Handy Manny was the first to render me speechless. My twins were toddlers, and my mother-in-law had given them a Handy Manny tool box for Christmas. Awesome gift, hours of play time ensured. We ripped it open, started in with all of Manny’s tools, his martillo, his…his…. A whole set of toys were splayed before me and I didn’t know the Spanish word for any of them. El serrucho y el destornillador - somehow those words never made it into the Spanish classes I’d taken since I started learning the language in seventh grade.

Vocab lists for the countless types of trucks and tractors in this world? They didn’t exist either. I realized that over the years I’d gathered an extensive knowledge of Spanish, yet I was missing the vocabulary of childhood. As we began to read more books, explore more imaginary worlds, I needed a virtual dictionary or at least my husband, a native Spanish speaker, nearby to pinch hit. With time, though, my vocabulary blossomed, and each new word gave me that sense of discovery kids have when they learn something new. I played with each word as it rolled off my tongue, and tried to figure out how to weave my new expressions into more conversations and stories. Soon we were flying a cohete to the moon,

 fighting Capitan Garfio with the help of Campanita,

and learning about the licks and love of a newborn cachorrito. As my littlest learned to neigh and growl, screech, squawk and hiss, so did I.

When we first decided to raise our kids bilingual, I lamented that I’d never get to use the witty English-language sayings parents use to keep their kids in line – stored up over more than three decades of listening to my and other moms. I still have a hard time with the fact that some of my favorite children’s books aren’t translated into Spanish.

I try not to sweat it though. Truth is, I wouldn’t trade my new words for the world.

{first photo by Loren Javier , photo of puppy by  justmakeit }

Photo by Mai Le

This is our second installment in our weekly series, Ask an Expert, and we are so happy to introduce Barbara Zurer Pearson, Ph.D., author of the informative and extremely useful book Raising a Bilingual Child–among many other qualifications. But before we get into all those, we wanted to thank all of you for sending your questions and remind you that you can continue to do so by going here!

A bilingualism expert with over twenty years of research experience in the fields of bilingualism, linguistics, and communication disorders, Pearson is currently a Research Associate at the University of Massachusetts Amherst.  Her pioneering work on bilingual learning by infants and children and on language assessment has been published in scholarly journals and in the book Language and Literacy in Bilingual Children.  As Project Manager, she contributed to the creation of the innovative DELV tests, culture-fair assessments of language development published by The Psychological Corporation.

And, now for the question:

Do children stick to their mother’s native tounge?

The following question was posed by Rick Jervis, a journalist born and raised in Miami to Cuban parents who now lives in New Orleans. He hopes to become a father in the near future and has already started wondering about the process in light of his family’s dynamic.

“What if the dad is speaking the minority language and the mom is speaking only the majority language. Thought I read somewhere that kids tend to stick to the mother’s native language.. (my wife was born in Puerto Rico to a Puerto Rican dad, but her mom is from New York and so was raised speaking only English).”

Dear Rick,

You’re part right. If the mother and the community speak the majority language and only the father speaks the minority language, that’s 2 against 1. Children usually spend more time with the mother than the father, so it might be 3 against 1. But if you and your wife can add other sources of Spanish and if you help your children feel that they really WANT and NEED to learn Spanish, the family can tip the balance the other way.

There is already one very good thing in your favor. Both of you care enough about your children speaking Spanish to plan ahead about it. You probably both have positive attitudes toward Hispanic customs and enough background to give your children the *desire* to learn the language. So, the question boils down to: Will your children have enough *opportunity* to speak and hear Spanish from important people in their lives on a consistent basis?

As a father, you shouldn’t automatically count out your contribution to the child’s language experience. There are several examples in my book of fathers who were the source of the minority language for their children. I also recommend George Saunders’ 1980s book  about how he did it. (It’s described in my book.) Saunders was a native English speaker in Australia who taught his three children German so he’d have people to speak German with.

It can be done, but you and your wife have specific things to consider if you decide to do it. How much time will you be with the children? How many other sources of Spanish will be available to help out? If you were born in Miami, it’s likely that your English is stronger than your Spanish. What steps will you take to strengthen your Spanish, and perhaps learn all the little children’s songs and finger plays that you may have forgotten? Will you have any opportunities to join a Spanish playgroup or find a bilingual school? Will you be able to travel to Puerto Rico (and maybe someday soon to Cuba!) or other Spanish speaking countries, or have Spanish-speaking visitors come see you?

I hope you’ll go for it! What’s the worst that can happen? The children don’t learn enough Spanish to be active bilinguals, but they pick up a good accent (for when they learn it later in life), and they learn about Spanish language and culture in the process.

Do you have a question for our experts? Remember no question is too big or too simple. So, to send us your question, please click here or leave a comment below. Thank you!

Photo by me

Last year, after my daughter Vanessa turned two, I enrolled her in a Parent’s Day Out (PDO) program at our local church. She goes once a week for 4 hours and seems to get a kick out of it. During orientation, we made sure her teachers were aware that, up to that point in her life, she had been exposed only to Spanish with very few exceptions here and there–we live in Colorado, after all. The first day of the program, again I reminded her teachers that although she probably would understand their instructions because of their simplicity, she only knew to communicate in Spanish. They told me not to worry, that everything would be fine. But like any “normal” mother, worry I did. A lot. I mean, I knew nothing bad would happen, but I wondered how in the world she would communicate her needs to her two teachers…

When I went to pick her up after that first day, I was relieved to find her smiling, wanting to tell me all about her day. I approached one of her teachers and asked how she had done. I was told she was an angel, but a very quiet angel. “She didn’t say a word,” Ms. P told me. I was fine with that because I knew from her demeanor that she’d had a good day. However, I wished her teachers spoke Spanish so they could be as amazed as I was at her extensive vocabulary–in Spanish. At 25 months, Vanessa said a lot more words–and I mean a lot–than most kids her age. In the end, I guess I just continued worrying about her ability to be understood.

As time went by, I noticed that she had picked up a few phrases in English–even though she only attends the PDO program four hours a week. She’d come home and say things like “he ya go,” “am soyee” and “am okay.” The crazy thing was that she would say these phrases at the appropriate times. When handing me a toy, throwing her cup or after tripping and almost falling, for example. My husband and I found it amusing, but more than anything, amazing to realize that she understood the actual meaning of each phrase. My worries about her abilities to communicate with her teachers started to dissipate, albeit just a bit. On occasion, I would still ask her teachers how she was getting along in respect to the language and they would say: “She doesn’t say much, but she seems to understand everything we tell her.”

Photo by sknaB noIA

So on we went, until one day recently, a crazy thing happened. A crazy thing–that I still can’t believe–happened! Check it out:

It was kind of late–which translates to: I was very tired–and we were finishing having dinner at our favorite Chinese restaurant. Vanessa was sitting in her high chair playing with some fortune cookies, minding her own business. My husband paid the bill and for some unknown reason gave me the pen the waitress had brought for him to sign the check. Without really thinking too much about it, I said to him: “That’s not mine.” In English. Just like that. Vanessa looked at me and said: “Mami, ¿eso no e tuyo“? To which I responded, completely oblivious to what had just happened: “No, Vane, eso no es mio.” Immediately after both my husband’s and my jaw dropped to the floor. What had just happened? Had she translated my sentence word-by-word? Yes, she had!

When did she start doing this? How did this happen? How did she know? Who told her? So many questions, none of which could be answered. Maybe it doesn’t sound like a big deal, but to us, it was a HUGE deal. For us, it meant that Vanessa is really on her way to being bilingual, that she gets it and maybe it also means that we’ve been doing the right thing! It’s nice to get some reassurance once in a while, don’t you think?

I still smile when I think about it! I’m sure she probably thought I was crazy to make such a big deal out of it, but I believe in celebrating her each and every chance I get

Have your kids done things like this that make you feel you’re right on track? Do you have a story of a small triumph like this one you can share with the rest of us?

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