I’ve had baby names on the mind lately, and at this late stage of my pregnancy it’s kind of hard not to. Every sharp kick, jab and foretelling Braxton Hicks contraction is a reminder to stop procrastinating and decide on something, anything, before delivery day.
For my first pregnancy four years ago, it was different, as most first pregnancies tend to be. I was so excited that I basically peed on a stick and ran to a bookstore to purchase a baby name book and started scouring baby name websites immediately in search of a name I would fall in love with. But if you’ve ever looked at one of these books or been on any of these websites, you’ll see that the possibilities are seriously endless. In much the same way I feel when I enter a multi-story department store, I was totally overwhelmed by all the categories, meanings, spelling variations, etc. etc. So many choices, too many choices, and you get to pick just one (well, two, if you use a middle name). One name that will be with your child FOREVER. So I took a breath and a step back and asked myself: Well, what do you want in a name?
Read: In The Name… of Culture?
So I started sorting things out in my head: Do I go with trendy, traditional, classic, cool, strong, sweet or unique? Should it be international, American as apple pie, or a name in Spanish picked off the family tree? Does it have to flow with our last name? How is it going to come off once he or she becomes an adult? Are there any weird nicknames that could come out of it? And importantly, if it’s English-sounding, how will the abuelos and my husband’s family in Central America pronounce or butcher it?
With the first one, once my husband and I found out we were having a girl, it made one part of our baby naming job easier. Her middle name would be the same as mine, Leonor, which is also my mother and grandmother’s name. Now that I’m an adult, I absolutely cherish this name, but truth be told, as a kid, I despised this name. It felt so old-fashioned. But that’s exactly why I love the name now, and the fact that it was passed on to me makes me feel more connected to my family and my roots. I think of my great-grandparents, and what they must have been thinking when they gave this name to my grandmother. Of course, it’s also kind of cool that in recent years, la Infanta Leonor of Spain brought the name back in vogue, and other variations of the name have become a popular choice in naming the newest little princesas of Europe.
After we settled on Leonor for a middle name, picking the all-important first name wasn’t too difficult. We wanted something that flowed nicely into the last name, so we soon settled on Kalila Leonor. Kalila is Arabic in origin. We liked the way it sounded, plus, it has a wonderful meaning: beloved. And yes, the abuelos have no trouble pronouncing it.
In the end, we went down a route that is fairly telling of our hybrid, bicultural and bilingual American-Latino lives. We were definitely very American in giving our daughter an uncommon first name, something that would distinguish her from the herd. But we are also very proud of our culture and heritage and wanted a name that reflected that. And since I already had a family name that had been passed on to me it was easy to pass along the torch.
We’ll probably go down the same route of choosing a not-so-common first name and family middle name for this new baby girl. I do have a short list, and that’s a good thing because we have a short amount of time to decide. As I write, I’m feeling those practice contractions, yikes!
How did you chose your children’s names? Did your heritage play a part in the decision?
{Photo courtesy of Cynthia Leonor Garza}
Oh you’re so lucky! Having girls means a sheer panacea of great options for names! When we chose our son’s name we tried very hard to pick names that were more or less the same in English and Spanish. We didn’t want any confusion on his passport or with his extended family, who seem to rename people based on their preferences. We chose Sebastian Tomas, but if I had it to do again I probably would have given him a family middle name like you did with your daughter (for my father David). I do have to admit that my main concern with my son’s name was that Will or Robert Ramirez didn’t sound very natural, but I certainly didn’t want to completely deny my half of the equation with a name like Francisco or Juan and Sebastian’s cousin had already taken Nicolas, with was a favorite of mine.
We did something fairly similar… But my husband, stepson, myself all have names that start with a C! My husband is Korean and American and I wanted to also have a not so common Spanish name. We settled with Cristian Yong: my brother’s name is Christopher and my brother in law is Yong. So in the end, our name is very traditional, family, and also easily pronounced by abuelos, gringos, and harmony (abuela en koreano).
Your post brings a smile to my face as I recall our naming journey, which of course we continue to follow, since our girls and their names are so much a part of our daily experience. Our little chiquitas (now 4 and 6) are each blessed (and burdened!) with a whopping FOUR names. It’s terribly confusing and lots of fun. Our eldest, Belén, is actually Katherine Gabriela Belén Torres, so she goes by her THIRD name. And our little one, Paloma, is Ana Paloma Mirai Torres, so she goes by her SECOND name. Let me say to any pregnant readers searching for names: we do not necessarily recommend this!
Doctor’s appointments, insurance forms, school applications, airline tickets – argh – the world is not made for four names!
Nonetheless, we’re delighted with these choices, as each one perfectly reflects its owner. (How does that work, anyway? Do children’s personalities grow to fit their names, or do we somehow intuit what type of name will fit a child even before they are born?) Belén’s first name, Katherine, is for my sister, who has been the kindest helper and friend to me all my life (well, okay, maybe not so much ages 9-13). I love that Belén carrying that name can remind her of the good fortune she has in being a sister. Her second name, Gabriela, has many related meanings, including “God’s able-bodied one,” and that she is! Her third name, Belén, is the name we call her; it means Bethlehem, so Christmas is a fun time for her since so many Spanish carols have her name in them.
Palomita’s first name, Ana, is the Spanish version of my mother’s name and my husband’s Colombian grandmother’s too, so Paloma continued the trend of “1st name after a beloved relative.” Her second name, Paloma, means “dove,” and her third name, Mirai, means “miracle” (in Basque). These two sum her up just right – a sweet and miraculous little bird.
So that’s the charm of it. The challenge is that we NEVER imagined non-Spanish speakers would have such a hard time pronouncing “Belén.” Seemed straightforward enough to us: Bay-LÉN, right? But no, she suffers through teachers and friends who just can’t get their mouths around the 2nd syllable emphasis and end up instead with BELL-in, or BAY-lin, or, worse …BayLEEN (whale teeth!). We figure this builds character, as our daughter gently educates even the most monolingual people she encounters. For about 3 days she decided she’d like to be called Julie instead, but happily, that passed, and we hope Belén will enjoy her name(s) all her life.
On our end, we make sure we get the full value of our independent school tuition by insisting that the front office figure out how to get that accent on all communications home! Just our little part of creating a more multicultural world. I mean, really!
“Paloma” seems easier for most English speakers to reckon with. Thus, as with so many things, the second child got it easier in the name department too. It’s been fun to see them both discover the “difference” of having non-English names – they love to pronounce them with horrible accents (“Puh-LOH-muh”) and then giggle hysterically about just how wrong that sounds.
In the end, we love both girls’ elaborate names, and we’re proud of the familial, cultural and symbolic heritage they convey. Too big a load for such small people to carry? We think not, and it’s our pleasure to watch them evolve into their own versions of what each name means to them.
Such fun to recall. Thanks for reminding me of the special privilege we have when we name our children. Good luck with your selection!
Cynthia- Felicidades! Our youngest is 8 months so it wasn’t too long ago that we were going through the same thing. We also have 2 ninas.
For both of my pregnancies it took until we saw the bebe until we finally decided on a first and middle name. Each girl like in Hunter’s post has 4 names; Isabella Alexandra Aldaba McMahon and Sofia Elizabeth Aldaba McMahon. We too have a baby name book and went through it hungrily, trying finding a name that both my husband, Carlos, and I liked and could be pronounced by both families (my American family and his family in Mx).
Isabella (now 4) was Emily for a long time until we thought of the name Isabella a few weeks before the delivery & the name stuck. Alexandra was for my husband’s aunt who everyone adored and died very young. My Bella has several sombre nombres; Bella, Chabela, Chabby, etc.
Sofia on the other hand, we didn’t name her until after she was born. All the names I heard just didn’t sound right for her, she needed a special name. Plus I didn’t want to have too girls with -ella at the end of their name. She was either going to be Gisele or Sofia. It wasn’t until we looked in her sweet little face to see if she felt more like a Sofia or more of a Gisele. Then we thought of our top middle names and then we decided to give her my middle name Elizabeth, I go my my middle name not first. We call her Sofie.
I’m sure the right name will come to you in time. It never hurts to have a few back up options, just in case the name doesn’t fit the bebe.
Good luck!
i love you post because i literally thought about baby names waaay before I was even pregnant. i woudl hear a name and say to my husband “what about ____?” and he would laugh at me.
I didnt find out if I was having a boy or a girl until the baby was born, so we had both picked out. We had a boy. My husband wanted Enzo for a boy (since day 1) and I wanted Luca or Lucas… by the time I was ready to give birth I had just given in to his request, but I wanted to pick the middle name. I really liked David, (he didn’t) and we both liked Antonio. When I was at the hospital he told me I could pick whatever name I wanted (I think after seeing me give birth, he felt like he owed me that much, haha) I felt guilty about naming him David, because my husband didn’t really like it, I also thought that when he got in trouble, Enzo David wouldn’t sound so great, as opposed to a longer name!
Somehow, Alejandro came back into the picture. My husband really liked the name for a first name, but I thought it would be hard to pronunciate, and I didn’t want my son to have to correct people throughout his life! I also was concerned taht the French side of my hubby’s ffamily wasn’t going to be able to correctly pronounce AleJANdro (French speakers have trouble with the H / Jota sound)
but all of a sudden i started thinking about it as a middle name… i looked it up and liked its meaning, “defender of men” also, my husband’s middle name is Alexandre (in French) and my dad’s name is Lizandro (si como Lisandro Mesa! jaja) whihc comes from the same root as Alejandro, according to the Internet. Last, but CERTAINLY not least, my favorite singer in the whole wide UNIVERSE is Alejandro Sanz, I even listened to his songs while I was in labor.
I also liked the fact that his middle name would be in Spanish, and he could later in life explain to people that Alejandro Sanz was a famous Spaniard singer who sings the most amazing love songs. i figure an exotic middle name is a great topic of conversation.. who knows by the time he is older, and thanks to Lady Gaga, Alejandro might not be so exotic!
Thanks for sharing your name-picking journey!
I thought it was important to give our daughter both of our last names like they do in Spanish speaking countries. I didn’t just want mine as her middle name as many people here do. Before I married I only had one legal last name, but as I identified more with my Mexican side (I’m half) I wished I could use my mom’s too. So I know what CASEY (above) is talking about, the name reflecting your side.
It was interesting when we were thinking about middle names. For some reason we liked a lot of names with the letter C. It was then that I found out that my abuelita (q.e.p.d.) had a middle name and it was Ma. Cristina. So that did it, we chose Cristina!
I love reading how everyone chose their children’s names, thanks for sharing your wonderful stories ladies! I think we’ve got one FINALLY but you can never be sure until you look at the child, right? I guess I should have a back-up, lol.
Oh the name game has been colorful and sometimes difficult for our Puerto Rican-American family, as well. We had a girl’s name picked out–Leila Marie– for our first son who was obviously, a boy. He came early with little warning. I’ve always loved my husband’s name, Angel, but I knew that the name Angel in English was a girl’s name. We finally decided on Benicio as the middle name and we call him Beni so as not to confuse him with his bisabuelo, abuelo, and tio–ALL with the same name–Angel! My now 5 year old son goes by Beni at home, but at school he prefers “Benicio.” Truth be told he is my precious Angel and I am so glad I let go of the feminine connotation I thought his first name carried in English. The best part of all is that these 2 names cannot be butchered by the English language. How did we pull that off?!
Now the hard part–we gave 2 fantastic male names to our first son and are now 8 weeks away from the birth of our second!!! I have loved the name “Joaquin” all my life, but JOA-KIN–just sounds like an insult waiting to happen in English! I also like Cole so this son can take my name, the way Beni did from his father. We have a list of 10 names all together which pay homage to my father “Robbie” for Robert, Eli for a famous inventor on my mother’s side, and Daniel (for a tio), as well as Stevie (for my favorite tio who passed at 49). We’ve decided we need to meet our son in order to make a final decision. Names our so important to our heritage and culture, and it just makes it a richer journey when you pay respect to two (or more)! Enjoy your children.