Recently, Roxana asked “Is it Wrong for Bilingual Children in the US to Learn Spanish before English?” Among the comments on SpanglishBaby’s Facebook page, one comment particularly struck me… a fellow SpanglishBaby contributor Suzanne Mateus, said “the controversy is particularly sensitive when the children come from working class homes.” Suzanne makes a great point. People’s reaction to a parent speaking to her child in Spanish (or any other minority language) might vary depending on their perceptions of who you are.
When you’re a Hispanic mom talking to your child in Spanish, many people assume you are doing so because you don’t speak English. When I speak to Enzo in Spanish, and then conduct transactions in perfect English, people don’t know what “box” to put me in. Where is she from? Is she American? Is she an immigrant? Is she rich? Is she poor? Why is she speaking to her son in Spanish?
If people think you’re a recently arrived immigrant, the thought seems to be “Why can’t you learn English?” or “You’re ruining your child’s life because now the kid won’t learn proper English.”
Once you’re seen as a professional, attitudes change. You start hearing things like “Oh he’s bilingual? What a wonderful gift you’re giving him.” Or “How amazing that he can understand and speak in all those languages. That’s going to help him when he’s in school.” Or “He will have many wonderful opportunities.” It seems society says it’s great to want your children to be bilingual if you are rich, but it’s a hindrance if you are poor or an immigrant.
This point is illustrated in this quote by American linguist J.A. Fishman, which my friend Annabelle from PiriPiri Lexicon shares on her blog about raising multilingual children:
“Many Americans have long been of the opinion that bilingualism is ‘a good thing’ if it was acquired via travel (preferably to Paris) or via formal education (preferably at Harvard) but that it is a ‘bad thing’ if it was acquired from one’s immigrant parents or grandparents.”
In toddler classes I have attended, many monolingual parents hire Spanish (or other language) speaking nannies so that their children can be exposed to another language. I have actually encountered children who have become fluent in Spanish by having a Spanish-speaking childcare provider. These parents are usually lauded for their efforts (and dollars!) to expose their children to other languages.
Today, children’s language classes are booming (and they can be quite expensive!) Are we saying it is OK for wealthy parents to spend money to have their children become bilingual, but it’s not OK for parents with lesser means to speak their language to their children?
Parents from any socio-economic status who decide to raise bilingual children are giving their children a great gift, a gift that money alone can not buy; because no number of hours at a language school can equal the richness of speaking and learning a language 24/7, with all its intricacies and the culture that is attached to it. Parents who have embarked on this journey should feel happy about the advantages and opportunities they are giving their children.
I hope that our country recognizes the benefits of bilingualism, and immigrants (both newly arrived and second or third generation) parents do not get discouraged by remarks or ” looks” thrown their way.
The truth is being bilingual gives individuals a competitive advantage. It really doesn’t matter to me if someone gives me a look or just wonders why I’m speaking to my child in Spanish, or if they assume I don’t speak English. Criticizing is easy. Raising a multilingual child requires dedication, commitment and hard work.
{Photo by Clearwater Public Library System Photos}
Love it!
I really love the analysis. I ofte experience this when I’m in a store and people see me speaking to my daughter in spanish and then speak to them in english. Some times a curious person will ask if she (my daughter) understands english also. Or they will be surprised when she turns and says hi, or coments on what she is going to eat.
My daughter is 3 and she is fluent in both languages at this point. Where we live there are no bilingual schools so all her knowledge has come from the time we spent at home teaching her. And we are very proud and are willing to work hard to give this gift to her, more valuable than any expensive school or college.
I really think it’s a shame when I see second or third generation of hispanics born in this country who lost their parents and grandparents language, because of the oportunities that the will miss because of this.
I don’t think too many people have a problem with bilingualism. The issue is with people who require special services in Spanish because they don’t speak English.
This actually makes me think of a great book, The Blind Spot: Hidden Biases of Good People. It shows that even many people who think that they are open to difference, when tested in experimental settings actually have a number of ‘blind spots’ which lead them to have significant in-group out-group biases. This a perfectly normal part of our social evolution as a species, but can be really dangerous in a pluralistic society. It leads to just what Diana is talking about in her interactions, people getting uncomfortable and asking questions if they don’t know which box to put her and her son in. My husband and I have come to call this debriefing. The people we meet and are obliged to immediately debrief we’ve learned are often not interested in us as people, just in checking off classification boxes in their own mind. As a contrast we’ve noticed that many of the international and well traveled individuals we meet don’t find it at all necessary to inquire about the language we speak at home, where we are from or what are our ethnicities, unless we volunteer that information. I assume this is because they are either comfortable with ambiguity or respectful enough to allow us to present ourselves as individuals before trying to label us.
I completley agree there is prejudice as the article implies. My blonde third grade daughter gets so much praise and attention for her ability to speak good Spanish (learned in school). I think (some) look at a young Hispanic child speaking Spanish differently. It’s too bad this is the case, even occasionally. Good article.
This article is very insightful. My daughter and I have a very “bilingual” relationship. We frequently code switch, and when in public, Spanish is my “parental” language. That is, I tend to use Spanish to make sure she is listening to me as her mom. When we interact with others, together or individually, we both use English. We’ve had our share of responses/reactions to our way of communication. English speakers have often praised how well we both speak English, and that is great that we can communicate in both languages. Yet, I often feel the “asombro” that we speak English so well. In fact, couple of weekends ago I heard, from two different people, in very 2 different situations the same praise “your English is good,” which to me implies that it normally wouldn’t be that good for a non-native English speaker. But then, I often feel that our Spanish speaking community also “desconfía de nosotras” when they hear us speak in English. They do not know where to place us, they don’t know how much Spanish we know and with that “qué tan latinas somos.” So, I do think the issue is that bilingualism is not the norm, and most people do not understand what it is or how it works or why someone would choose to use one language (over another).
I think parents need to work equally hard on screening out the “white noise” – many people may have an opinion (especially people who are quick to volunteer their own opinion about how you raise your child, or use your language skills, instead of asking you questions about why you do what you do), but not all opinions are equally informed, or based in research or even based in personal experience. If someone is “surprised” at your skills in English or Spanish, it says more about the limits of their knowledge and experience, and nothing about you. Parents are not obliged to take on board opinions that do not increase their knowledge of how bilingualism works, and what benefits / challenges it brings to their famiy. Ifind a quick smile, or “thank you for your compliment / concern”, is sufficient for people who are really not interested in how bilingualism works for you, or helping you deveop a new understanding of bilingual issues. The local community may be monolingual on the surface, but the global community is not, and that’s one of the reasons why we do what we do for our children.
What a great post, Diana! Thanks for quoting me
It sounds like you and I have had similar experience in raising bilingual kids. I think you are right about peoples reactions. Just because I am American born I am afraid I get judged—who knows! I think people (society at large) need to recognize that there is this language that can be called American Spanish, just like there is Puerto Rican Spanish, Argentine Spanish etc etc
Anyway, if Im ever in NYC with my 3 year old nena lets meet up at a park!
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