Some parents stop speaking to their children in their second language when the child seems “confused” because they use both languages simultaneously. The fact of the matter is that this is the way languages evolve when they come into contact. In fact, I have been meaning to record my 3-year-old’s colorful use of two languages.

Just the other day she said, “Rafa (her older cousin), do you want to comer?” Another example is when she was asking me to buy her a ball and she said, “Mami, necesito ese (pointing to coins on counter) money para comprar una pelota.” Adults do it, too! The other day my very bilingual husband created a new word spontaneously when speaking to our daughter (Hija in Spanish):

Hija: ¡Voy a saltar! (from a table to the couch)!

Me: Sabrina, por favor no saltes, le puedes dar un owie a tu hermanita y a ti misma.

Hija: Quiero saltar, mami. ¡Voy a saltar!

Me: No, mi amor. No saltes ahí.

Hubby: Sabrina, por favor no jompes.

Me [laughing]

Hubby: Aaah, what am I saying? I know that word. Por favor no saltes, mi’jita.

Hija: Voy a saltar.

Translanguaging is the use of multiple languages simultaneously to communicate. That is to say, translanguaging is a form of flexible bilingualism. In our home we speak nearly 100% of the time in Spanish to our daughter, although we use Spanish and English all the time between my husband and I. Bilingual exchanges are a very natural occurrence in our home state of Texas. In fact, the closer you get to the Mexico/U.S border the more prevalent the use of Spanish & English becomes in communicating with others.

My intent in sharing the way we communicate in our home is to provide readers a glimpse of what raising a bilingual child is like in an environment where languages aren’t strictly separated. It does not fall under the One parent, One Language (OPOL) method, nor does it fall under the Minority Language @ Home (ML@H) method. I am not quite sure our method has a name…. yet!

As I continue to help my daughter develop her bilingualism (and eventually trilingualism), I intend on proposing a name to the method we are using in raising her with multiple languages. I whole-heartedly believe that we don’t need to keep the use of Spanish and English because in the real world, languages, just like people, will meet and influence the very fabric of our existence.

Please share your thoughts! Especially if you think of a name to this “language contact” method I am using to raise my daughter with multiple languages. As I write this, I realize that maybe that’s the name I have been looking for: Language Contact Method (LCM).

{Image by  amslerPIX}

I am Polish, my husband is German and we live in the Netherlands. I was raised in a multilingual family — my mother speaks English and my father speaks French and they both speak Polish and German. With our children, we have naturally assumed the OPOL approach in which I speak Polish with them and my husband speaks German.

I read a lot about bilingualism. All the books warned that it is normal for children to rebel against parents and their languages (especially when the parents are multilingual themselves) and this is why it is important to find monolingual peers for the children to play and practice the language with.

I was worried because it seemed to me that maintaining my children’s Polish would prove incredibly difficult, if not impossible. Why would they bother with Polish (which is not even seen as a language worth learning and speaking) when mom speaks almost perfect German? Finding Polish speakers who didn’t speak Dutch has been difficult, especially now that I have three children. Am I fighting a battle that is already lost?

I don’t think so. In Poland, my parents didn’t have other German-speaking children to play with me, and the only thing they did was speak German with me every Sunday, until my brother was born. Later, I had German at school, and then chose to study it at University. It was, of course, a decision based on practicality (or should I say laziness) rather than interest, but I found studying German fun.

I am very grateful to my parents for sticking to speaking German with me even though there were times when I hated it. They were very consistent and it paid off. Now, as I am raising multilingual children myself, I realize that even though peers are important, the parents have a huge impact on their children as well.

I think I am extremely lucky to come from a family with a long-term tradition of multilingualism. The children will see that their beloved grandparents are multilingual and will notice the benefits that come from it. Based on that, they hopefully will be more inclined to learn Polish.

I also speak Dutch, the majority language, and I think this is a benefit, rather than a disadvantage. By learning it, I am showing my children that I care about one of their languages — and an important part of their identity, and maybe, just maybe, this will motivate them to speak Polish with me. I know there will be times when they will rebel and refuse to speak it. But I think my story shows that the parents’ bilingualism is an asset rather than a problem.

I believe multilingualism is a way of life, and if the children learn to accept all languages, perhaps it will motivate them to learn and accept thire parents’ language as well.

Olga Mecking is a Polish woman living in the Netherlands with her German husband. Together, they raise three trilingual children. Olga is also a trainer in intercultural communication, translator and blogger at The European Mama, which is a blog about multilingualism, expat life and parenting.You can find Olga over at her blog, her Facebook page, or follow her on Twitter.

{Image by rolands.lakis}

Things started out well. The day that the moving truck officially brought all of our furniture into the house, our next-door neighbors brought us freshly baked chocolate chip cookies. Initially, everyone was so friendly, and there were days when the kids played together. Unfortunately, as time went on, I noticed that the new neighbors were not quite as sociable as they once had been. Initially, I just assumed that it was because everyone was busy, but then I started to think that perhaps there was a bit more to the change in their demeanor.

My husband and I are very consistent, perhaps even a bit obsessive compulsive in our following of the OPOL strategy. I have never spoken to my sons in English and neither has my husband. Even when others who do not speak Spanish are around, I still continue to use the minority language with my kids. One day I noticed that when my sons and I would use Spanish, the facial expressions and body language of my neighbors changed. It dawned on me that perhaps they weren’t so friendly with our family anymore because of the different languages. Language was alienating us from our new friends.

Our previous neighbors and good friends were from Indonesia. We never had any issues with different languages being used when we were together. I would continue use Spanish, my husband would use German, and they would speak to each other in Indonesian while English would be our common language. No one ever seemed uncomfortable with not understanding the different conversations all of the time. We rather enjoyed learning new phrases in each other’s languages, but more importantly, we were supportive of the effort involved in raising bilingual children.

The more I think about the situation in our new neighborhood, I am starting to wonder if people who only speak English are uncomfortable around other languages. Perhaps already being bilingual makes us less fearful or suspicious of ones that we do not know. I know that for me, this is the case. When I hear a new language, I want to learn new words and phrases. It also makes me especially happy to hear other parents speaking to their children in another language, since I know that they are giving their child the gift of bilingualism.

I realize with my new neighbors it is actually going to take a bit of effort and understanding on my part in order to develop a relationship. At Christmas, we took our neighbors chocolate and had a nice time visiting with them while the children played.  I was also pleasantly surprised to learn that the father in the one family is now even taking Spanish classes because his job requires him to go to Peru on a regular basis. His new need to learn Spanish emphasized for me the importance of raising bilingual children even in the face of many challenges. At the same time my neighbor has gained a deeper understanding of why my husband and I are so consistent in our efforts. Perhaps a friendship will develop after all.

{Photo by Mike Babiarz}

I began to learn Spanish a bit in grade school, and then in high school began the typical Spanish classes an hour a day. When I was a freshman, I traveled abroad for the first time to Peru with my dad to bring home my newly adopted brother and sister. This trip changed my life in uncountable ways: experiencing and living the language in bustling Lima and magical Cuzco cemented my love of Spanish and Latin culture.

In college, I changed my major to Spanish in part so that I could study abroad — not once, but twice (Spain and Ecuador). Most of my friends were Spanish-speaking, and I became very fluent. At the same time, I met my future husband — an exchange student from Mexico. I became a Spanish and ESL high school teacher, and we traveled frequently within Mexico, Puerto Rico, Costa Rica, Spain.

Evaluating my education and experiences, it would seem that raising bilingual kids would be a piece of cake. I am a huge advocate for multilingualism; I have multiple degrees in second language teaching and education; my Spanish is as near-native as it can be; I have many friends raising bilingual children; half of our family lives in Mexico and communicate almost exclusively in Spanish; plus, I love Spanish.

And yet… I still struggle. My kids answer me in English. And (voice dropping to a whisper) there are days that are so hectic and distracting that I admit I speak more English than Spanish. Much more. With my husband working long hours, using the OPOL (one parent one language) method cannot work for our family.

I have tried to step back and analyze what it is that inhibits me from communicating solely in Spanish. I enviously observe several successful friends in my exact situation who do an amazing job of maintaining a monolingual (Spanish) home environment, and I wonder why I am different?

The only answer I can provide is that as our family has grown and taken on more activities, and a fuller schedule, I have very slowly gotten out of the habit of sticking to Spanish. This is the first challenge: when I am in a hurry, or trying to do 10 things at once, or disciplining… what naturally comes out of my mouth is English.

My second challenge has to do with my own feelings of ineptness. When they were babies, I would play, and sing, and read to my kids in Spanish— but in the presence of anyone that spoke English I would switch. As our lives became more “social,” I found myself speaking more and more English. I then became hesitant to speak Spanish with the kids in front of anyone Latino. No one has ever said anything to me, but I have this tiny worry that I may use the wrong grammar or pronounce something wrong, or forget a word and have to mutter in Spanglish… I guess I worry that people will judge me?

With chagrin, dismay and deep-rooted guilt, I am admitting that I have put my own anxiety in front of my children’s need to hear more spoken Spanish.

I don’t mean to appear pessimistic. We are still a bilingual family. We still practice reading in Spanish, watch movies in Spanish, are spending the summer in Mexico, play with Spanish-speaking families, and my daughter loves to text my husband in Spanish. They really do understand 99%, and when they are with Spanish-speaking relatives, they participate in the conversation and play with their cousins.

The reason for this confession is to soundly proclaim (if only to myself) my New Year’s resolution. I am determined to turn a corner in our language journey, and adhere to a Spanish-majority home environment. My goal for 2013 is to help my 4 children develop oral proficiency by being a proper role model. How can I ask them to speak Spanish, when I am modeling English? Henry Ford once said “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t — you’re right.” I think I can — I know I can — and I will do my best to speak Spanish with my kids this year. This is going to be the year that I transform our family language system from OPOL (one parent one language) to mL@H (minority language at home).  Who’s with me?

{photo by  SanShoot}

Image by :Raúl A.

Before Vanessa started preschool a couple of months after she turned two, I often wondered how she was going to survive for four hours surrounded solely by English. I worried that others would think she had no manners because even though she already understood the concept of “gracias” and “por favor,” she knew nothing about “thanks” and “please.” I explained the situation to her teachers and they reassured me everything would be fine. You see, up until then, her life had only revolved around Spanish.

To be honest, before she was born, we didn’t really give much thought to what method we’d use to raise our daughter bilingual. I mean, both my husband and I knew we were going to speak to her only in Spanish because she’d learn English in school. The same method had worked in the past with my husband’s son who is now a bilingual teenager. Truth be told, I didn’t even know there was a name for the method we were using…

Minority Language at Home (mL@H)

When I started doing research for SpanglishBaby, I found out it’s called the Minority Language at Home or mL@H. This method is self-explanatory, but it’s important to point out that neither you nor your partner have to be native speakers of the minority language you’ll be using exclusively at home. In other words, as long as you are both fluent in the minority language – which in this country is anything other than English – this method will work for you.

I have a bilingual (Spanish/English) friend who lives in the Northeast and has been using this method with her children aged 8 and 9 from the beginning. They are bilingual alright, but it has been a difficult road since they live in an area with virtually no Hispanic community. This means that the only Spanish her kids get is at home from her, her husband and the nanny. The result: even though her kids are bilingual, the truth is they speak English most of their waking hours. Her strategy has been to be as strict as possible about talking to them exclusively in Spanish. In fact, many times her kids will address her in English and she’ll respond by asking them to repeat it in Spanish.

One Parent – One Language (OPOL)

The most popular system in both Europe and Canada is the one in which one parent speaks one language and the other one speaks another. There are several combinations of this method. For example, each parent speaks their own native language which is a minority language and the majority language is learned outside the home. In this case, the child would grow up with three languages. Another option is that the father speaks the majority language and the mother the minority one. Based on absolutely no scientific evidence but on my own observations of my daughter’s bilingual playgroup, it seems as if the latter example is the most common one.

Another friend of mine who has been using OPOL – although not exclusively – since her son was born two years ago, explains some of the problems she’s encountered with this method. “Ideally, I’d never speak to him in English, but for some reason, when my husband is home, I feel a little weird, as if I am excluding him from our conversation.” So, she ends up speaking in English. Actually this is a very common worry and a subject of which we’ll write about in posts to come.

Time and Place (T&P)

This type of method is what’s most often used at schools with bilingual programs. For example, the minority language is used in the morning and the majority language in the afternoon. Or, like in the bilingual school I attended, some subjects – such as math or science – are in the minority language one school year and in the majority language the next. This strategy refers less to family life than the other two.

From what I gather, none of these methods seem to be fail-proof and although consistency is important, flexibility is even more so. Even if you start with one method, who’s to say that a few months down the road you realize another method might work better for your family or for your current situation?

What method do you use to raise your kids bilingual? What problems have you encountered with the method you’ve chosen?

Like many of you reading, I had it all planned out.  I had read about One Parent, One Language and knew that was how I wanted to raise my children.  It was what my parents had done at home with me.  My husband was completely on board.  Making sure my children learned Spanish was important to me for many, many reasons.

And then they were born and it was just the strangest thing–I found that speaking to my babies in Spanish was actually quite hard.  Whenever I tried to talk to them, English threatened to spill out and thwart my good intentions, and for some reason English seemed more…natural.  I fought against the feeling and made myself speak Spanish anyway, but I was feeling somewhat blue and more than a little frustrated with myself.

I’m sure there were plenty of post-pregnancy hormones involved, and there was also the fact that I had no idea what I was going to do with two newborns.  But mostly, I think now that things felt so daunting because I was establishing the language in which I would have a relationship with my sons.  Because back in the day, before I had heard of OPOL, whenever I thought about it at all, I thought of all of my relationships as being conducted in a language.

English with my father.  Spanish with my mother.  English with my brother when we were little, with a shift over to Spanish at some point, though I don’t remember when.  Even with my colleagues and friends who are also bilingual, we seem to have picked a language at some point and stuck with it.  Switching languages, as we often do to be polite in the presence of others, just feels strange.

So I watch, fascinated, as my boys develop a relationship and I take note of which language they use.  This is partly, I must say, because it is a very recent phenomenon.  Secondo has autism and Primo got an official autism diagnosis this month as well.  Other mothers would often exclaim, “Oh, it must be so nice, they must entertain each other so well!”  And I would nod and smile, but the truth is that up until just a few months ago they largely ignored each other.  Loved each other, to be sure–one was often aware of the other’s presence and became upset if his brother wasn’t around, but that was about it.  Along with their educational teams, we decided that after being separated in school for two years, they could be in the same class this year, since they never paid too much attention to each other at school.

Then, last spring, things started to change.  In the evening now, after I’ve turned out the lights and shut their bedroom door, I hear them.  They chat with each other, read books together, clamber out of bed and take toys off the shelves.  My husband and I exchange looks on the couch in the living room, but neither one of us is willing to go upstairs and interrupt their time together, even though it’s way past their bedtime.  Language learning has been such an uphill battle that hearing them chitchat upstairs is music to my ears.

I hear them ask each other questions.  “Which food is your favorite, this or this?”  I know this is from a Richard Scarry book, and I make a mental note.  Discussions about Richard Scarry, apparently, are in English.  Then, later, “Mira, ¡un avión de American!”  So playing with the toy airplanes is an activity conducted in Spanish.  “Secondo, ¿tienes  un círculo rojo?”  Bingo is played in Spanish, then.  And so on and so forth.

I listen, and I wonder what language will define their relationship.  It is fluid, for sure.  I leave town and hear them chattering away in English in the background while I am on the phone with their father.  When I am around, there is more Spanish when they talk to each other.  I encourage the Spanish, of course, but they live in the U.S. and I realize that at some point their relationship may be an English-only one.  But heck, some days–many days–I’m just happy they’re speaking any language at all.