Photo credit: Brit

“Estoy terminado,” is what my son says every time he’s done eating.  Not, “he terminado,” or “ya terminé.”  When he wants to know what something’s for, the question is, “¿Qué es eso para?”

And it drives me absolutely crazy.  Because both examples are such direct translations from English.  I am finished.  Estoy terminado. What’s that for?  ¿Qué es eso para?

As I do whenever my boys say something that’s not quite right, I correct them gently without quite correcting them by repeating the correct way to say it back to them.  Sí, ya terminaste.  ¿Quieres saber para qué es eso? If they’re talking to me in Spanish and use a word in English, I supply them with the Spanish equivalent.

Gentle corrections or not, though, the expressions persist, and I wonder what to do about them.  We all worry about making sure our children learn the minority language—and worry that if we become too critical, learning the language will no longer be fun for them and they will rebel or give up.  In my case, throw in my boys’ speech delays and it makes me even more reluctant to correct them.

Part of the reason the mistakes drive me so crazy is that they’re happening more frequently.  My kids are having a great final year of preschool, and though they’re keeping up with the Spanish at home and even with one of their teachers, they’re in a mostly-English environment all day, and I think it’s starting to show.

Part of the reason is my training.  I thought my Spanish was great when I decided to pursue a master’s degree in interpretation.  After all, I had lived and studied in both the U.S. and Latin America.  Fortunately, I was blissfully unaware of what I was getting into—the program, though it was excellent and I loved it, was simply brutal.  It was two years of constant criticism and extremely hard work.  I practiced interpretation with my classmates at 6:00 a.m. and then again for hours after class in the afternoon.  People routinely broke down in tears during class.  When we allowed one language to seep into the other, it was called “contamination.”  Realizing just how much I didn’t know was quite a rude awakening.  After years of code-switching or using Spaniglish with my friends and family, I essentially broke the habit.

I read this post on Spanglish with keen interest.  Although I am teaching my boys Spanish, I try hard to always be aware that I am not raising little interpreters, and I have no interest in doing so.  This site has educated me quite a bit, actually.  I’ve loved reading about code-switching in children and how it is a natural part of dual-language acquisition.  The way my children can switch back and forth never ceases to amaze me.  However, I did realize something huge about myself when I was in graduate school:  Whenever I found myself speaking Spanglish, I was usually switching to the other language because I had never learned how to say the word I was looking for in the first one.

That’s why I try hard to at least provide my children with the word they need, or to point out that marrón is the same color as café, for example.  And it’s clear that reading to them in Spanish is so hugely beneficial—they routinely use expressions that I don’t use but that I recognize from their books.  I also believe that lacking vocabulary in your second language is not actually a serious problem—we can all learn a new set of vocabulary.

The last time Primo told me “estoy terminado,”  I decided to try a different tack.  “That’s not quite how you say it in Spanish,” I told him.  “You say, ya terminé.”  I watched the wheels turn for a few seconds and waited for his reaction.  “Sí, así se dice,” he told me unequivocally.  “Estoy terminado.”  Then he laughed, and I laughed, and we had a mock argument and went back and forth on it a few times.

My reasoning was that Primo is an intellectually curious little boy, and he might appreciate the explanation and the correction.  Apparently not, at least not right now.  So I’m left pondering my next move, I haven’t really figured out what to do about correcting mistakes, and I have no idea how to neatly tie up this blog post.

Except maybe like this:

Estoy terminada.

Photo by Kris Hoet

In this, our third week in our Ask an Expert series, we’ve decided to do something new and different. But before I explain what it is and share our reader’s question with all of you, I want to tell you just a little bit about our newest expert. Her name is Liza Sánchez–I mentioned her blog in yesterday’s Yo Quiero Links entry. She obtained her MA in Education at the University of California Berkeley. She is the founder and Board Chair of Escuela Bilingüe Internacional (EBI) in Oakland, California. EBI is the first independent school in California to offer a Spanish-English dual language program, extending from pre-K through 8th grade. Liza will be answering one of your questions next Monday, so please send anything related to bilingual education our way by going here.

Today, however, after reading all the incredibly useful and practical comments all of you have left here, Roxana and I realized that your are experts, too! So we’ve decided to let you dish out the advice. That’s right: You! We  love the fact that we have very opinionated and passionate readers who leave the most insightful comments. Reading them inspires us in so many ways. Now, let’s together help one of our readers who has agreed to receive honest and loving advice from us parents already on the journey to raising bilingual kids. Let’s share and learn from each other.

Will my husband confuse my baby?

This week’s question was sent by Mary Siddall, a Peruvian mom married to an American using the mL@H method to raise their son bilingual. They live in Denver, Colorado.

“I have a 10 month old baby. My native language is Spanish and my husband’s language is English. He knows some Spanish. I am having a hard time everytime my husband tries to speak Spanish to my baby. I think the baby will get confused if my husband does not speak it correctly. What do you suggest? Is it ok for my husband to speak to the baby in Spanish sometimes even though his Spanish has a lot of mistakes? Or, is it better for him only to speak to our son in English? I really don’t know. Thanks.”

You’re already raising a bilingual child or were raised as one…that makes you an expert. What advice can you give Mary? Let’s all chime in and make this experiment a success! Thanks to all and we look forward to reading your answers.

If you like what we’re talking about sign up for free SpanglishBaby updates via email or via RSS. You’ll like it.

Photo by JAG Photography

I hate to use the word “mistakes” because I think the journey can be difficult enough without adding any more pressure. Mostly I just wanted to compile a list of some of the things that parents have been known to do which have hindered the process of raising a bilingual child. They’re really meant more as reference than as a list of “thou shalt not” dos.

While I was researching this topic, I came across some pretty interesting reasons why parents fail at raising their children bilingual. In the end, I came to the conclusion that it really boils down to one major thing. So, before I list some of these “mistakes,” I just want to emphasis that perseverance is probably the most essential trait you need to posses when raising bilingual children. If you just keep at it–even when it feels like you’re failing or you’re not seeing the results as quickly as you’d like–in the end, it will all be worth it.

Try to keep this in mind:

• One thing is to be consistent, it is another to be inflexible. Speaking the second language should not become a burdensome task for your children. Try to make it as fun and natural as possible without making rules that can’t be broken. Otherwise, it will become a struggle–especially the older your children get–and you might eventually feel like you won’t win the uphill battle.

• Along the same lines, instead of correcting every single mistake your child makes, try repeating what he just said the correct way. Be patient, making mistakes is part of the process. Again, if you make a huge deal out of this, the whole thing will just become a punishing chore. You will fail. What you actually need to be doing is praising endlessly! Motivation will make a huge difference.

• Caving in to what “others” have to say about your decision to raise your children bi/multilingual will get you nowhere. Let’s face it, myths about this alternative way of raising children abound, especially in this country where being monolingual is the norm. People–whether it be your in-laws, neighbors, so-called friend and even some teachers & pediatricians–will always have something to say when you decide to do things “differently.” Do your own research, surround yourself with others in the same boat, ask for a second opinion (if the negative comments are coming from a “professional”). In the end, you are the parent and it is up to you to decide what is best for your kids.

• Using movies and music in the minority language is great, as long as they’re used as supplements. Sitting your child in front of the set to watch the Spanish version of Cars, for example, will do her no good if this is the only exposure she has to the language the whole entire day. Although it is better than nothing, you need to speak to your child directly and intently. The more she hears you speak the minority language, the more she will learn.

• Thinking it is way too late to start. Let’s see in how many ways I can say this: Late is better than never. It is never too late. If not now, probably never. It’s easier the earlier you start, but it is not impossible if you start later.

It is totally normal to feel like giving up at some point along the journey. Feelings of discouragement are part of the process, but when you do feel like that, try to look for support from others who are also raising bilingual kids. And, remember, you can always come to SpanglishBaby and drop us a line about what’s bothering you or the struggles you’re going through, we promise to remind you of the value of your decision, but most of all, we promise to be a place where you can just blow off some steam!

Have you ever thought about giving up? What has stopped? What advice would you give a parent that’s thinking about giving up?