One of the main concerns parents raising bilingual children –or considering it– have is what to do when they refuse to speak Spanish (or whichever minority language). We know the bilingual rebellion is pretty much a fact and we’ll all have to face it eventually. For some it starts as early as 3 years of age and for others when the child enters kindergarten, especially if they don’t have the option of a bilingual program like dual or full immersion.
So, what to do once our child refuses to respond or speak in Spanish? For starters, don’t panic and don’t even consider giving up! The best advice is to continue doing what you’re doing and sticking to the method you’ve been using. You’ve already planted the bilingual seed firmly and now it’s just a time to weed out annoying pests and continue showering the seedling with the same sunshine and love it needs to keep on it’s path.
Once you’ve gotten past the initial shock, then step back and figure out ways to motivate your child to speak Spanish. Motivation and immersion are key at this point where the child has figured out the majority language is not the one she’s speaking at home and everyone else responds immediately to her with English. This is when they need to understand and give a meaning to why it’s important for them to learn a second language and emotional connections/motivations are what work best at this stage.
5 Ways to Motivate Your Child to Speak Spanish
#1. Praise, praise, praise! Children aim to please and there’s no one they want to please more than their parents — even though it doesn’t always feel that way, I know! Try to be conscious of when they are speaking Spanish to you and praise them for doing it. The more you praise, the more they will know it’s important to you. However, if we reprimand them for not speaking it, they become rebellious and annoyed and associate Spanish with negative feelings. Also, try not to focus on correcting every grammar or pronunciation mistake they make and instead highlight their effort in speaking.
#2. Playdates and Playgroups. We’ll never get tired of singing the praises of playdates and playgroups with other children who are being raised bilingually. The motivation factor is so high when they can associate the language with a friend they love. Hopefully you can find another parent who has a child the same age and that all can speak Spanish during the playdate. My girl has a couple of friends with whom she mostly speaks Spanish with. I use that emotional connection as a motivational reminder that she needs to speak more Spanish in order to play with them. It’s worked so far.
I also love this idea of a Spanish book club that Roxana is doing.
#3. Music, activities, books and games. Fill your house with games, books, music, movies and activities in Spanish that your child truly enjoys. Give him the choice to choose what he wants to engage with, but all has to be in Spanish. This can be a special time of the day for him and it will a fun, immersive and motivational way to engage in Spanish through that he loves. Even better if you can create a special Spanish nook in your home.
#4. Travel. Yes, we’re aware this isn’t a viable option for all in today’s economy, but the motivation to travel and visit loved ones or just a foreign country is still important. Buy maps or a globe and go to them all the time. Show your child where her heritage is from and where Spanish is spoken. Tell her stories about the important people in your life and hers who live there. Allow her to use her imagination to travel to these places where Spanish is everywhere and motivate her to learn the language so she can travel there soon. If you can pull off an actual immersion trip, there’s no better language motivator than that, especially if visiting family is part of the plan.
#5. Focus on what your child loves. This one would actually fall into any of the four above, but it does merit a mention of its own because we must always make sure that we don’t overwhelm or force our children to do anything. Yet, we can create the ideal environment and activities for them to be constantly motivated to learn and we do that by focusing on what they love to do. My daughter loves to dance and sing, thus, we blast out everything from Shakira to Music with Sara and have impromptu Fiestas all the time. Lately she’s become obsessed with Flamenco and I also introduced her to videos of Argentinean Tango. This has led to us grabbing the globe and teaching her where Spain and Argentina are located and what language is spoken there. Find what your child loves, immerse them in it through Spanish and have a blast together!
What is your top tip to motivate your child to speak Spanish or another language?
{Image by Pratham Books on flickr}
¡Buenas ideas Ana! I specially like number #5. Focus on what your child loves.
I didn’t really think about this one but it really works, my son LOVES playing soccer and I asked his coach from El Salvador to speak Spanish to him whenever he can, for my surprise that made my son feel “special” and I think proud of understanding it. Kids are a box of surprises!
Oh, that´s a great idea! You´re right that it gives them a sense of pride when they are able to have a special connection with certain people, especially if they admire them.
Love love love this!! Did I mention I love this?!
You did…but we love that!
This is such a great article, because I think most bilingual families will reach this hurdle at some point. I wholeheartedly agree that kids need to have peers that speak Spanish- either in a playgroup, at church, classmates. My kids’ friends that speak Spanish seem to motivate them more than anything else sometimes!
You are so lucky that your kids have friends that speak Spanish with them! It´s easy to find a playgroup, but so much harder to make sure the kids speak in Spanish. Every time we´re with kid´s that are bilingual or speak Spanish I tell my girl, “Mira, ella habla español también.” At the very least it gives them some common ground to hold on to!
Yes!!! That just happened yesterday! We had set up a playdate and were trying to encourage the 7 year olds to speak Spanish with each other- it didn’t happen! They told us they only speak Spanish when they don’t want others to understand them, and it was their “secret” language. These Spanish playdates work so much better when there are children who only speak Spanish- when English isn’t an option. There are several families who live by us that only just moved here from Venezuela and Spain, and so far their children are much more comfortable in Spanish. Once they are more immersed in school that might change though!
#4 is great and doable. You don’t have to leave the country to be immersed in Spanish. There are plenty of places in the U.S. with predominately Spanish-speaking neighborhoods. I’m from Miami and you can live your entire life there without ever having to learn English. We go three times a year to visit my family and friends since it’s easier than Colombia where my extended family is
. My kids notice the difference and actually surprise me with their level of Spanish when they are immersed. I know Chicago, Southern California, Texas, New York and others have the same opportunities and can be another lesson in the melting pot that is the U.S.A.
This was such a great article. I am mom to my bicultural baby boy (10 months old). I only speak Spanish to him and his Dad speaks English. But I do worry that he will rebel and that he will prefer English over Spanish since we do not have any friends his age who speak Spanish. These tips were super helpful and I will definitely work on all of them. First thing is to find Spanish speaking friends.
Muchas Gracias,