Photo credit: Phil Scoville
It’s starting to happen. English is slowly creeping into our house. My almost four-year-old is consistently using more and more English. She never fully speaks solely in English to me, but whereas before she’d say an English word or two in a sentence, lately she’s been known to say full sentences. I know there’s nothing wrong with this and I was expecting this would start happening, but it seems like it’s happening a bit faster than I anticipated.
I can’t believe I was once worried that my daughter would be at a disadvantage if I only spoke Spanish to her. In the last year, I’ve stood by fascinated by the amount of English she’s learned on her own, in preschool and just playing with her friends because, as you probably remember, we use the mL@H method, so we don’t speak English at home – in theory, at least.
But now, I have a confession to make, something that I hadn’t really paid attention to before because, apparently, I’ve been doing it unconsciously. While it is 100 percent true that we only speak Spanish to our children (with the occasional exception by my husband who still thinks it’s kind of cute to exchange a few sentences in English with our daughter), I just recently realized that lately, my husband and I have been using a lot more English when we talk to each other. ¡Que horror!
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like we’ve never done that. I mean, even though we profess to use the mL@H method, we do some code-switching, (never when speaking to the kids, though). Yet, what I’ve been noticing lately is that we’ll just have full-fledged conversations in English. I might have not been worried about this when Vanessa was a toddler, but now that she’s speaking non-stop and is oh so aware of all conversations around her, I’ve noticed that sometimes she’ll say something in English in direct response (or as a commentary) to something her father’s saying to me (or vice versa) if it’s somehow related to her.
Ever since this started happening, I’ve been paying closer attention to the language my husband and I use and I’ve been amazed by how quickly we’ve been unconsciously changing to English as our preferred method of communication. I’m not really sure where this is coming from, except for the fact that I recently went back to work full-time and I’m surrounded by English all day long, whereas before I was home with my children and our world revolved around Spanish.
While I’m proud that we only speak to our children in Spanish, (it wouldn’t be natural for us to do it any other way), I am aware of how what’s happening in the grownup’s language usage in our household can affect not only their exposure to their minority language, but also their perceived need to speak it.
Now that we’re aware of what’s going on, my husband and I have promised each other we’ll work hard to change it. We’re supposed to remind each other to use Spanish when the kids are with us by uttering the word “español” if we notice we’re turning to English. (Let me tell you, it’s easier said than done. It takes a lot more effort than you’d think.) Plus, since Vanessa LOVES any opportunity to win, we’ve also turned it into a little game. Whenever she hears us speak English, she’s supposed to yell out: “¡inglés! ¡Perdiste!” She thinks this is super funny, until she’s the one that loses, of course!
Are any of you out there going through something similar? How are you dealing with it? Or, do you have any suggestions for what we should do?
Despite our language at home being English, our son’s primary language is Spanish. I was more afraid of preschool putting a lot of pressure on him to speak English. Can you find her more Spanish-speaking peers, assuming her preschool peer group is mostly English-speaking?
.-= wm´s last blog ..what makes a good hotel changes with life stages =-.
Funny you should mention finding her more Spanish-speaking peers because one thing I’ve definitely noticed is that she plays a lot in English. I guess her vocabulary in this area is much more extensive in English for obvious reasons.
We’re lucky we belong to a bilingual playgroup. However, it’s been hard to attend the meetups ever since I started working full-time. Thanks for reminding me I need to make a bigger effort.
My daughter was 95% Chinese and 5% English before she went to school. I was actually worrying if she could manage with her little knowledge of English at school. So in the summer before, I read her more English story books.
Of course, this worry was unnecessary. Children are amazingly smart at picking up languages. Now my daughter is at school for about a year, and she still speaks about 90% Chinese and 10% English at home. Overall, I would say she speaks 75% Chinese and 25% English.
One thing I would try to avoid is to make the child love one language and hate another. I keep telling her that every language is beautiful. Here in Toronto, we hear people speaking many different languages on the street. We are Chinese so we speak Chinese. If there is somebody who cannot understand us, we should speak in English.
.-= Edwin´s last blog ..Languages and Business Opportunities =-.
100% with you, Edwin, in terms of trying to avoid making the child love one language over another. My daughter, as I have said in the past, couldn’t be prouder of the fact that she speaks three languages – even though she only knows a few words in her third one! When she meets someone new, she immediately wants to know what languages they speak.
One thing I don’t do is turn to English if we’re around people who don’t understand us and I’m actually glad you brought it up because it’s a topic I’ve been wanting to explore a little bit more. I know some people do, and some people, like myself, don’t. I know it could be considered rude, but if I’m talking to my child, it shouldn’t really matter if no one else can understand what I’m saying to her…
Edwin, I love the way you put this! “We are Chinese so we speak Chinese.”
I could have written this post. My husband and I have never spoken a word of English to our four year old but we have a much harder time remembering to speak Spanish to each other in front of the boys. I blame it on the fact that when we met we spoke to each in English and it became a habit. My biggest fear is that my younger son’s Spanish will suffer greatly if the boys start speaking English to each other. A few things that we have done to up the Spanish in our household lately:
-completely banned English television
-convinced my oldest son that his little brother does not understand English yet so we must always speak Spanish around him. (So far this have been very successful, but my little is only two and doesn’t speak very much yet.)
-actively sought out more Spanish-speaking children as playmates
I love your idea of having your daughter catch you speaking English at home as a reminder to speak in Spanish. We will have to try that too!
.-= Adriana´s last blog ..Career Change =-.
Thanks for the great tips, Adriana! I haven’t gone as far as banning English television, although she mostly watches Vme and whenever we check out movies from the library, I like to make sure they have a Spanish track which, unfortunately, is not always the case. To be honest, now that she’s almost 4 and very opinionated, it’s getting harder to choose the movies for her and many times she likes the ones which don’t have a Spanish track…
I’m also using the “your little brother doesn’t speak English” trick with her whenever I hear her speak English to him. He’s only 9 mos, so I think I’ll be able to use this for a while. Who know what’ll happen when he starts speaking. Inevitably, they’ll most probably speak English to each other…
You never know. My youngest is now two and speaking quite a bit. I like to eavesdrop in on their conversations and so far Spanish is all that I hear. My husband and I do have to make more of an effort to avoid speaking English to each other in front of the boys.
As far as the English videos from the library, I may be a mean mami but I check to see if there is a Spanish language track and if there is not, we don’t check it out. I just tell him that Mateo (my littlest) won’t understand it if it is in English. So far it is working.
.-= Adriana´s last blog ..Bluebonnets =-.
There are very subtle things such as adults speaking to one another in certain languages that send status messages about language. This topic is important to bilingual teachers, because kids will also see bilingual teachers communicate with one another usually in Spanish. Every time that I go into a bilingual classroom to talk to the teacher in front of the kids, I always have to think about which language that I am going to use and I sometimes find myself using English because I possibly just got out of an English meeting. It is so much more difficult to stay in the language, especially when English seems to be predominate in the work force.
.-= Melanie´s last blog ..Surefire Ways to Elevate the Status of Your Bilingual Program =-.
What an interesting point you bring up about the status messages about languages that children can perceive. Totally makes sense. I want to explore that topic more.
We only speak Spanish at home. Completely and totally. However, she spends her day with kids her age at preschool/daycare where they play in English.
She’s at the stage (almost 3YO) where she’s speaking Spanglish because she’s sorting out the languages. I notice that most of the words/phrases she uses with us in English are words she uses to play. Such as “Close your eyes,” “Go,” “Your turn,” etc…
It is so difficult sometimes because we aren’t even always conscious of what language we’re speaking. Now that I’m speaking “only” Spanish to the kids, (it’s turned out to be about 90% Spanish, but I’m working on it), I get confused because there are things I don’t want the suegra to understand, and then when my husband comes home, we switch between Spanish and English every other sentence. I’ve been having headaches lately and I wonder if it’s related. LOL.
.-= Tracy´s last blog ..The “Mexican” statue: Racist, Tacky or Funny? =-.
It does seem the “status” of the language is key.
In our family the language at home is almost completely Spanish, but the children who know how to speak English are the “big kids”, and the adults who speak English well are the ones who can drive a car and generally have more money for paletas. The kids can’t really refuse to speak Spanish or they wouldn’t survive in the house. But it seems like English has all the bling.
I’m constantly saying “español por favor” but it feels like a real uphill battle, as adults in the family are always wanting to practice their English with the older kids. It’s not that their against bilingualism at all, but they feel a pressing need to improve their English, to survive at the grocery store or to get better jobs, and the kids are all too willing to be their little English teachers at every opportunity.
—Sigh—
BUT! I will not give up!!!!!!!!!!!!