Photo by Lorena
How is it that once we become moms we lovingly give so much of ourselves that we slowly let those elemental pieces of our soul fade away? Not only am I a mom, but a WAHM, that has to constantly juggle the dance between bringing in cash for my part of the home budget and being an involved mom and wife. In an effort to do it all, I forget about myself. Yes, it´s the same old whiny, whiny mother song. But it is real, and I am tired of ignoring the whining inside of me. So, please, let me whine.
Yesterday I had a particularly rough day. I found myself complaining, talking too much about everything that was affecting me and allowing all that energy to seep through. My husband came home earlier than planned and I was ecstatic about that. In an impulse, I ran to my computer and checked the schedule for a local dance/workout studio that is famous for its Zumba and Latin Jam classes. Great! I had an hour to make it to the Latin Jam class. I ran!
Mind you, it had been almost two years since the last, and first, time I had gone to a Zumba class. Last year I must have managed to exercise maybe 20 days out of 365. Yes, that bad; totally unacceptable for a woman nearing her 40s and leading a hectic life. The really pathetic part is that it has been over three years since the last time I danced. Like really, really let-yourself-go dancing to salsa, merengue, vallenato… Ay, que rico. I miss it.
Last night I jammed in a sweaty dance studio to música Latina. I shaked my hips, released my soul, pumped my fists and hit the merengue beats like no other. And just then I remembered that during my whole pre-motherhood life dancing had been my catharsis. Dancing to Latin beats had always renewed me. Back then I just danced, all the time, all night, con quién se dejara.
The question I asked was ¿Qué pasó? How did I forget to live to a beat? Why did I let go of something that renews my spirit like no other? When did I trade the time to dance for the time to whine? Yes, of course it is because a precious baby girl entered my life, but it is not her fault. It is mine for not getting creative about how to continue doing what I love and what I need to replenish my own energy to continue giving.
Of course, I can´t hit the Miami Beach clubs like I did in my twenties, and my husband just isn´t the let’s-go-dance-salsa (or any other music) type of guy. Now I improvise and Zumba/Latin Jam hit the sweet spot. ¡No pares! ¡Sigue, sigue! (Wow! That song really brought back the memories!)
How about you? What piece of yourself did you loose with motherhood and how did you, or will you, bring it back?
OMG Ana you had me crying reading this! This is EXACLY how I feel! We all work SO hard and lately I have been having the same feelings. I think we hit a brick wall and wonder – What happened? I use to be fun and have fun! AND then marriage and children came and we are no longer our 20-year old fun selves…And we take a back seat! This reminds me to STOP and go DANCE. I will be sure to take time for myself and Zumba!
I had a feeling this post would resonate with so many of us. I can only imagine how busy you keep yourself with all the amazing stuff you´re putting out there. We are so driven and motivated that we forget to recharge. It´s essential. Go, baila y me cuentas!
Love this post Ana (and the photo accompanying it!)!
It’s a swift kick-in-the-rear for all of us allowing those parts of ourselves to slip away!
I used to be a competitive Disco Dancer (think Deney Terrio of the show Dance Fever!), and now I never dance that way. I miss it, but more importantly, I miss the exhilaration of the moves and the thrill of the competitions.
Thanks for reminding me (and all of us) that it’s important to say Hola to that part of our being, allow it to creep back in or – in your case last night – flood back in if only for a short while.
OMG, Beth! I can´t believe you mentioned Dance Fever! It totally brought back memories of sitting on my mom´s bed watching the show. I forgot how much I loved it as a kid.
How I would love to see pictures of you as a Disco Queen!! Wow…the memories..thanks for sharing them with us!
I love this post. We lose so much of ourselves when we become mothers. I miss being spontaneous and just picking up and going anywhere. You’ve motivated me to organize a Moms Night Out!!
Ahhh..spontaneity and control..gone..probably the hardest things to let go.
I hope I´m on your Moms Night Out list!!
YOu have just explained what many women are going thru, including me. I think I need to try a Zumba class. never tried it but I’ve seen videos on youtube and oh man, do I miss shaking what my mama gave me. LOL
Lisa, if you miss shaking it, then go! You will pay a price though, three days later I´m still hurting!
I totally hear ya! Just the other day my little girl asked me to dance with her (right before bed time) and well, I realized I had not done that in a while. Before (and even soon after the little ones were born) my house was always filled with music, and we would dance. Then for what ever reason we stopped. I missed it. Like you, I love love love to dance and I married a man that well- he tries. Hehe. Music is a big part of who I am, lo traigo en las venas, and I miss it. I have been taking some Zumba classes as well, but it is not taught by a Latina/o instructor so, sorry to say, it is not the same. I get a good work out though. Ha. Enjoy, take that “you” time you so much deserve my friend. And make it a point to dance away!!!!!
When Camila was a baby I used to carry her on a wrap and put on Te Mando Flores by Fonseca and dance, dance, dance. It was a great way to calm her down and I would release some stress. My girl loves to dance and go crazy, so we have our little jamming parties. They usually happen in the kitchen. Lol! As you said, dancing is in my veins, so I´m sure it must be in hers as well (de mi lado, para nada del papá! Jaja!)
I go to curves about 4 or 5 times a week and they too have the Zumba class. It’s quite invigorating. Glad to hear you are doing a little for yourself.
Definitely invigorating. I´m really trying to make it a point to go since I love the music, the intense workout and how everyone is so into their thing that you can totally just let yourself go.
I’m new to Zumba. But I’ve always loved to dance. Though I can’t go clubbin regularly… Well, ever, since kids. We have “pizza party night” every week. My favorite part is that we pump the music while waiting for the pizzas to cook. My kids have some pretty good dance moves and they ate great dance partners. My hubby & I even show off a few moves. Babies make great resistance “weights” gently lifting them up and down in rhythmn. Like Ana said, get creative and there are plenty of ways to exercise while playing.
Love the pizza party night idea!!
Loved this post. What did I loose? My in-control, square loving OCDness. I miss it. And try to sneak it in whenever I can. Which probably explains why I eat my food in squares. *sigh*. You’ve motivated me to find a Zumba class this week – no matter what. And I’ve never even Zumba’ed but have always wanted to.
I totally know about the control issues. Nothing is ours anymore, is it? But..we can still dance!!
Let me know if you do try it and how it goes. Funny thing is that the class I took is not exactly Zumba, but the same concept. It´s called Latin Jam. But, I think we´ve given Zumba some pretty good free promotion! Ni modo…
Ah, dancing. I think I also lost that part when becoming a mother. We shouldn’t let ourselves do that anymore! Great to hear you were able to turn around your day by going to that class! I’ve always wanted to try a zumba class, one of these days I’ll definitely do it!
For some reason I stuck with the exercise, probably because I don’t feel normal unless I exercise. My great love is running not dancing, so it has been easy to incorporate the kids into my workout using a jogging stroller. I started feeling guilty about every dollar that I spent on myself knowing that college costs just keep going up. I finally said enough and am treating my self to work outs with a trainer. We can’t completely deny ourselves. I’ll keep saving for college, but a little can go for making me stronger.
I’m just emerging from the new mom haze and I have a 3.5 year old and a 21 month old, just when I was starting to gain a bit of me back baby #2 came along and I drowned some more, a very lovely, sweet drowning of course into babydom. But, I’ve declared 2011 the year of me. My husband and I have each designated a night where one or the other gets to leave for the night and do whatever they want, kind of like date night but by yourself =) It’s been fantastic. I’ve enjoyed the movies, dinner, old friends, hours at the bookstore – I feel like myself again. It’s so rejuvenating. Highly recommend it!
I felt so good when I trained in martial arts daily (before marriage and babies.) … I recaptured that feeling with Zumba a year or two ago, but it was a 6 week class and once it was over, I didn’t look for another one. I so miss it! …
I may just go look for another one today – and if not, nada is stopping me from dancing here at home. It’s been awhile. Thanks for the reminder! {abrazos}
I took a Zumba class once when I was pregnant. Then the evil side of pregnancy kicked in and I couldn’t walk, let alone exercise. I’d love to go again one day, it was so much fun and goodness knows I could use a bit of cardio.
Wow…I actually read this post a few nights after hubby and I went out salsa dancing…and you described my exact feelings! It had been about 4 1/2 years since we had gone dancing due to marriage and shortly after our bundles of joy. I realized how much I missed it as well. I had so much fun (After I got over the fact that I am now 35 with some lower ab post baby stretch marks as I was amazed with the young sexy girls there. Ok, enough of that venting). I just kept thinking that there’s got to be a way to satisfy that empty part of my soul…so for now, I will try to dance one song every day with hubby no matter how hectic things get…and try a zumba class that I looked into nearby! Thanks Ana for allowing me to see that I’m not the only one who misses something from their pre-mommy days and feeling ok about it
This sounds fantastic! Now I need to look up a zumba class!
Ana you are so right! Once we become mother’s we give so much of ourselves that we forget to take care of ourselves. Dancing was one of my favorite things I loved to do. M. an, did I go clubbing. I wish I still had all of that energy. One of my other favorite things to do was write in a journal, daily. It was such a great way for me to review the day’s happenings or to sort out anything issues that came up in my life. BTW I would be happy in joining u at those Zumba classes. Thanks for the article, I definately helped me to remember that I “need and Must” get my grove on, AGAIN!
In her interview, Kris’s sister also dropped a couple of bombshells that no one expected to hear.
Before you look for legal representation, spend some time
researching the various ways you can get divorced.
In most cases, a same-sex lawyer is able to emphathize with your situation.
Check out my site: Divorce Lawyer Brooklyn