most.”
Again, what is the problem with Spanish? Might be the author’s way of covering her own insecurities as a monolingual American? I guess it would behoove the author to visit SpanglishBaby so she could see for herself the amazing benefits of raising a bilingual child and what a true disservice it is not to do so given her family’s dynamic.
Towards the end of the article, she says: “If Latinos ruled the world, maybe I’d push things to go the other way, but political correctness and cultural diversity aside, I want her doing well in life — money, success, respect, opportunities, and, most of all, safety.”
¿Perdón? Please correct me if I’m wrong, but is she saying that only whites can do “well in life?” To quote part of the comment Ana left on The New York Times’ website: “Have you noticed our President isn’t Caucasian??! I sure feel he did ‘well in life’!”
Is this just a totally ignorant comment? Can it truly be the author believes money, success, respect, opportunities and safety are only achievable if the color of one’s skin is white. Should we maybe enlighten her with the fact that – as reported by Forbes not too long ago – the third wealthiest man in the WORLD is Mexican? That through the years there have been more than 20 Nobel Prize Latino/Hispanic/Spanish winners in categories such as Literature, Medicine, Peace and Chemistry? That many of best-paid athletes in this country are either Black or Latino? Not to mention the countless doctors, lawyers, filmmakers, journalists, artists, singers, teachers, politicians and scientists who are Latino and can attest to doing “well in life.” And I include myself and my family in this list.
The most ironic part of this article is that the author actually complains about being discriminated against during a train trip to Florida with her Colombian husband because they looked suspicious. She claims she was “stunned,” yet her stereotypical remarks (“Abuela Trujillo in Queens will affirm her dad’s culture and Grandma Thompson will affirm mine — salsa dancing and golf, respectively.” Translation: Latino culture=salsa dancing. American culture=playing golf) prove that she’s just like those officers on her train trip to Florida who singled her and her husband out based on looks.
In the end, every parent has the right to raise their children how they please. But with that right also comes the responsibility to raise a child who will hopefully grow up to be a noble and decent human being – which has nothing to do with the color of our skin or the languages we speak. Or at least that’s what I want most for my children, don’t you?
Racism? Discrimination? Prejudice? Or just a mom being “honest” about the realities out there? What do you think? We’d love to find out, so please leave a comment below.
Great post, Roxana.
I see this discrimination over and over again, everywhere I go. I am amazed at the father for choosing this woman as the mother of his children. I think it must be terrible to grow up with a mother so ignorant and ashamed of her husband’s heritage. Why in the world would she marry him in the first place? I’m sure he doesn’t make a descent living. Not with him being a non-Caucasian and all.
Dribble.
And stupidity.
Why do you say that the “author’s blatantly racist comments are so obvious” when you also say “Hispanic/Latino is NOT a race”?
How can she be racist if she isn’t discussing race?
(not trying to poke the bear here, it just seems to confuse your point)
I couldn’t agree with you more. I found the article to be very racist. The more I read the angrier I got. I was kind of surprised you had linked to it since everything on this site is usually so positive… but a little controversy is good (hehe, it got me to comment).
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Scott, thanks for your comment. I’m not sure you actually read the article in question. As I said in the post, it’d be easier to understand what I’m saying if it’s read beforehand.
Either way, I stand by what I said. Hispanic/Latino is not a race – this is not my opinion, it is a fact. That said, if you read the article you’ll be able to see that her remarks are racist because she implies – among many other things – that one needs to be white in order to “do well in life,” basically excluding all other races.
If you are the type of person who walks into a room and starts “noting how many kids were Hispanic, how many black and how many white” – unless you work for the Census – I’d pretty much assume you have issues with race.
Besides, even though Hispanic is not a race – and I only made note of it to inform those who might not be aware of this – the fact that Hispanics come in all colors and flavors, from Blacks to Asians, as I stated in the post, means we are still dealing with issues of race.
I think much of the reason some people were offended by this article stem from the fact that the author lacks information and understanding about Spanish language, Latino culture, and what’s it’s like to live with two languages and cultures in your life. (Sounded like the only info she got about raising a child with two languages was a little info from her pediatrician.) I don’t think the author was delibrately trying to be hurtful or offensive(although I do see why many were upset by it). What I did get out of this, was the voice of a mother asking herself if she was doing the right thing for her daughter, and expressing her fears. I heard her say that her daughter doesn’t look like her, and that she is able to speak a language she can’t understand – it sounds like she’s a little uncomfortable with the unknown. She might respect her husband and his culture, but maybe it feels “foreign” to her. She might feel a little left-out of this part of who her daughter is. She is worried that her daughter might be mistreated or not “fit in.” Overall, I heard a mother who loves her daughter and wants the best for her.
While I can understand what she’s saying, I do not share her views. But then again my experiences are different from hers. We are also a bilingual/bicultural family. I have had many opportunities to travel, am fluent in Spanish, spend time with friends and family in a bicultural community, taught in a dual-language immersion program, and have taken linguistics classes. All these experiences have enriched my life, and I am confident in my own identity and know my children will find their own in time.
I think maybe it’s the author’s lack of experience/knowledge that leads her to feel like she’s walking in uncharted territory.
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Roxy…it is amazing to me that many of our countrymen and women in this great country of ours are so ignorant…I bring this up because as we have discussed so many times, it is only when we achieve to count with a truly educated body of people that we will be able to combat racism…the article was abhorrently racist…as you very articulately point out….the writer seems to be fraught with insecurities about the choice she made when she selected her Colombian husband as her mate….unfortunately, a less than well thought out decision in those quarters can be traumatic for all the family members including the children….with the passage of time I have realize that people such as the writer are so obtuse that nothing we might say will open her mind since her enlightment has to come from within in order to heal the disparities that beseech her intellect…at any rate, the most important issue here is for all of us Hispanics to realize we must empower our children from the time of their conception that the color of our skin, eyes, hair are nothing more than the universe’s way to make humanity a bit more colorful…our brains as those of any ethnicity are branded by our genes and cultivated by the exposure we may find along our lives…so let’s all promise not to allow these prejudiced comments to affect our lives in any way other than to motivate us to succeed.
I read the article in full. I experienced a variety of emotions as I often times do when reading about children being raised with challenges. And then I recalled quite vividly how our High School son came home with a form to validate the ethnicity of the population at his High School.
I was married to a man whose parents hail from Cuba and Spain, and proudly called himself a Latino. My son marked his form both Caucasian and Hispanic on the form. Never have I felt a twinge of holding back his heritage, keeping his Spanish from him, in fact I almost begged for Abuela’s flan last night when he came home from visitation!
Shame on our society for allowing such baggage to be carried from generation to generation. We must embrace the fact that we are our children’s first teachers – and that encompasses all aspects of academics, socialization and kindness.
I read the article as well. I’m annoyed, but not surprised. I see this attitude a lot – many folks I know spending time on whether or not to “call” themselves or their children Hispanic (or Latino) and actually fearing what might result if they embrace the culture.
The terms Hispanic/Latino and the vastly different countries/groups under this umbrella – why are they looked upon with such distaste? I’m sure the article would not have been written as such had the spouse been Italian, or German, or Irish.
Perceptions are hurtful…
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I’m not surprised by the ignorance or lack of knowledge that exists about Hispanics/Latinos in this country.
I came to the USA at a young age and never understood the obsession with race/ethnicity in this country.
Unfortunately it seems that we have not progressed and the continued negative sentiment against Latinos have forced many people to conceal their cultural heritage thinking they will not get ahead.
I have adapted to the American lifestyle, yet I have never lost my culture. Being Hispanic and bilingual is a privilege I will carry forever.
Roxy, you were right. This article got my blood boiling. And it made me sad for little children like the author’s. But it also strengthened my belief that (not that I really needed it, but still) raising my children to speak more than one language and to be proud of who they are is the right thing to do because I do want them to be “noble and decent human beings”.
Still, even if she is racist, well, she was being “honest” about how she feels and what she struggles with. She,and so many other people living in this great country, need to get educated, travel abroad, read good literature, see the big world, stop watching so much stereotypical, bigotted, sexist television. Because the sad thing is, she is not the only one.
And that is also why I think it’s so important for my children to speak Spanish and be proud of who they are and get out in the world. It’s my way of showing “Them”. Like Marcia above says: “let’s all promise not to allow these prejudiced comments to affect our lives in any way other than to motivate us to succeed.”
Keep up the great work. LOVE this blog.
I liked one comment on the article: You are seeing your daughter’s “two worlds” as limitations….It’s more like options and opportunities. It’s amazing that a country built on the back of many immigrants has such a hard time understanding the wonderful (and yes, complex) world of not being just one thing.”
I am shocked at the writer’s thoughts and how conscious she is about how many children check boxes as to whether they are caucausian or hispanic. I think she needs to really experience her husband’s culture and add it to her own, so she can understand that you can have more than one culture and it’s a wonderful, beautiful thing that leaves you more open-minded.
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I was reflecting on this article as I walked yesterday (it was so beautiful outside). Whites are not the only ones struggling with this issue. It was surprising to me the number of Latinos I encountered teaching that opt not to teach their kids Spanish who feel they are doing their children a favor by only teaching them English. I have also met Chicanos who are slightly older than me, that have said when they were growing up, their parents were told by teachers that speaking their native language at home would be bad for their child and that in order to assimilate they should only teach them English and American customs. I know, I was shocked too! We have come a long way…think back to when people sent Native Americans away to boarding school to “civilize” them. That makes me sick to my stomach. We can be a voice of change, helping to educate and change attitudes. I think – what if the author of this article was part of a community like this, and had the tools and support she needed to help her in this journey? All the more reason to keep this website going strong! Thanks for doing what you’re doing folks! Keep up the good work!
livesimplylovestrongly’s last blog post..Fresas
I’m glad that someone is calling her out on many of her statements-you should post your link in the comments so that maybe she will read it. It is this type of free exchange of ideas that leads to paradigm shifts in thinking. She has probably been so privileged in life that she doesn’t even realize the entrenched racist type of thought that she walks around with.
I’m glad that you linked these to this article and have addressed this topic, because it is something that I come into contact with frequently. As a coordinator of Dual Immersion programs, I sometimes come into contact with English-speaking white families who want their children to become bilingual. As a white woman myself, I hear all sorts of things that make my blood boil from the same people who want to teach their children spanish. Some parents become very picky about the Spanish-speaking students in the program-they don’t want to send their children to the “other side of town” (i.e. immigrant side of town), they think that the Spanish-speaking kids should be screened before entering the program in order to ensure that they are speaking “proper” Spanish, and the list goes on and on. Every once in a while it is just blatant racism like “The mexicans are taking us over and so I want my kids to have an advantage because they only hire bilingual people now”, but usually it comes in more subtle forms of racism that people might not even be aware of.
Becoming bilingual is so much more than just language. English-speaking parents must accept and embrace that children who become bilingual will take on hybrid cultural identities. If you’re not okay with that, then you are raising bilingual children for the wrong reasons.
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I can see her insecurities as this is what she is writing about..she doesn’t know in her heart a better way to think. This can stem from her experiences growing up. We do pass on what we learn to our children.
While I can have empathy for her, I do feel for her child because if this is how the mother feel/believe in her heart, then this is what she will impose on her child.
I’m also rather sad for her husband. I would feel very disrespected if my wife felt that way about my culture…then why is she married to me? Or is it likely that he also feels this way and that’s why he married a Caucasian woman?
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