Sometimes it sounds like the ideal way to make absolutely sure that your children will grow up speaking Spanish: Hey, let’s move to Latin America. Spanish immersion! Problem solved. Except, of course, it’s not a simple thing to do. There are jobs, families, schooling to consider. Not to mention the fact that if it’s a long-term move, then you shift to worrying about your children keeping up with their English. I can honestly say that it’s not an option for my family, period, for a long list of reasons.
My parents, however, made that move when I was eight. And at first, it was brutal. They started a small business, which took a while to get off the ground. My father took another job. My mother confessed to me years later that she would gaze at airplanes flying overhead and cry. Mostly, I thought it was a big adventure, but there was definitely some major culture shock.
My brother and I went to three different schools in the first three years. And kids proceeded to tease me mercilessly—often about my accent. Though I spoke Spanish when we arrived, it was definitely not my dominant language, and my nickname was Gringa. I particularly remember a time when the girls in my class would come up to me repeatedly and ask me to say borrador, because I couldn’t roll my r’s worth a darn.
I still occasionally get a good-natured ribbing from my Latin American colleagues about my inability to roll my r’s, and since I’m older, wiser and no longer in high school, I can laugh about it and it’s all in good fun. But when it comes to real teasing, or mean comments about someone’s accent, I have no patience for that. Neither did my father. He had a very thick American accent, but his Spanish was excellent. He regularly read El Código del Trabajo in his office, he read two major Costa Rican papers every day and was my go-to guy when I wanted in-depth information on current events. Whenever someone made a snarky comment about his accent, he would flat-out tell them they were being rude.
I hadn’t thought much about my children’s accents until our last trip to Costa Rica. I had never, ever noticed that when Primo says sí, he pronounces it “sí-a.” The (older) children of a family friend picked up on it immediately and couldn’t let it go. Why does he say it that way? Has he always said it that way? Listen, he said it again. I tried to provide gentle explanations. That’s just how he says it. His teachers and friends at school speak English.
I guess it’s never been an issue here. The way I see it, if my boys grow up speaking Spanish fluently, I’ll be thrilled—who cares about their accent? Since Spanish is the minority language here, most people find the fact that my boys can speak it kind of charming. Their accent will be a part of who they are, just as my accent is a part of who I am, of my upbringing, my circumstances, my life experience.
If they’re teased about it, I suppose I’ll deal with it the way I did with my friend’s kids, by taking the chance to explain and educate. Or I could follow the example of my master teacher when I was a student teacher in her sixth-grade class. One of the English speakers in the class made a comment about one of the Spanish speakers, who hadn’t learned too much English yet. The teacher took him to task, and concluded by saying, “When YOU learn to speak two languages, THEN you can tease him about his accent. How’s that?”
Amen.
I have a similar problem… in the oposite direction. Born and raised in Venezuela, when I speak english the accent is there. My two daughters, bilingual kids born and raised in Miami, have become my teachers. Some nights, at bedtime reading, they will correct a word with a smiles. Somehow, the same smile I use for them when I guide them into spanish. Bottom line: you can have two languages, two accents and an open heart to who you are. Thanks for your post, Kimberly.
Thanks for the comment! I love that your daughters are your teachers.
I think it’s inevitable that kids tease, and unfortunately some people never seem to grow up, either. It’s tough being different but I would never go back and change it. If we’re in that position we get the opportunity to work through some important lessons in life survival while our parents are right there to help us through. I feel sorrier for people who actually fit in perfectly with the Middle-School crowd, and have no clue. As adults later on, when something totally arbritrary, unfair, and painful rocks their world (as it eventually will) they are like lambs before wolves.
Interesting point! I agree that dealing with the teasing early on made it easier for me to laugh it off later.
Thanks for your post Kimberly. I have the same problem in the opposite direction too, my first language is Spanish and I learned English as a teenager. I went to college in the USA, got bachelor and master degrees and still have “a Spanish accent”. I never bothered to get rid of the accent by taking accent reduction classes and luckily I’ve been very successful despite that.
Like Beth noted, the adults that never seem to grow up are the ones that stare at me when I speak. I’m pretty sure I was denied job offers because of the accent, but I truly never gave it a second thought and always managed to land some other job that valued my technical skills and experience.
Edna, it’s interesting–I’m an interpreter and I’ve had people assume that I must be a great interpreter because I don’t have an accent when I speak English, or that my native Spanish-speaking colleagues must be better than I am because they do have an accent. Amazing how some people will assume things based on an accent!
Like Beth said: it’s inevitable that kids tease, but when they get older they start to correct your pronutation instead of teasing… That is my case. I am working on my accent, but Spanish is my first language and it is something that I have to live with,, and live happy… Actually I do have some issues with my youngest son in terms of Grammatic and Spelling in Spanish. That is our world. Spanglisg Babies, Spanglish World. Very interesting issue.
Great post! I love your story and the moral given here. There is a lot of teasing that goes on when it comes to accents, even between adults. My husband has dyslexia and it’s often made pronunciation difficult for him. Since he was a child he’s been teased, even by his parents, and it’s always made language difficult for him…both in English and Spanish. Many people automatically assume that he’s unintelligent or their just flat out rude like you mentioned here. I like your father’s policy! You’re most definitely right that it’s something that shouldn’t be tolerated…and good going on the part of that teacher! Thanks for sharing your story with us.
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