The following is a guest post by Señora López and is part of the Your Bicultural Holiday Traditions series.
López boys watching the snow fall
Keeping traditions alive in the Familia López poses a unique challenge. I am an Anglo-American, born and raised in the United States with both my father’s Jewish traditions and my mother’s Protestant ones. My husband is Latino, raised in a muy Católico household in El Salvador.
As a result, our niños play dreidel on Hanukkah, sing Las Mañanitas to the Virgin of Guadalupe accompanied by Mariachi, and always make sure to leave cookies for Santa Claus on Christmas Eve.
But even with a mutual respect and love for each others culture, language, and traditions, there are still times when we find ourselves in a pickle when deciding which traditions to pass onto our children. Christmas time is a particularly complex dance between worlds.
Do we attend midnight Spanish language Catholic mass on Christmas Eve or English language Christmas Day sunrise service at a Protestant church? (Or both while consuming mass quantities of caffeine to stay awake?) For Christmas dinner do we eat ham or tamales? (Maybe tamales de puerco?)
Over the years we have had to learn to compromise, appreciate, love, (and yes, sometimes laugh at), each others traditions as we share them with our children.
For example, last year we participated in the uniquely Latin American tradition of Las Posadas with the local Latino community. The kids had fun escorting a statue of Maria and José door-to-door asking for lodging but it reminded me of the fairy tale of the Three Little Pigs, except Mary and Joseph didn’t threaten to “huff and puff and blow your house down” like the Big Bad Wolf. (Sacrilegious, I know.)
And my Salvadoran husband has always been baffled by the carrots the children leave out on the patio for Santa’s reindeer on Christmas Eve. (As if that weren’t bad enough, he has to then watch his peculiar gringa wife run outside into the snow in her bare feet after putting the children to bed, to nibble the carrots and make them look half-eaten.)
Many traditions can seem strange if they aren’t the ones you grew up with. The blessing of this lifestyle is that trying to give your children the best of both worlds teaches them to be adventurous, curious, and eager to try new things. These are great qualities! (Until they’re teenagers, then perhaps you’ll feel differently.)
For others finding themselves trying to straddle two different cultures, here are a few tips to guarantee your familia is in a harmonious holiday spirit.
#1. Sit down with your spouse and make a list of traditions that are important to each of you.
#2. If any of the traditions directly conflicts with another, talk it out to find a compromise or agree to alternate each year.
#3. Don’t forget the specialness that can be found in making new traditions! Some ideas: Build a snowman as a family, volunteer at a soup kitchen, go sledding, decorate the tree together, drive around and look at the lights in the neighborhood, do a puzzle on Christmas Eve, have cinnamon rolls or another special breakfast on Christmas morning, buy a family ornament to add to the tree, and/or try a new cookie recipe each year along with the traditional favorites.
And here is one tradition my husband and I definitely agree on: Kissing under the mistletoe.
iBesos!
Señora López
Señora López is an (as of yet unpublished), American writer of multicultural fiction. When she’s not writing, she’s reading or getting into some sort of I Love Lucy-esque trouble. Her other passions include human rights, travel, and Hawaiian pizza with curry powder. She and her husband are both bilingual and proud to be bringing up two Spanglish speaking boys. Feel free to visit her at Latina-ish.
Now it’s your turn. How do you merge two or more cultures into your holiday traditions? Any tips?
Your Bicultural Holiday Traditions continues tomorrow with a story from Melissa, Mis Hijos También, who reminisces about Christmas time spent visiting her abuela in Puerto Rico, and how she’s keeping her alive through the foods and traditions she lovingly passed down. Make sure you’re subscribed to our feed either by RSS or email so you don’t miss a beat.
“…adventurous, curious, and eager to try new things.”
Amen, Señora!
What I wish is that I could also give my daughter a dozen cousins to hang with during the holidays…That’s a tradition from my childhood I so wish she could experience…ah, well.
Happy Holidays to you and your familia.
.-= Carrie_in_TN´s last blog ..Plugging Nashville’s Heart and Do-Gooders =-.
Great article! I love your tips. We have the same challenges of combining two cultures (in our case Mexican and American) for our holiday traditions. What fortunate children we have to grow up learning about and appreciating two cultures.
.-= Adriana´s last blog ..Christmas Math- Mazes =-.
I love your tips, and you are right my husband and I need to sit and decide which traditions we would like to pass to our children, so far, no much conflict, my husband is American and I am mexican, both catholics. But still traditions are a little different, I just wish we have more family around us to start posadas in December!
.-= Silvia´s last blog ..Ponche de Navidad / Traditional Mexican Christmas Punch =-.
I was enjoying your Christmas traditions, until you decided to deliberately be sacrilegious to the Catholic Faith. I was very disappointed! What is Christmas anyway?! It is the Birth of Our Lord Jesus Christ! And if this beautiful story reminded you of the three little pigs, than you have no understanding of this unique, blessed and very real event in the history of mankind. I hope that you apologize for your blasphemous comparison, otherwise I shall begin a campaign to boycott your blog.
I´m sorry you felt offended. This is only a personal view point freely expressed by Sra. López as a comparison to her kid´s experience of participating in a Posada and knocking from door to door. Not comparing the birth of Jesus to a fairy tale, just illustrating a story that came to her mind during that moment.
I think it´s beautiful she´s making a real effort to combine both her and her husband´s religious traditions and pass them down to her children.
In any case, we ask that no threats be made to anyone via our blog. This is a place for community and sharing our common goal to raise bilingual and bicultural children, in any faith.
We respect your opinions and those of your faith. Please, no threats.
I apologize if it sounded like a threat. I am not threatening anyone with violence, but with boycotting their writings if they so chose to openly offend the Catholic Faith. Many people are careful not to offend other religions for fear of retaliation, but it seems that no one cares when the Catholic Faith is trampled on. I don’t believe a comparison of any kind could be drawn between that Holy Night and the three little pigs… none.
I’m offended that you presume to speak for all Catholics. That place is occupied by someone and it’s not you. It’s very disrespectful of you.
Aren’t you a little late, darling?…..
Did you know that Catholic means universal? So if you are Catholic, our faith IS the same and universal. If you side with Mrs. Lopez’s views, that’s your business. And, by the way, Our Lord TOLD us to go a preach, not to shy away from our faith.
Elba I don’t think there is a time limit for me as part of this community the same as anyone else to tell you I have the right to ask you not to speak for me. There are many Catholics, many Christians who are not Catholic, and many people who are not even Christians, who spriritually and reverently observe traditions around the birth of Jesus including the story behind the Posadas, and we can do it together, and with a smile on our faces. I value this blog and would simply like to state that I found the author’s comment about the three pigs story somewhat clumsily said, but I was not offended. From a child’s point of view many kids certainly see comparisons in many stories they hear from different sources. That does not invalidate or diminish the Posadas meaning for me. If you read the rest of the author’s post you can see they work hard to make Christmas a spiritual experience for their children. I appreciate them for their sharing this intimate slice of their lives with us and do not feel there was some big attack on Catholocism or Protestantism.
I beg to disagree with you. Yes, you are correct that many protestants may observe posadas, but if we are drawing comparisons between a fairy tale to the actual events that happened more than 2000 years ago, then we are doing a disservice to our children. I know the author didn’t mean to offend anyone by her comments and I too enjoy this blog, however, I can’t in good conscience accept such comments, which are offensive to God. If we recall, the reason why Jesus, the Son of God, came to earth in the first place was for very serious business, and that was to SAVE US from sin, to open the gates of heaven for those who wanted to attain such heights. The story of the birth of Our Lord IS SACRED, and it can certainly be told to children without belittling the importance of the event.
I don’t mean to give you a lesson in Church History, but unfortunately since the daring changes that took place after the pastoral Vatican Council II, the church has experienced a decline in everything from vocations, faith and faithful, morals, etc., all in the name of ecumenism. And what of our faith? Shall we allow God’s only Son’s sacrifice to go in vain? Should we not defend our faith when we see it trampled on?
Again, I know the author meant no harm, but the opportunity presented itself to defend my faith, the way I understand it. Thank you.
Our family will start the Posada’s tonight. For us however, it is not just some cute little “experience” to make us feel more Latino. We are Catholic, and take this reenactment of Mary and Joseph searching for an Inn as part of our faith. We use these nine nights to say a novena prayer and prepare our hearts for the coming of the Christ Child. Songs are sung in honor of this wearisome jornada and a Rosary is prayed. I agree with Ms. Unzueta above! Why would someone publish a statement comparing the Posada’s to the Three Little Pigs? It boggles my mind, especially in this day and age when we are expected to be so politically correct. Seriously, it was an unintelligent thing to publish. The author of the post may think it’s cute to mix and match traditions without stopping to think about what they really mean, but to those of us who actually believe in these things… Well, it ain’t cute honey!
Great ideas Sra. Lopez! I too have a mixed family that enjoys tamales and midnight Mass, along with leaving Oreos, milk, and carrots for Santa and his reindeer. You made me smile and laugh with your obviously real and tender love for this holiday and your family. I was quite surprised at the negative comments, as these ladies are getting angry and making rude comments (“unintelligent, without stopping to think”) and pointless threats (“apologize NOW or I (um, who?) will BOYCOTT your blog!”) at one mothers thought, retold in a humorous and light manner. Your story was fun and helpful and I thoroughly enjoyed it, and I hope to see more of your writings here soon! One last thought, maybe these ladies might try to be a bit more kind and loving as an example of their faith and religion. Happy Holidays!
Mindy,
Thanks for the suggestion for being more kind and loving. Here goes attempt #2:
I was offended at the comparison between the 3 little pigs and Joseph and Marys journey, especially because you stated that it was “sacrilegious”. May God enlighten you and all others with love and understanding, as Jesus Himself said, “Forgive them, for they know not what they do.” Have a Holy Christmas with your families and the Christ Child.
To those who were offended, feel free to boycott my blog, (you wouldn’t like it anyway as the humor is not nearly puritanical in nature.)
I gave this blog post to my husband and a family friend, (an elderly Catholic nun), to read before submitting and they found it hilarious. Lighten up.
Don’t forget that Jesus was a Jew, and Jews have a very self deprecating sense of humor. I’m pretty sure he’s not going to smite me.
.-= Sra. López´s last blog ..SpanglishBaby and TikiTiki =-.
Sra. Lopez,
Like I said, I was enjoying reading your advertures with your children, really. You just did not understand that now a days everyone seems to want to be politically correct toward other religions and other ethnicities, etc., but when it comes to the Catholic religion, people have lacked the same amount of “tolerance” they afford to others.
You made a certain comparison of the Blessed Family to the three little pigs. A while back a certain organization named PETA put huge advertisements in the main streets all over the U.S. with the picture of a pig and a heading which offended Our Lord Jesus Christ and should have offended many Catholics throughout, and one I won’t bother quoting here. Here too I defended my faith, as I do now. I have nothing personally against you and wish you and your family a happy and Holy Christmas. I just wish people with be more respectful of the Catholic Faith, as it is the one God came to institute when he was born to die that Christmas night.
Why does everyone make this out as if it were about Catholics? The article never claimed Catholics are the only ones who believe the story of the Posadas or observe the tradition. And, they aren’t. The author even mentioned part of the family heritage is Protestant. Nothing against Catholicism was said. The “sacrilige” was just as much against Protestants who believe in and observe the Posadas traditions. There are many, many Protestants who do. There is no anti-Catholic sentiment in the article, just some irrereverence about all Christianity, including Protestants. If there is some big anti-Catholic conspiracy out there, this is not part of it.
Dios te bendiga Sra. Lopez. Seriously.
Elba, I would apologize had I felt I had done something wrong, but nothing I said was mean-spirited with the intention to be controversial or inflame others. You can hardly compare my innocent, (and HONEST) analogy with the works of PETA, who are known to purposefully go over the top and offend many people, Catholic and otherwise, to further their message.
As a non-Catholic raised in the United States in the Anglo culture, the Posadas is a “cute” tradition to me, and it reminded me of the also “cute” fairy tale of a wolf going door-to-door asking to be let in. I think it’s adorable. I’m sorry that I don’t find it holy in the way that you do. I don’t know how your church does Las Posadas, but at our church we were giggling and having a good time – Latinos, Anglos, young, old, nuns and even the priest, so I don’t feel I’ve done something wrong with seeing it as fun rather than solemn.
Besides, the history of Las Posadas is not exactly from the times of Christ, as is the case with many Catholic traditions/celebrations, this was a tradition introduced to Latin America by the Catholic church to encourage the indigenous population to convert.
Catholic missionaries requested special permission from Rome to have 9 Christmas Masses, (representing the 9 months of Mary’s pregnancy). This was because of the Aztec 9 day celebration called “Fiestas del Sol” which was coincidentally and conveniently from December 16- 24 and was celebrating the virgin birth of their Sun god, Huitzilopchtli. This new celebration to make conversion easier is what we now know as “Las Posadas”.
.-= Sra. López´s last blog ..SpanglishBaby and TikiTiki =-.
I said it was sacrilegious in jest, I did not believe I was seriously being profane. I’m sorry that you don’t “get” my sense of humor. It’s a shame, because I believe that Jesus Himself had a great sense of humor. Take for instance when He said, “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?” … A plank? I mean, that is such an extreme exaggeration. Yes, sawdust could be in someone’s eye, but not an entire plank of wood. I think that Jesus used humor to drive home his points and make them more memorable. I’ll ask the Father what he thinks of my theory next time I go to Mass. It should make for an interesting conversation.
Feliz Navidad.
Wow, a simple, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offend your belief’s” would have sufficed.
Instead the author became defensive. Now I can clearly see how the “offended” parties feel that when it comes to their faith, people aren’t very conscientious. For example, they hold Jesus, etc.. as being sacred, yet I hear it used as a cuss word all the time in movies, etc.. I’d be pretty sensitive too if someone took people, events, etc.. that I held sacred and joked about them, know what I mean? I think they are just tired of it, and in this case a simple, “Perdon, no fue intencional”, would have probably been enough, minus the self righteousness and defensive stance. I once asked a woman at Trader Joes when she was due, and she was so offended because guess what? She wasn’t pregnant! Ay! Instead of arguing with her and telling her that I only said it because I wanted to be nice and she was quite round in the front so I just assumed… I simply said, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you”, and that was that!
Xochitl – I apologize when I feel that I’ve done something wrong, but when I feel that I have not done something wrong, I stand up for myself. It’s called authenticity.
If anyone should apologize, it should be the women who chose to make such negative comments. I don’t care if they apologize to me but they should apologize to the blog owners. The owners of SpanglishBaby.com tried to do a nice thing here, bringing together like-minded bloggers with fun, helpful, heartwarming articles, and the spirit of it was mucked up by people attacking me.
It’s funny that those who feel Catholicism is not respected, chose to pick a beef with me – someone who left the Protestant church and attends Catholic mass instead, because I felt Catholics were less judgmental and more easy going like me. These people certainly are not representative of most Catholics I have met.
I keep hearing the argument that the Catholic religion is made fun of and that they’re tired of it. Was I the straw that broke the camel’s back? … If you’re angry with actors in Hollywood for saying the Savior’s name in vain, or comedians for making fun of Priests, or organizations like PETA for using Christian symbolism in a sacrilegious way, I encourage you to either grow a thicker skin or direct your complaints at the real “perpetrators”, but to take it out on me since I was a convenient target was rather ridiculous.
Am I defensive? Yes, I am, because I took the time to write what I thought was a nice, helpful, sweet article, only to have people call me names as if I’m some sort of miscreant. I don’t appreciate being talked to as if I’m some disrespectful, ignorant child. The comments were condescending and rude. Good thing we don’t live in Bible times or I’d have been stoned.
It’s really no wonder people are leaving the church in droves. With friends like that, who needs enemies? In the words of Gandhi when asked what he thought about Jesus Christ, “I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians. They are so unlike your Christ.”
.-= Sra. López´s last blog ..Regalitos $5 and less =-.
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