Photo by "T"eresa
One of the biggest disagreements my mother and I have had over the years is the amount – or lack thereof – of makeup I wear. Whenever she sees me getting ready to go out – no importa donde – her comment is always the same: “Hijita, ¿no te vas a maquillar un poquito?” Thing is, I have put makeup on, just not tons of it.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I don’t like making myself up, but I don’t go all out just to drop-off my daughter at preschool or to pick a gallon of milk at the grocery store before the next big snow storm. But I come from a family of Latina women who wouldn’t be caught dead without makeup or a few canas sin teñir at the corner drugstore. I don’t ever remember seeing mi abuelita, who is 94 years old, without lipstick. She owns one in every hue of pink and she puts it on every single day of her life – even if she’s staying home watching her favorite novelas from her rocking chair because “nunca sabes quien puede venir.”
I guess I’m not very Latina in that sense – and I haven’t even started talking about hair and my inadequacies when it comes to styling it. I have the kind of hair that’s neither straight nor curly. It’s just in between. To be honest, upon moving to Colorado, nothing made me happier than realizing I would no longer need to worry about my hair. After years of suffering in Miami’s horrendously humid weather, I can now wash my hair, apply some gel and go on my merry way – and actually get away with it!
So, imagine my horror when I found out I had given birth to a baby girl three years ago. (It was a surprise. I didn’t want to find out until birth and I was pretty convinced I was having a boy thanks to my so-called ‘maternal instinct’ – so much for that!) I immediately worried about how I would style her hair, especially because she was born with a full set of dark black hair which needed to be trimmed a few weeks after she was born.
My poor daughter pretty much looks the same all the time: a single ponytail or two pigtails using all her hair or part of her hair or – my favorite – no style at all. Unfortunately, this last look usually means her hair is all over the place because she has knots I can’t get near for fear she will start wailing non-stop.
I recently realized just how clumsy I am at all things related to little girl’s hairstyles and how things have not gotten better as my daughter’s hair has gotten longer, as many suggested. We were getting ready to go to a birthday party and I decided I’d go all out and blow dry her hair thinking to myself: “how hard can that possibly be?” After all, unlike me, she has very little, thin hair. Well, I’m embarrassed to say I pretty much failed and she ended up with her hair in a ponytail. (I did manage to put on a nice red bow, at least.)
I actually envy those little girls whose hair looks like an elaborate maze full of vibrant bows and ribbons. Vanessa owns a gazillion of these, but they’re mostly for show.
This topic is pretty trivial, I know, but I hate to think that my daughter looks like an unkept child (because it has nothing to do with that but with her mom’s ineptness). I guess I can’t get away from “el que dirán” – now, that’s VERY Latina-like, don’t you think?
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I’m completely there with you. Mi mami used to say the same thing “ponte un poco de color” when I’d be getting ready. But, I don’t wear makeup at all most days, mostly just when I go out for special occasions, but not to work every day. (The horror!) And my hair is usually in a ponytail…or worse…a bun!
My daughter’s hair is curly so it’s really hard for her to wear it down still with the humidity. She’s always in a ponytail or a braid or pig tails.
Don’t feel bad…we’re just the new wave of Latinas!
.-= Melanie (Modern Mami)´s last blog ..Working Fathers Feel Same Pressure as Working Moms =-.
Hehehe, that’s me I had three sisters and all of them and my mom are all about makeup and stuff. Me on the other hand don’t really care about it. Mi mama was (and it’s still like yours) put some make up on you don’t know who you are going to meet. And now that I am married, put some make up on so your husband is happy with you.
Well what can I do?
I’m not Latina.. My mom has a hard time putting on shoes, let alone make-up. If she does find shoes they are either flip flops or old, ugly sneakers. I try a little harder than that.. but not that much. My husband and his mother and 3 sisters are Hispanic, Mexican. I have never seen his mother without make-up or her hair done, other than once when she was in the hospital, where she would not be caught dead letting any of her daughters boyfriends in the room without her dolled up. She will not even let those now husbands of her daughters in her house, without her hair done and make-up on- they are not allowed in the house before a certain time of day… I am sure they wonder how in the world did their son/brother marry this gringa who hardly finds time to shop, do her hair or buy cute shoes.
From the time my 2 daughters were born all I’ve heard from that side of the family is “oh, you’re not going to pierce their ears?! They would be soo much cuter with earrings.” “wow! She really needs a hair-cut.” “I can’t wait till I have kids… they will be wearing such cute clothes.”- apparently- my kids don’t wear cute enough clothes, have cute enough hair, and would be so much cuter with their ears pierced. What a sin!
Oh well, they live in CA and don’t have to worry about how my kids or me look on a daily basis. I’m sad to admit that when we go out to visit, I always bring my best clothes, get my hair cut and wear make-up and jewelry while I am there…
I lived in Mexico pretty much most of my life, so you can say I’m not a new latina in the fashion sense. I still love to dress up and I truly miss the days I did my make up everyday. But I’m also happy to live in a country where nobody would care if I don’t do my make up when taking my son to school
.-= Silvia´s last blog ..LatiSM Latinos in Social Media =-.
I am so happy to have three boys for this very reason! When my nieces visit, I have discovered this trick to deal with the tangles; maybe it will help. I wash their hair and then plop on a good amount of conditioner. Then I brush it through while the conditioner is still in their hair–it’s like magic! Even after rinsing and drying it, it still is usually pretty tangle-free.
Of course, it doesn’t help with actually styling their hair. That’s still a big challenge!
I think that the “Amorcito, no te vas arreglar un poquito?” is a universal Latina mom saying….I get it from my grandmother and mom all the time. Once my grandmother told me that my pijamas were to casual and I needed to dress up more for my husband at night…I thought this was hilarious. Talk about old school! I even told my husband and he asked, “who does she think I am?” I feel the same way about having to style little girl’s hair also. Fortunately, I have three boys, so if their hair get out of control, I just cut it! I miss you Roxi!
Reynita! You have three boys now, but maybe not for long, no? I think you’re having a girl and then we’ll be in the same boat, ja, ja!!!
Me he reido mucho con tu comentario porque he escuchado cosas muy similares tanto de mi madre como de mi abuelita y tias!!
I miss you too!!!
ja! ja! esta siempre fue la pelea con mi mama
no lipstick or not being all :empaquetada: (all dress up) in puertorriqueno 
I’m glad to know I’m not alone in this! Thanks to all for sharing!
I find it kind of funny how us Latinas, living in the same culture, grow up differently. When I was growing up, it wasn’t a custom to wear makeup. In fact it was almost a “sin” if my mother and I DID wear makeup (I grew up in a VERY strict household and wasn’t allowed to wear any makeup). If my mom and I wore makeup, we would put it on so minimally that we’d try to make it so that it didn’t look like makeup (pretty naturale, of course) when we were around my dad, 99.9% of the time. I even remember when I turned 15 (I was perfectly OK without a quinceanera party), my aunts (my mother’s sisters) gave my dad a hard time about me not using makeup – “aunque sea un poquito”, they’d say. It wasn’t until I went to college that I really began playing with a little makeup, and now I’ve learned a bit more about what some of the general makeup items are. I’ve learned to keep it simple and fresh. I’m not one to go all crazy with “clown” the makeup, as my father would put it, but I’ll experiment with color and create different looks; and yes, I do have days where I’m lazy enough not to wear it (on the weekends if I know I’m simply staying at home); however, if we have company over, I’ll definitely put some makeup on. Why not look presentable, but not in an outrageous manner? But then again, I’m not your typical Latina.
Hola, mi nombre es Ana, vi tu blog en Bilingual in the Boonies y me preguntaba si podria hacer un Review de tu blog en el futuro. Estoy trabajando en una seccion llamada “We are Latinas” con el objetivo de destacar un blog de una Latina a la semana.
Te parece?
Hola Ana!
Claro que sí. Nos encantaría. Nos puedes contactar a madre{at}spanglishbaby{dot}com y platicamos mejor.
Gracias!