Today we’re doing something a bit different for our monthly ReadMe series. We’re so excited to be part of the talented Julia Alvarez‘ blog tour for her brand new book How Tia Lola Learned to Teach, the much-awaited, second installment in her The Tia Lola Stories. The books feature cuentos about familia and culture and center around two young siblings, who move from the Dominican Republic to Vermont, and their eccentric and magical aunt, Tía Lola who follows them later to help out their mami. I’m always happy to feature books for older kids (these are for the 8 to 12-year-old range) and the best part is that we get to giveaway two sets of books with both How Tia Lola Learned to Teach and its pre-quel, How Tia Lola Came to (Visit) Stay.
But, before we get to that, I invite you to read Julia Alvarez’ guest post below (and peek at photographs from her family album) on a subject very dear and near to all us: familia – particularly, Las Tías! Enjoy!
Introducing (some of) My Tías
I grew up with so many tías, to this day, I don’t even know the final count!
Part of it was that I spent my first ten years in the Dominican Republic where my parents are both from. Back in those days, families could be quite large. My father, for instance, had twenty-four siblings. Okay, before you fall over in your chair, let me explain that there were two wives, but not at the same time. My grandfather’s first wife had ten kids, and then she died. My grandfather married again, and his second wife had fifteen kids. My father was the youngest of all the kids. So imagine how many aunts–thirteen, I believe–just on his side of the family.
The other reason I have so many aunts is that in Hispanic cultures, any close friend of your parents becomes your uncle or aunt. You call them tío or tía. Familias are so important in our cultures that anyone we like, we pull them into the family!
The great thing about tías is that there were dozens of them. You could always find one to talk to about a problem or to help you with a homework assignment. You got raised by all of them, but of course, you had special favorites. This took a lot of pressure off your parents. I know one of the hardest things when we immigrated to this country was that suddenly we turned into a nuclear family: just mami and papi, and my three sisters and me. Papi was busy working, and when Mami was occupied with housework or involved with another sister or in a bad mood, there weren’t any tías to turn to.
Back in the Dominican Republic, we grew up in the extended family. Tías were all around me: aunts and uncles lived in side by side houses with my grandparents, Mamita and Papito, in the big house down the street. Every Sunday, our extended familia gathered at my grandparents’ house for dinner. It was a huge party. And part of the fun was getting to visit with some of my favorite aunts.
So, I’d like to invite you over to one of those old-time Sunday gatherings and introduce you to some of my favorite tías. But let me say right off that I mean no offense to aunts I don’t introduce, because really we could be here for a whole week, not just this one pretend Sunday. As I said, I still don’t have a final count, but I’m sure that whenever I do, one more aunt will pop out of the woodwork and say, “¿Y qué? Did you forget about me? Aren’t you going to introduce me to your friends?”
First, I’d like to introduce you to my aunt Tití. That’s what we called her Tití, not Tía Tití, because she was so young. She seemed more like an older cousin than like an aunt.. She was always reading. She was the only person I ever saw purposely pick up a book to have fun. My grandmother used to say that no man would ever marry her if she kept on reading. Well, Tití did end up marrying, but even better, she kept on reading. To this day, she is one of my favorite people to talk to about books.
Another tía who lived to be 103 years old was Tía Amantina. She was actually a great aunt, my grandmother’s “baby sister.” Tía Amantina was a tomboy old lady, if you can imagine that. She was always dressed in a jogging suit and wore tiny sneakers. She had dainty feet. In her eighties, Tía Amantina went off to Paris to live in a dormitory and learn how to speak French. She taught me to stay young no matter how old you are, a lesson I appreciate more and more the older I get. On her 101st birthday, we decided to crown her Queen Amantina.
Another aunt, Tía Amelia, was also my godmother. Her family was poor, but Tía Amelia was very beautiful, and a rich man married her. Sadly, he died young, and Tía Amelia was left a rich widow with a big mansion, where she lived all by herself. What am I saying? She didn’t live alone at all. She had a dozen servants, and a priest came every day to say mass in her little chapel downstairs. Saturdays, when Tía Amelia was not traveling around the world, she’d send her chauffeur over in her big black car to pick me up, so I could spend the day at her house. She had a swimming pool and a park-size garden to play in with bushes pruned in the shapes of animals (where I got the idea for Tía Lola doing this to bushes in Vermont) and an enormous house with the dining room on the second floor and the kitchen down on the ground floor. Meal times, Tía Amelia would explain that the dumb waiter would be bringing up the food. I’d wait and wait for a big, tall, stupid-looking fellow to come up the stairs. But all that ever happened was that the serving maid opened a small cabinet door on the wall, yanked on a pulley, and up came a tray with our lunch. I don’t want to sound ungrateful, but it was just an okay day at my godmother’s house. There was no one to splash around with in the swimming pool, no one to chase in the garden, no one to sneak into the chapel with me to play with Tía Amelia’s rack of rosaries. So the best part of the whole day was getting back home and telling my sisters and my next door cousins about the amazingly fabulous day I had spent at Tía Amelia’s house.
Next, I’d like you to meet my tía Idalita. She was my party aunt. There was nothing Tía Idalita loved more than seeing everyone have a good time. She’d pull people onto the dance floor, the shy ones, the awkward ones, and by the end of the party, everyone was dancing like pros. Good days, bad days, Tía Idalita was in a good mood, smiling, and asking how you were doing. Sometimes I would complain about this, that, or the other. Now, when I think back on how big her problems must have been, living in a dictatorship with friends who had been arrested, and how small my problems were (I wanted a toy my mother wouldn’t get for me, my baby sister wouldn’t let me have a turn on the swings, one of my cousins wouldn’t tell me the secret she’d told my older sister), I think, wow! That smile was an act of strength. Under much less difficult circumstances, I try to face each day with Tía Idalita’s and Tía Lola’s golden rule in mind. That’s the only way you can ever pay back nice things in your life, by passing them on. That’s something my Tía Idalita taught me.
If I had to pick the one aunt who was the most like Tía Lola, sassy and magical and full of life, it would have to be my Tía Lulú. I loved to visit with her, because she told the best stories. And her laugh was infectious. You shared a problem with her, and somehow, just talking to her, you felt better. When we first came to the United States, Tía Lulú had preceded us. It was like having a little bit of the old country still close by.
Finally, I’d like to introduce you to the aunt who was like a second mother to my sisters and me, Tía Rosa, whom we called Lala. She was a great cook. After my grandparents died, it was Lala who took up the tradition of Sunday dinners at her house. Sometimes there were a dozen, sometimes almost sixty of us. And there was always enough food. Lala was also a great listener. She gave you the sense that she had all the time in the world, just for you. When we were children, growing up in the Dominican Republic, she lived next door to us. Like Tía Lola, Tía Rosa always had fun projects for us to do. I remember the summer the whole extended family moved out to a big house on the beach that belonged to my grandfather. (The city was so hot that July and August; everyone feared that the heat would bring on diseases.) It rained and rained and rained for days. There must have been a dozen cousins underfoot, and we were all starting to get on our mothers’ nerves. Well, Lala told us there was a way to make the sun come out, an ancient magical spell she was going to teach us. She rigged up a big stone with a ring around it on a rope and hung it from the roof of the wraparound porch. We all held hands and chanted:
San Isidro, labrador
quita el agua
pon el sol
Saint Isidro, worker,
take away the rain
bring on the sun.
Round and round we went. But still, it kept raining. “It’s not working!” we’d complain. But Tía Rosa, who was in the circle, chanting right along with us, said the sky was far away from earth, we just had to persist and chant a little louder. Finally, we were all dizzy, hoarse, and bored. Anything but chanting around a hanging stone sounded like fun to us. We ended up in the screened-in porch, playing Canasta, Bingo, and dominoes, quiet, lazy games. By mid-afternoon, when the sun peeped out from behind the clouds, the mass of cousins rushed upstairs to get into our swimsuits and dash down to the beach, Tía Rosa was ready in her black swimsuit and kerchief. We all claimed credit for that sunny afternoon. Tía Rosa died two years ago, while I was working on the second Tía Lola book. That’s why it’s dedicated to her. I still miss her.
I think I better stop, so we can all go down to Sunday dinner!
Photographs courtesy of Julia Alvarez and Bill Eichner
© 2010 by Julia Alvarez
The Giveaway
Two lucky winners can win one set each of the first two books in the Tia Lola Stories. To enter this giveaway, please tells us about your Tía(s)…
This giveaway ends at midnight EST on Sunday, Oct. 31, 2010. Entries/Comments that do not follow the submission guidelines will be invalid and automatically deleted. Sorry, just need to keep it fair. Good luck to all!
My tia and my mom were inseparable. Everytime my mom moved, my tia moved next door. So, it was really like having two moms. And instead of one sister, my two cousins were like sisters as well. It was an extended family with plenty of adult supervision, love and traditions kept. We were always together, vacationed together and went everywhere together. My tia was warmth, generosity and kindness. She was about culture and holiday celebrations.
bgcchs(at)yahoo(dot)com
Where do I begin? I have 5 and they are all very unique in their own way…
Let’s go from oldest to youngest, four of which still live in the Dominican Republic:
Tia Fefa (Josefa) – the head of all the women, the one who never takes a sick day, has every ailment in the book, and has the best sense of humor
Tia Yaya (Eulalia): The one who loves children but never got married, became a “capitan” in the police force of her town, was kidnapped, drugged and ended up on a morning talk show which is how she was found (she’s ok they just robbed her of anything she had on her)
Tia Rosa (Erminia): The one who got married but hates children (except for mine thank God!), is always grumpy, barely laughs, is sharper than she leads on, and is painfully blunt (love that about her!)
Tia Flora (Maria Afrodita): My second mother figure. I used to stay at her house when I was younger and my parents would go to Atlantic City for the weekend. The one who showed me how to make popcorn, who make sure I ate (even if I was not hungry) because she said I was too skinny and needed some meat on my bones.
and finally
Tia Carmen (just Carmen, no nickname lol): The youngest of the bunch, free spirited, has always lived right next door to my grandmother, lives in the “campo” and still talks with the “i” (if you’re Dominican you know what I mean (comai, vamo a vei, poique, etc.)
Each one of these women (and my mother) have shaped me to become the woman I am today…so for all of they’re differences and similiraties I am very greatful and I love them all dearly!
Yaskara (aka Yaskarita as they all like to call me even though I am almost 30)
My tias were these great women that showed us what my mom didn’t. My mom has always worked two jobs and was not with us even though she provided everything our heart desired. My tia Chela, she was the one that always remembered our birhtday’s she would bake a cake for us and invite us over for a small get together and she alwyas had a gift for us. My tia Chilo, was my mom’s sister she was very creyida(sp), she showed us about dressing fashionably and looking your best. hair and makeup always looked perfect. Her house also was a fun place to be she had cable. those were my two tia’s i have the most memories with all the rest of my tias lived in Mexico when we were growing up and we rarely ever saw them
Yours is not unlike my story. My paternal grandparents, who were both born in the 19th century, had 13 children, 12 of whom reached adulthood. My father was the youngest. Most of them are still alive, not surprising as my grandfather lived to be 104. Most have eccentric personalities and among them are a painter, a doctor, a nurse, a schoolteacher, a farmer, a nun, a social worker/lawyer and other diverse occupations and talents. I did not meet all of them, and one was killed in the war when my father was still a little boy. In contrast, my mother only has one brother and one sister. This tía is also my godmother, but I also consider my mother’s cousins as tías. These extended families come together for most celebrations and we remain close even after some of us moved away from the Caribbean.
I love all my aunties (too many to count!!) but my favorite was my Tia Segunda, my dads aunty so she was actually my second aunty. We loved going to her house, the smell of her, the smell of her cooking, her biscuits… Always friendly. Loved kids but never had any but she loved us. My daughters are growing up without aunts and we have taken up calling all our friends ants!! They love it and my girls do too!
Well, I am not Hispanic, but of course I have tias!
I spent more time with the tias on my dad’s side of the family. Aunt Lynn and Aunt Cati especially could always make me laugh and laugh. I love to spend time with them now that I am grown because they help me to remember that I will make it through this stage with young children, all the demands on my time. I also admire my tias because they have pursued their passions. They are writers and artists and women who give of their time to others. I wish I lived closer to them now; I would love to be able to pop over and talk about our lives day to day. I’m so so grateful that I had them around me while I was growing up.
I remember until this very day, I always loved Titi Alicia. She is so special and so sweet. I carry her in my heart. She lives in NY but is finally in Puerto Rico. Titi Alicia has always been an inspiration to me. Her heart is amazing. She loves beyond measure.
Your stories bring comfort to my mind and soul. Thank you for such an awesome talent! <3<3<3 My favorite writings is by far, 'How the Garcia Girls Lost thier Accents'. and 'Time of the Butterflies'. Love them!
nAvInToS
I have both a set of American Aunties and Bolivian Tias from my exchange student year back in 1991-1992. My tias may not all be blood relatives, but I have found that sometimes the kind of care and love a tia can provide does not necessarily mean blood ties. In fact, in so many ways, my relationships with my tias in Bolivia are even warmer and more comfortable than the relatives on my family tree. Tia Rita, Tia Norma, and Tia Blanca are always ready with a smile and a hug, even thousands of miles away. I know I could show up on their doorstep tomorrow and be welcomed as if I was just there yesterday instead of 19 years ago.
One of my favorite Tias growing up was my Tia Connie. She always spoiled me WAY more than I should have been and got me cute clothes, makeup, etc. Plus I always got to hang just with her. She didn’t have children at the time so I think I was sort of like a daughter to her.
My favorite tias were my tia Minnie and Sybil. Minnie was a flapper in the 1920′s and I loved to have her do the Charleston for me. Sybil was a farmer and never married. I thought she was a tio for many years because she always wore pants.
I am from a very small family, so growing up…I had only 2 tias, who both lived in different cities. Tia Polly has that magical ability to give the perfect gift–something you never thought of but can’t imagine life without once you have it. She is warm, bubbly, always pushing to get the family together, and I ALWAYS loved heading to Michigan to stay with her. Tia Maxine was a non-nonsense, industrious sort of person. But since she taught elementary school, she always knew how to break through the awkwardness I felt and make me have fun at her house. She and tio also had (and still have!) a pool where I spent many summers pretending to be a mermaid.
I’m sad to say I only have 2 tias and neither one were very involved in our lives. I see stories like yours and long to have that in my life !!
Because I missed out I have always tried to be the very best auntie and am very close with mis sobrinos.
I would love these books for my grandkids who have MANY tias. Thanks for the chance
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