I have to admit there’s also a feeling of guilt embedded in me for not having outwardly expressed to my mom just how much I truly love her and value every single thing she did — and does — and decisions she took in her life to make sure my sisters and I had a comfortable, healthy, loving and well-guided life. I am, after all, my mother’s daughter and definitely take after her in the lack of being able to express that love through face-to-face words. We’ve always found a way to let the other one know, but I know it’s always better to say “I love you” when you can see that person in their eyes.

Mami, you can’t see me in the eyes right now, but know that my gift to you this Día de las Madres is this post and these words that come from a deep place of sincerity and a hope that we can find a way to spend this special day together again.

In El Salvador, Mother’s Day is celebrated on May 10th, which also happens to be the day of my birth. Every single year I would have to say “Felicidades” to my mom and get another “Felicidades” in return. As much as this was Mother’s Day, it was hard for me to stop feeling it was more my day. But this year I’m doing it different and I’m sending my mami this post to read before May 10th so I can be the first one to say “Felicidades” and to make sure you know that, just like this Hallmark Greeting above says:

“Today is a good day to honor you — a wonderful woman who’s always thinking of ways to make life better for others. What a gift you are.”

And that’s just it. It’s my turn to honor you. During my 41 years of life you’ve always given of yourself first. You pushed through as a single mom to give me the best bilingual education there was. You always somehow managed to be there for us, even though you had to make it work. Once you remarried things were a bit different for all, but you kept finding ways to make us come first and live a sheltered and protected life because that’s what love meant to you.

Porque

“Mamá Ama, Cuida, Enseña y Protege”

You always taught me to be kind, compassionate of others, and that a good demeanor, a smile and good taste can open many doors.

Even though the physical distance is huge, you managed to be here for me when my daughter was born and put up with my crazy first-time-mom idiosyncrasies without passing judgement (at least to my face!).

All Camila knows is that her Abuelita adores her because every moment you’ve shared with her you’ve been the ultimate giving abuelita. The kind of abuela that doesn’t think twice about getting down on her arms and legs to let her nieta ride on a horsey. The kind of abuela that will give the longest massages while reading a bedtime book.

“Gracias, Abuelita, por siempre darme una porción de alegría, una medida de dulzura…y todo, todo tu amor. ¡Te quiero mucho!”

This Mother’s Day, we send you from Los Angeles to El Salvador mucho amor del bueno and a promise to soon have it be said face to face.

Disclosure: We’re working with Hallmark on a series of posts for Mother’s Day for which we’re being compensated. As usual, all stories and opinions are our own.

Disclosure: We’re working with Hallmark on a series of posts for Mother’s Day for which we’re being compensated. As usual, all stories and opinions are our own.

Time and motherhood definitely play the biggest tricks on you. Just when you think you’re wise enough to have it all under control, a little being comes into your life to let you know that there’s still a whole lot of inner work to be done and lessons to be learned. I truly believe our children are here to teach us about ourselves as much as we are to lead them in life. Any single parenting obstacle I face, I’ve learned to reflect upon who I am at that moment and what I’m going through. In most cases, using the moment as my mirror, helps me realize why my daughter is “acting up” and what I can do to change myself in order to change the underlinings of the situation.

Then there are those not-so-zen or seemingly under control moments — which turn out to, admittedly, be more often than not — where I can hear myself react and say the exact same things my mom used to say and that, well, I don’t necessarily remember as the fondest memories. Can you remember that moment when you realized that as much as you thought your parenting style was so of-the-moment and so far off the way you were raised, you’re still la hija de tú mamá and those dichos are so part of you?

This is one I inherited from my mom:

Right hand index finger pointed in my girl’s direction;  left hand on my hip; my whole body slightly leaning towards her I say with a slightly exasperated tone: “Camila, es la última vez que te lo digo y ¡no te lo quiero decir más!”

And there’s the issues of my zoned-out “Mhhm’s.” Camila detests my “Mhhm’s” because she already knows they happen when I’m not really, really, like really hanging on to every little word that comes out of her mouth. She loves words and uses them a lot. I love that about her and her creativity is one to be reckoned with. I don’t want her to stop bursting out and sharing her thoughts and life with me at all, but in some moments my brain can only take so much and it will go on neutral to the “Mhhm” zone — just like my mother did and still does.

I keep discovering more and more simple nuances about myself — like how I purse my lips when I’m focused — that clearly prove that I’m my mother’s daughter. And then I see my little mini-me becoming more like me every day and become aware of the unbreakable spirit that binds us all through generations, countries and backgrounds. One born and raised in El Salvador; the other born in Houston and raised in El Salvador and the U.S. and the third one born in the U.S. with four different heritages in her blood. Yet, our spirit is the same — like mother, like daughter and like nieta — all with a fierce spirit to boot.

That spirit might make us feel like we’re not always “La Mejor Mamá del Mundo,” like this beautiful Hallmark card I got my mom says. I feel lucky that one thing my daughter has not inherited from me is the awkwardness to tell her mom or her abuelas (like she does to her Oma in the picture above created with Hallmark’s Pic n Props) how much she loves her. My girl shouts it out to me with joy (I do also get the reverse when things don’t go her way, in case you were wondering!) whenever she feels the urge: “You’re my  best mami ever!”

And here I am, using this post and this Hallmark card to finally tell my mom that she’s “La Mejor Mamá del Mundo” and I’m proud to be turning out just like you. Te quiero mucho, mamá.

Next week I will be representing SpanglishBaby at the Zimmer Children’s Museum on Wednesday, May 8^th from 2:30-5pm for a free afternoon of play that celebrates Latina motherhood!

I would love to meet some of you there!

Bring your kids and your Moms for a special afternoon where you will enjoy a bilingual concert by Birdie’s Playhouse, make a tea hat for Mami, and enjoy bilingual story time. Food will be provided by Chipotle. Yum!

Plus, each family present will be entered in a raffle to win a year-long membership to the Zimmer!

If you want to attend just go to this link HERE to register for free and leave me a comment below letting me know you’ll be there.

Mi mamá y yo

The story of my mom is not that of a single mom who sacrificed everything to make sure I had a better life. Or of an immigrant mom who came to this country not knowing a word of English and raised three successful professionals by working two jobs. Neither is it the story of a mom who slaved in the kitchen to ensure we had the most comforting home-cooked meals to cure all our ailments.

No, the story of my mom is just one of an extremely strong and loving woman who hasn’t failed to be my side since the day I was born.

While my mom was not single, she and my dad did sacrifice a lot to make sure my siblings and I were not only exposed to other languages, but to other cultures too. As some of you might already know, I lived in five countries spanning three continents by the time I was 14. My mom truly believed in the benefits of living overseas and experiencing how others live and so she eagerly followed my dad wherever his job took him, even when this meant she’d be oceans apart from her own family, especially her own mother, mi abuela.

I do remember that was not easy for her at all, but I will always cherish the memories we made together as a family as we moved from country to country and she made sure we not only adapted, but thrived in our new environments, as only a loving mom can do. I turned 10 years old a couple of months after we moved from Buenos Aires, Argentina to Johannesburg, South Africa and my mom made sure I had the kind of birthday party that forever will live in my memory even though I’d barely had enough time to make friends in school.

While my mom was an immigrant to this country, she was lucky she spoke English way before she moved to this country. In fact, she used to be an English teacher for adults back in Peru. She didn’t have to work two jobs to make sure her kids became successful professionals, but when my dad was laid off after more than 30 years in the same company and not much of a retirement plan, she realized it was time to go back to school so she could become the breadwinner.

To this day, I still don’t know how she did it, but she went back to school at almost 50 and got a degree as a respiratory therapist. I remember she would spend long hours poring over material that was like Chinese to me — and apparently to her too, as she confessed not too long ago! But she did it and has been successfully working as a respiratory therapist ever since. If that’s not a lesson in perseverance and an awesome example for her own children, then I don’t know what is.

While I’ll never be able to reminisce about the delicious family recipes my mom used to whip up for us — I’ve written before about her (and my) lack of skills in the kitchen — my mother has been nurturing in so many other ways that I have no problems with that. (Plus, I have my Dad’s cooking to thank for those memories!).

I truly cannot remember ever needing my mom for anything and her not been there for me. She has always been a great example of what a mother can be: a balance between a woman who doesn’t stop her own life when she becomes a mom and a woman who will fiercely do whatever needs to be done for her children when she becomes a mom.

Today, my mother is thoroughly enjoying another role, that of grandmother to my children. Today, nothing makes me happier that to see my children with her mamama. She spoils them to no end, but she’s also the most important source of Spanish, our Peruvian culture and familia for my children.

Mamita, gracias por todo lo que haces por tu familia y ¡Feliz Día de las Madres! ¡Te quiero mucho!

And Happy Mother’s to all our awesome SpanglishBaby moms who shared their stories with us this week and to all our moms in our beautiful SpanglishBaby community!

There are so many wonderful reasons why I love being a mom to a bilingual and bicultural child. And beyond the long-term benefits that it will have for my son as he navigates through life, I keep coming back to a nostalgic feeling of keeping a connection between my son and my home country of Venezuela.

I was born in Caracas and we moved to the Unites States in 1980 when I was just 6-years-old. According to my mother, I quickly became a gringita and immersed in the American life, almost losing my Spanish completely. While my mom was busy being a student, she would send me to Venezuela during my summers to spend time with my father, mi abuela, tia-abuela y el resto de la familia.

Today, I’m very thankful for that experience and credit those summers with helping me to shape my worldview and the mother that I am today. Thankfully, I didn’t lose my Spanish and started to embrace my culture while in college in Colorado.

My husband Sean is a native of Colorado and we met while we both lived in a funky and highly Hispanic neighborhood in Northwest Denver. We both picked the neighborhood because of the high influence of Latino culture and loved living there. Having a husband that also loves the culture and who is also bilingual helps to keep the culture alive in our family.

Living in Northwest Denver was a perfect place for William to get a head-start into Hispanic culture. Our neighborhood had a local mercado, a lovely park and local Mexican restaurants that we visited frequently. It definitely made my job as a bilingual mami much easier.

In May of 2010 we moved to Raleigh, North Carolina, giving up our lovely neighborhood and friends. As a mother I’ve had to pull together resources and have made more of a commitment to make sure Spanish is around William on a daily basis. It’s definitely been more of a challenge for me and thankfully I found Spanglishbaby.com. It’s helped me tremendously to stay motivated and know there are other mamis that are on the multicultural journey. 

I have a lot of guilt about not speaking solely Spanish in the home but we do pick certain meals where we do speak only Spanish, we do a word of the week, read books in Spanish, and when I have to discipline, Spanish comes in handy. For some reason he just perks up when mami speaks Spanish for it means business.

Keeping William close to where his mami’s roots are, as well as his papi’s roots, is important to me. Though he won’t have the same benefits that I did spending summers in Venezuela, there are countless resources to help us during this journey.

Valentina Garcia-Gerdes is a stay at home mother and an advocate for dual language and dual language schools,  freedom of speech, journalism, social media, good parenting, immigration and immigrant rights among other things. She loves to cook, be with my family, travel, take photos, organic gardening and explore the new. She is learning to love to write again in her blog: World View Mother.

As someone who was raised by a single mother, Mother’s Day has an extra special significance to me.  Not only because we celebrated it twice in my home. Dominican’s Mother’s Day is on the last Sunday of the month. To me Mother’s Day signifies something bigger — the daily struggles, endurance, determination and influence of a woman who came to this country for a better life. My mother promised to make certain my brother and I had a better life than the one she had growing up during the dictatorship of Rafael Leónidas Trujillo in the Dominican Republic.

As a Dominicana born and bred in Manhattan’s Washington Heights — which has a very large Dominican population — I was fortunate enough to grow up with culture all around me. Sin importar la temporada, you are guaranteed to hear the music, smell the delicious sazón at the crack of dawn and get a feel of the everyday Dominican life as you walk by the bodega listening to the old-timers tell their story of the barrio.

I remember being inundated with stories of growing up in a country where your choices weren’t your own and opinions didn’t matter.  Living in a time where trusting and confiding your opinions to your vecinos could cost you your freedom. What made a situation worse was that not abiding by Trujillo’s rule could cost you your life and that of your family.

Through these stories I found out who my mother really is.  I found out she grew up having to know ‘her place’ as the morenita living in a country where her skin color was seen as something not to be proud of.  Learning about my cultura, raíces y costumbres through her words and eyes is what helped me better understand the woman she became all those years later.

Despite all the hardships she faced over the years, it never deterred her from becoming a strong, inspiring, hardworking, determined, dedicated mujer y mamá.

Finding out about los Padres de la Patria (Duarte, Sanchez y Mella), the secret society La Trinitaria, the courageous hermanas Mirabal and listening to el himno nacional was my mother’s way of sharing who she is and her orgullo for her patria querida with me.

Mi cultura y raices is what defines me as a mujer y mamá today.  Thanks to his abuela, my son will be exposed to a part of who he is. A part of him that represents centuries of historia, tradiciones, hardships, triumphs y belleza that will help him define who his culturally. Speaking the language, dancing to Fernandito Villalona’s merengue classics and enjoying tostones and yucca are just some of the things that will get him closer to our Quisqueya la bella.

Jessie Nuez is a passionate mujer, wife, blogger and mama to a toddler.  A native New Yorker who has spent her career in the customer service industry, Jessie is a now contributing writer to the Examiner – New York City covering stories that focus on mobile and personal technologies.  Jessie can also be found writing for her two sites Hecho Para Mama and Tech Savvy Tips.

As a first generation Latina it is of the utmost importance for me that my children learn to speak and write proper Spanish. Much more than that, I find myself lecturing my closest friends and family — also first generation — when I hear they don’t speak Spanish to their children.

The answer I often get from these parents is that it is effortless to talk to them in English because they are learning the language in school and they struggle when trying to get their message across in Spanish, so they go for what is “easier.” Really?

I totally disagree. It does not matter how much English I know and how it continues to improve as my years living in the United States go by, it will never be easier for me to talk to a loved one (specially not my children) in a different language than Spanish. It’s just not natural to me. That’s why they call it “mother tongue,” it is meant to be passed from generation to generation.

Some say I have become “the bilingual mom police.” I can’t help but encourage any Spanish-speaking parent I know to pass along the language. Moreover, I usually ask any parent I meet, whose first language is one other than English, if they are passing on their language and culture to the children. I cannot stress enough the importance of being bilingual and how many people pay to acquire another language while we can give it to our children for free.

Currently, I am at the easiest stage of making my daughter bilingual. Since she is just a toddler and not going to school yet, I am teaching her Spanish only. To reinforce my belief that there is no way someone born and raised in the U.S. will not learn English because their parents talk to him in a different language, my daughter is learning English words from other people and cartoons at an impressive pace.

Achieving the goal of bilingualism is hard work. It is easier said than done, I know that. I’ve seen it with friends who have children in the school system already who refuse to speak Spanish. The common trend is that siblings will talk among themselves in English while at home.

My friend Maria has to repeatedly ask her daughters to answer in Spanish. She only talks to them in Spanish, but ever since they started school they want to speak their mother’s language less and less. However, these kids are in fact bilingual. I’ve seen how the oldest (8 years old) will help the middle sister when the mother asks “en español Emily por favor,” and the second one cannot answer properly.

This dynamic can indeed be frustrating, but it works. By asking one of the children to say something in Spanish, the mom engages the other one who comes in to help, while the third one is listening. After witnessing both sides: the parents who give in and fail to teach their children their own language and the ones who struggle on a daily basis with it but stick to their belief and succeed, I am determined to be in the second group.

How do I intend to do this? There is no secret formula, but there are a few things I think can — and will — help me focus in achieving my goal: being restless and consistent about keeping Spanish the official language in my household; showing my children it is not “impolite” to speak Spanish in public; teaching them the importance of knowing more than one language; and ultimately, making Spanish a way of bonding and communicating at a deeper level, something that will bring us closer together instead of separating us.

As for being “the bilingual mom police,” I’ll try to approach those around me in a way they don’t feel criticized. However, I think trying to create awareness on the importance of keeping our culture and our language is something that I have to continue doing. I may make a few people uncomfortable in the process, but if some of them eventually listen, that will be more than enough for me.

Dania Santana (a.k.a. MamiCool) was born and raised in the Dominican Republic and moved to the United States at the beginning of 2004. She is the mother of an 18-month old girl and is currently pregnant with her second child (a baby boy). Dania has been a reporter, writer, translator and proofreader in Spanish for over 15 years. She has a bachelor’s degree in Communications and majored in Journalism. She blogs in Spanish at www.lafamiliacool.com.

I´m used to having to congratulate my mom and give her a gift at the same time I´m receiving a gift and congratulations from her.  As of 3 years ago, I´ve had to get used to receiving the one congratulation for the day I was born and for being a mother.

However, since we live in the U.S., I can separate these two important celebrations! We celebrate Mother´s Day with my husband and daughter on the second Sunday in May and my birthday on May 10th. Yes…a sneaky way of getting two gifts!

To make it easy for my husband, I´m dropping him some subtle hints as to what this mamá would like. Since I´m a Walmart Mom, I´ve chose one affordable option and one not-so-affordable, but much more so since it´s from Walmart and they have an Everyday Low Price Guarantee, meaning that if you find a lower price on the same item Walmart will match it.

Fitness Gift Set for Under $30

Since I really need to get off my Facebook rear and work out, especially now that I´m looking at 40, and I just don´t have much time to get to the gym, I would love to try one of Jillian Michael´s fitness DVDs. The tank and the yoga pants are to feel good while getting ripped abs.

1.  Jillian Michael´s:  6 Week Six-Pack $8.96

2.  Danskin Now:  Women´s Dri-More Bootcut Pants $9.00

3.  Danskin Now:  Women´s Double Strap Yoga Tank $8.00

Picture-Perfect Gift Set for Under $200

I´m a blogger without a camera. I take all my pictures with my iPhone and it does a great job, but I would do much better with a dedicated point and shoot camera.  The digital frame is me finally admitting I´m never going to get my girl´s almost four years of life in pictures printed the old-fashioned way.  I give in to reality, bring on the digital frame into my digital life!

1.  Philips 7″ Digital Frame  $49 (In select stores until 5/7. Check your Walmart Local Ad)

2.  Nikon S4100 Camera with Bonus 4GB SD Card and case (Pink, to please my girl)  $147 (In select stores until 5/7)

What’s on your Mother’s Day wish list? Do you let your husband surprise you or do you throw not-so-subtle hints?

Disclosure:  We received  compensation as part of the Walmart Moms program to facilitate this post. As always, all stories and opinions are our own.

Having kids is a lot of work, as a mom of a 2-year-old, I’ll be the first to admit that it makes me a little crazy at times. There are so many situations to handle, so many decisions to make, so many daily tasks and hardly ever a break. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed and then, being a bicultural mom, go ahead and pile language and cultural lessons right on top of that list. Sheesh! How do we do it all!??? No, I mean, really, I haven’t figured it out yet! Lol!

Well, despite the fact that I’m not a perfect parent, I’ve still managed to do a lot right for my daughter and one of those “right things” is raising her bilingual, which is no slice of cake, if you know what I mean. I speak to her in Spanish as often as I can for a non-fluent speaker and I try to make it a regular part of our day by including discussions about Mexican foods and culture. We attend every cultural event from here to Omaha, which isn’t easy when you live in the Midwest.  There’s a stigma about Spanish, a shortage of speakers, and a distance from the culture that we crave as part of our daily lives.

So, how do you make it a part of your life without going crazy? Well, for our family, making it fun is the answer. Trust me, you can’t make a toddler do anything that she doesn’t want to do! I’ve tried!  But one day, I was trying to get her to brush her teeth and she was nervous, didn’t like the taste, didn’t like the feel of the bristles…she didn’t like any part of it! Can you guess what I did? I went shopping! Lol!  She picked her own Dora electric toothbrush, “My Little Pony” bubble gum toothpaste, and a special princess crown. Now she runs to brush her teeth and actually asks for her turn. We have a special ritual every night where she brushes on her own first (like a “big girl”) and then mommy gets the spots that she missed. When we’re all done, she spits, smiles and shouts, “Ding!  Princess teeth!” Yes, mija…tiene los dientes como una hermosa princesa! She loves to be a princess every night when she brushes her teeth and while she may not do a perfect job, I always tell her that she is such an awesome brusher and that I love her beautiful “princess teeth”.

With this kind of approach, it’s not only fun, but memory making. I can remember similar experiences with my own mother, when she would take the time to do things my way; it made me feel so special and loved. I think that as moms we have a unique insight into our child’s thoughts and the opportunity to make strong impressions upon them about what things in life are valuable!  As bicultural and bilingual parents, we can use these opportunities to impress our heritage and language upon them and pass those important traditions on through love. Maybe my daughter won’t get it perfect. Her Spanish may not be 100% spot on, or she may not know the most authentic recipe for mole, but you can sure bet that she’s going to look back on that time spent with her mama and want to give those same experiences to her children.

Chantilly Patiño lives in the Midwest and loves to write, travel and take photographs. She writes on her personal blog (BiculturalMom.com) about multiculturalism, discrimination, parenting, relationships and other important topics that are relevant to moms raising a ‘bicultural’ family.

Editor’s note: In celebration of Mother’s Day next week, we are honoring all mothers who do everything they can to give their children the awesome gift of bilingualism and biculturalism. We’ve invited several amazing mamás who are doing just that to tell us all about it in our Week of SpanglishBaby Moms. Each one of them brings a completely different look at bilingualism. All the moms are bloggers too and if you didn’t know about them before, I’m sure you’ll want to follow them afterward.

We’ve also got a giveaway meant to pamper the sexy and romantic woman in you:  a set of Victoria’s Secret Dream Angels™ beauty collection.

Sometimes I feel like I was raised by a stranger. And sometimes I feel like my daughters are being raised by a stranger, too. My mom, who I love dearly and am grateful beyond words for, has always been somewhat of a mystery to me. And I wonder, as my daughters prepare to turn two and four, if I will be a mystery to them.

In my home, we use the OPOL method; since birth, I have spoken to my daughters solely in Spanish. Immersing them in my native language has been like learning it all over again for me. It is beautiful and fascinating and challenging and surprising everyday. However, Spanish is not the language in which I think, dream, hope or feel.

My parents, who only speak Spanish, gave me values and character and shared their way of being with me. They gave me roots. That experience can never be replaced but also required few words on their part. I learned and absorbed through their generous, loving and dedicated example.

I dug those roots deeper and wider more by the lessons I’ve learned in English than those I learned in Spanish.

Every defining experience and emotional discovery has been made in English. First crush, first kiss, high school graduation, my best friendships, the best late night talks, journaling, death, falling in love, marriage, deciding to have children, birth – English.

My identity has been created in English.

What does all that have to do with a stranger raising my kids?

For my daughters, they’ve only ever had a relationship with me in Spanish. They’ve only ever had a relationship with a small part of my identity. There’s a whole other side to their mami they haven’t even met. I struggle with it because I want them to know ME, all of me. I want them to know the stories, the memories that make up this person I am – where I’ve come from, what drives me, what lights me on fire, what makes my heart soar. The language thing doesn’t prevent me from telling them my stories but when I recount them, they sound foreign and not like the stories I tell myself. So I’m left wondering: if the stories I’m telling feel foreign to me, are my daughters hearing the right story?

It makes me laugh that my mother and I seem so much alike now in our stranger-ness to the children in our lives. This Mother’s Day I’m realizing for the first time I’m very much in her shoes. My mom couldn’t share all of herself with me and vice versa because we didn’t (don’t) “speak” each other’s languages. Sure we shared Spanish but there was a thread of understanding missing.

My daughters and I, we’ve got all the pieces – shared language and the missing thread. I’ve just got to figure out when and how to introduce them to their mami. Do you know the answer? When do I start using English? When can I read them my favorite childhood book? Is four too young? Too young for language or too late for our relationship?

I didn’t think about this feeling of being perdida in translation when I chose to raise my daughters bilingual. It’s just a side effect, a delayed reaction like when I remember a random word like “fututo” or when I get teary eyed at a canción de cuna I’d forgotten. It’s a big price but it’s a giant cause, right?

Carla Molina is a multi-passionate mama of two little girls who lives to write and writes to live. A native of New Jersey, Carla studied philosophy  and fell in love at Northeastern University in Boston. From there, she followed her hubby home to the Ocean State and hasn’t budged since. She’s currently working on several projects including self-publishing a line of children’s books, potty training her almost 2-year-old and launching a little website she dreamed up 4 years ago. You can follow her as she works to do it all in one lifetime at All of Me Now.