I know it’s a tough question to answer and it’s even tougher when we’re confronted by the type of news we all woke up to this morning: the tragic death of 12 people and over 50 more injured at the hands of a lone shooter in Aurora, Colorado. As parents, we immediately think about how that could have been you in that theater or, even worse, your child. Tragedies can strike to any of us at any moment and that can’t stop us from living our lives, yet we want to protect our kids at all costs.
I know that firsthand since I grew up in a war-torn El Salvador where tragedies, death and the fear of the anything-can-happen-to-you-at-anytime was prevalent. Yet, I grew up shielded from the rawness of the atrocities and the true darkness of it all. In other words, I grew up protected and with a veil over my eyes. I once regretted that, but now that I’m a mom I get it, I really get it.
Over at my Babble blog, Besos, I dig more into this story and my reasons for not wanting my daughter to know about the Aurora shootings or anything that goes on in the news until she definitely is old enough to “have” to. Here’s an excerpt of the post titled The Aurora Tragedy: Is it Even Possible to Shield Your Kids From Violence?
Am I naive in thinking that by shielding my 5-year-old daughter from real events I will protect her soul? YES I AM, and here’s why.
I grew up in El Salvador amidst a violent and bloody civil war. The war raged on until the year after I left my home country to go to college in my country of birth, the United States. The whole time I lived in El Salvador I was aware that there was political and civil unrest because there was no escaping it. I heard bombs on a semi-constant basis; I could recognize the sound of a fire cracker versus that of a shot (I still have a knack for that); I had to flee the country when in my senior year; my house had a permanent guard — rifle and all –at our front door all times; my stepdad’s cars were bullet proof; friends’ relatives were kidnapped, and on and on.
Read the entire post HERE.
My daughter is 5 and I won’t tell her about the Autora shooting and I am trying to protect her from hearing about the Aurora shooting. She’s a naturally anxious kid and I just don’t think she’s ready to deal with this kind of news. Of course we can’t always control what she might overhear from other children or adults. Here’s a great article from Kidpower on how to have these kinds of conversations with children.. http://kidpower.org/library/article/regain-emotional-safety/
Thanks so much for sharing that article, Tonya. I agree that we won’t be able to shield them from what they learn outside, and if/when that does happen I’ll make sure to follow a tip I was just given to focus on the people who are helping during the tragedy. There’s always someone helping. I thought that was a great perspective!
I think that while we would like to shelter our children from violence and tragedies, we might be better serving them to prepare them on how to deal with it, both emotionally and logistically.
My in-laws did that with my husband and his siblings. They grew up in a country with a pretty high level of violence knowing what to do if one of their parents was kidnapped, whose house to go to if a bomb went off in the city, etc. It might not be the best case scenario, but I think that preparation is all we can realistically give our kids. The whole world is uncertain even in the Global North.
I agree that we should prepare them, but I definitely don’t want to expose her to unnecessary fears at her age.
Would love to find a class or tips on how to help them be prepared, but without fear.