A few months ago I was texting back and forth with my good friend Melanie of ModernMami and she came up with the excellent idea of getting our girls to become pen pals. Although they’ve only met each other once when we visited Disney last year, we figured it’d be a good way for them to keep in touch and practice their Spanish at the same time. Plus, I have such fond memories of my own pen pals growing up (I had one in Panama and the other one in Mexico) that I immediately jump on it!

After I explained to Vanessa the concept behind having a pen pal, she got really excited and want to get to it right away. But it took us a little while to get started because she was still in school at the time. When we finally got around to it, I must say that Vanessa was very proud of what she ended up sending Melanie’s daughter in Orlando.

She started by writing her a little note with a few sentences in Spanish (and one in English!) and I just let her say whatever she wanted. She then decorated the card with drawings and stickers. But she wanted to send her new pen pal a little gift too, so she decided to make her a necklace using beads to spell her friend’s name. And then we put everything in a package and we went to the post office together so Vanessa could send it off. Now, she’s patiently waiting for her pen pal to respond!

I love the idea of an old-fashioned (snail mail) pen pal for bilingual kids because it allows them to not only practice their writing skills in Spanish, but it gives them a perceived need to continue being bilingual. In other words, Vanessa’s so excited about keeping in touch with her pen pal that if we keep this up and she ever starts refusing to speak her minority language, I’ll have a great reason to remind her to continue speaking it.

In terms of how to get started, I think that in an ideal world, your child can be pen pals with another bilingual child whose parent you already know, but doesn’t necessarily live in the same city or state. When I was younger, all I had to do was look in the back of the teen magazines I used to read (like Tú, does anybody remember that one?) and see if there was anybody interesting. Today, I’d be very worried about my kids doing something like that…

There are, however, some options available online — which I haven’t tried and I’m not endorsing — that you can research and see if it’s something that would work for you and your bilingual child. Here are some:

• Pen Pal Kids Club
• Pen Pals for Kids
• Amazing Kids! Pen Pals

 
Do you know of any others you’d care to share with us? Did you have a pen pal yourself? What do you think about your bilingual child having a pen pal?

There are stages in parenthood that are easier than others. We all want to grasp and hang on to those days when our children are cooperative, responsive and full of joy.

Then there are those days when they test our parenting skills – or lack of – and they take us to limits we honestly dread. We have to be honest and upfront that this happens even to the best and most zen of us. There’s a reason for it.

I truly believe that the tests our children put us through exist to show us about ourselves. I’m not being egotistical in the sense that it’s all about “me” and denying that there’s a root to the problem our children are experiencing in that moment. But once someone taught me that to change a child’s behavior, I needed to first see what had to change inside of me. We’re all a reflection of each other; or like the ancient Mayans used to say as a greeting to each other (and many still do): In Lak’ech – meaning “I am another yourself.”

I’m in reflection mode right now because my daughter is in a “phase” that’s feeling a bit temporary and it’s beating me up. I looked inside and what I found I shared here: I’ll Admit It: I Need Parenting Help.

Would love to know if you have these days, weeks, months when none of the parenting advice and/or skills seem to have any relevance. Please do share.

Photo by Belzie

Today in the U.S. we commemorate Memorial Day by paying honor to all the great men and woman who have passed away while in military service for our country.  Our thoughts and prayers are with all the families who have loved a lost one defending us.

Every Monday we bring you our Ask an Expert series where bilingual experts from various fields take their time to answer a question you have submitted. If you’ve been thinking about sending us your question, but haven’t done so yet, go ahead and do it now. Just click here.

Liza Sanchez

We welcome back Liza Sánchez, founder and Board Chair of Escuela Bilingüe Internacional (EBI) in Oakland, California. EBI is the first independent school in California to offer a Spanish-English dual language program, extending from pre-K through 8th grade. You can also find this mamá of four multilingual daughters blogging at Bilingual Talk.

My toddler only speaks Spanish.  Will she miss out in the community?

Over a month ago Liza answered a question sent in by Blanca Pedroza about her concern that her daughter was not getting enough exposure to English.  This is probably the biggest worry most parents using the mL@H method have.

Liza advised her to continue reinforcing the minority language at home because the majority one (English) will eventually come through exposure at school and such.  Blanca wrote us again because she still has doubts that her daughter will be able to participate with her English-speaking community at this young age when she’s only been exposed to Spanish.

“As I’ve mentioned in a previous question to the experts, my husband and I only speak Spanish to our children (ages 4 months and 1 1/2). My one year old can talk up a storm in Spanish.  She knows all her colors, can hold a simple dialogue with sentences and questions, and loves to learn new words. Others who only speak English would never be able to tell and they just comment that she seems “shy.”

I honestly feel she is very bright (not just because she’s my daughter) and I’m afraid that I may be doing a disservice for her socially because she is unable to communicate with others in the community who approach her in English.

Will she pick up on some English by watching educational television shows? Should I make sure she is exposed to some type of English? I know that when I asked this in my previous question to the experts I was advised to continue exposing her to as much Spanish as possible. However, my concern remains regarding her social skills that she is missing out on in the community (library, park, etc.).”

Dear Blanca,

I completely understand your concern. Many parents, including me, have had similar concerns when it comes to raising bilingual children.

There is no doubt that in order for your child to become bilingual they will have to have as much exposure as possible to the home language. However, each family’s situation is different and what works for one child may not be best for another. Even children within the same family can respond differently to the same language exposure and can have varied experiences as a result. What this all boils down to is that there is no one correct way to raise your bilingual children and unfortunately, there is no one concrete answer to your concerns.

It sounds like you are comfortable with your daughter’s Spanish language acquisition and are now more concerned about her learning English. Should she start learning English now? It isn’t necessary. She is only 1 1/2 and still has many years before kindergarten. I think you will be surprised by how much she will know by that time. I really don’t think it is necessary to provide more English language opportunities at this time but you might want to reconsider this as she gets older. Again, it all really depends on each child and the amount of exposure they are getting in each language.

Will she learn English from watching educational TV? Yes, especially shows that are designed for preschool aged children. TV counts as language exposure.

Should you allow her to enjoy community events and trips to the park? Of course. You can only control the amount of Spanish and English she hears to a certain extent but you certainly don’t want to deprive her of having fun and getting to know the people in her community.

It may seem hard to believe now but she will be speaking English before you know it. Stick with it, raising bilingual children isn’t easy but it is rewarding. Your children will thank you one day.

Please write back to SpanglishBaby and keep us updated on her, and your, progress.

Is there any additional advice or words of encouragement you can give Blanca?  She’s also asked to hear from parents like you who have had success raising bilingual children.

Do you have a question for our experts? Remember no question is too big or too simple. So, to send us your question, please click here or leave a comment below. Thank you!