Dear Mija,
When your daddy and I got married we wrote our own vows. Vows are kind of like promises that are deeply personal, but you say in front of family and friends at a wedding. On that day in my white dress and lace veil, holding your dad’s hand, I told him:
I promise to respect your heritage and your culture and one day teach our children about the beauty found in our differences.
We made lots of promises that day and we’re learning what it means to live those out. But by far this is the promise that I sometimes struggle with. And now that you’re coming in a few months I often wonder how I will teach you about your two cultures and the beauty found in our differences.
I know that I will teach you how to make pancakes and ponche. And we will probably have wheat bread and tortillas on the table.
You will learn how to say con permiso before entering someone’s house and muchas gracias before leaving the table. I will probably always call you mija and ask you “¿que te pasó?” when your eyes fill up with tears because some words just sound better in Spanish.
I will teach you about playing with bubbles, baking chocolate chip cookies and reading bedtime stories. Your daddy will probably let you ride on the back of his motorcycle and show you how to play with fireworks. I told him he has to at least wait until your 5, but kids in Guatemala get introduced to fireworks before they can walk.
I will teach you how to do puzzles and will probably make flashcards and fun games and sticker charts for you. Your daddy already imagines taking you to soccer games. He’s convinced you will wear a Messi jersey and always root for Barca, just like him.
I will do my best to teach you about George Washington and Justo Rufino Barrios. We will celebrate July 4th and el 15 de Septiembre. You will learn about history from U.S. published textbooks, but also from the people; from Mayan men and women who lived through a horrible civil war that has not made it into many of the textbooks just yet.
I will show you how to dig for sand crabs at the beach and run barefoot through the sprinklers in the grass because those were some of my favorite memories when I was in a little girl in California. Your daddy tells me that he’s going to take you to work with him. He’ll teach you what a hammer is and what size clavos you have to use. And how you can mix cement without a fancy machine. He’ll show you how to work hard and sweat because that’s what his Dad showed him.
Our house will be filled with “te amo” and “please” and “¿por qué? Even though your daddy and I are going to try really hard to be consistent, many of our sentences come out in Spanglish. “Mi amor, hand me the pan porfa.” You will know when we’re angry because we usually argue in English, but Spanish is still the language of love.
I’m pretty sure your grandma will teach you how to make apple pie and your abuelita will teach you how to make tamalitos. I don’t know how to make either, but I can teach you how to make the best banana muffins with chocolate chips, of course. Your grandma will take you shopping at Nordstrom and probably buy you the cutest little outfit when we go to visit. Your abuelita will most likely make you a huipil and corte with beautiful hand-woven colors because that’s what Mayan Guatemalan girls wear.
Mija, our hope is that you will feel at home in two worlds and eventually with two languages. We live in a nice house in Guatemala with a computer, washing machine and enough igagdets for a small country. Once in a while we may go to fancy restaurants with cloth napkins and drinks that have little umbrellas resting on the glass. And we may visit beautiful hotels with big swimming pools and stunning views. Those are fun parts of life and we will enjoy them as a family. But we will also spend time with friends who have a dirt floor and a house made of dried corn stalks. We will sit on plastic bancos around a wooden table and probably eat caldo in the heat of the day. We will drink Pepsi and use the pila to wash our dishes when we’re done. We will do both because this is where we come from and who we are. And we believe there is beauty in both.
And you, my daughter will be both as well. Not either or. You will not be half-estadounidense and half-Guatemalan. And I don’t believe you will feel like a gringa living in Guatemala. No, you’ll be one-hundred percent, YOU.
As you grow and ask questions and develop your own identity, my hope is that you too will come to see the beauty in our differences.
And mija, may you come to know that you are a reflection of them both.
I can’t wait to meet you.
Love,
Momma
(Mija is a Spanish word that literally means “my daughter.” It’s actually written “mi hija.” But when said quickly together it sounds like “mija” and it is said with endearment, kind of like sweetie or sweetheart in English. Female teachers often use it with little girl students. Mijo being the equivalent for little boys.It happens to be one of my favorite Spanish words.)
{Photo by Dave Christenson}
Michelle, As I read this and tears flowed down my cheeks I have a picture of a God centered couple that love life and will be blessed with a beautiful baby girl whom will be loved by all around. You write about both cultures so eloquently it takes you to the warm place of Guatemala filled with love and acceptance. Thank you for sharing my sweet friend!
Robin
Thanks Robin. Yes, that is my hope…to reflect the beauty of both cultures in our lives and in our daughters. Thank you for your kind words.
Beautiful letter! Your daughter is blessed to have such a smart mami. Your words describe so eloquently how I feel that I could not hold my tears as I read them.
Thank you!
Thank you Reyna. I love meeting and knowing other mamas out there who are raising bilcultural and bilingual kids.
Michelle, this letter is so beautiful and gives me a better glimpse at your life in Guatamela. Thank you for blessing us with your words. Can’t wait to see photos of that baby girl!
Thank you Lesley.
Wow, I am so glad that I stumbled upon this letter. You do have a gift for words, Michelle. And from your message to your little one, it is clear you possess a gift for motherhood too. Congratulations, it is an amazing blessing to have a daughter. Enjoy every minute!
Robert, thank you for such a kind compliment. I’m so not sure yet about the motherhood part….give me a few months and I will let you know.
This is soooo beautiful. LOVE it! Wish you all the best in this journey so wonderful!
Thank you Yvette.
Que lindas palabras, me alegra que te guste nuestra cultura guatemalteca y que quieras que tu hija la adopte como propia, que pueda jugar a la comidita con tierra o que pueda tener trastecitos de barro, te aseguro que su infacia va ser bella. Felicidades y que Diosito los bendiga como familia y que Tu niña tenga mucha salud y amor alrededor.
Gracias Ana. Si, eso es lo que yo espero tambien, pero me di cuenta que en una forma no puedo controlar como ella adopta las culturas…solo puedo intentar de ensenarle y darle oportunidades, verdad? Me imagino es un proceso. Ud es chapin?
Michelle,
Muchisimas gracias por compartir esta hermosa carta!!!! Me relacciono mucho con tus palabras, y es totalmente cierto lo que dices. “Solo podemos intentar de ensenarles y darle las oportunidades a nuestros hijos, acerca de nuestra cultura Latina.”
Mucha gente no entiende, el porque no le ensenamos hablar el Espanol a nuestros hijos?! Yo digo, no es que no le enseno, es depende de ellos si lo desean o no, hablarlo. Me conformo con tal solo que ellos quieran aprender ciertas palabras, aprender mis tradiciones, etc, etc. Pienso que si los obligo y les esfuerzo a mas, puedan mas bien rechazar. El aprendizaje debe de ser espontaneo, inspirado, para que a su vez nuestra generacion sienta curiosidad de aprender mas.
Gracias.
Love it!!
Very nice!!
MIchelle, you pretty much described how I feel being me. You put into words that hole I feel in my stomach when I think of my life in Mexico and El Salvador and how much I want my daughter to have a glimpse of that and be that.
Thank you for sharing this love letter with us and our readers. It’s truly a gift. Mucha luz para tu familia! In lak´ech
Thank you Ana! I think the hole or burden is always deeper for the parent who doesn’t live in their home culture. I sometimes wonder if our daughter will “know” and “get” things about California even if we never live there. It’s a process right…??? Thankful for new connections and families who are also in the same boat!
Hi Michelle, Thanks so much for this letter! I am practically your neighbor.
I am an American living in Honduras. I have a 3 year old and a 2 month old and you’ve pretty much described my life! My oldest loves his “eggs y beans” or baleadas in the morning, but couldn’t live with out PBJ or los nuggets de pollo! It has been a hard adjustment for me. We live with los suegros because that is how families live here, and I am always wondering if my boys get enough of MY culture. Your letter has reminded me to love it all because that is who my boys are. Thanks again!
P.S. I’d come back to this letter when you feel homesick!
Rachel, thanks so much for your honesty. You’re years ahead of me in this journey….so much to learn and process and enjoy. And I agree for the spouse who is away from their host culture there can be a little more loss or struggle. Please stay in touch!
Beautiful. Welcome to the rollercoaster of fun that is parenthood. It’s an even bigger adventure when it is bicultural and bilingual!
No mention of the babies awesome aunts and most importantly uncles!!! Jk, I might be slightly biased. But a very beautiful letter, written to my beautiful soon-to-be-born niece.
Love ya sis.
I know, I know…maybe uncle and aunts and tios will be included next time around. I would have written “Your uncle with teach you how to play golf and the correct way to swing a baseball bat. He’ll also probably be your tech consultant for any igadget that breaks.”
She’s lucky to have you as an uncle!
Love this letter, Michelle. So perfect! And my daughter is already on her second Messi jersey. She outgrew the one she wore before six months!
Haha. Oh, Sarah….I’m glad someone bought your little chapina a Messi jersey. I found a onsie on ebay with the Barca jersey design. May be Gerber’s birthday gift : )
ay me hiciste llorar! que bonita cartita
what a letter, Michelle, God has given a life to be thankful for, i assume this is chapter 1 of a on going
story, published every 5 years.
looking forward to your future.
Wow, I think of you guys often! I am so proud of you both, this is amazing, hope to meet your little one soon! Beautiful letter Michelle !
Thank you Brenda! Hopefully in October…right? : )
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