Comments on: You Are Experts, Too: I have a hard time communicating with my son when others are around

By: Ana Lilian

Ana Lilian — Tue, 10 Aug 2010 19:06:56 +0000

Welcome! We´re happy you found us and thank you for sharing your story. I agree with you that it´s better to be upfront and, eventually, they will all get it once they see what a gift it is.

By: Deldelp

Deldelp — Tue, 10 Aug 2010 18:55:07 +0000

Wow I am so happy to have found this web-site! I spoken to my daughter from birth mostly in Spanish. I made it clear to my in-laws, family and friends from the get go that this was going to be the case. I was not doing it to be rude or alienating. I wanted her to hear my voice in both languages. I even asked if I could teach them some elementary words to make their time with her easier. Afte rall if they babysit and she asks for “Leche” and they don’t understand that is going to cause stress for everyone. The more upfront you are to those who interact with you on a regular basis of what your language values are the easier it is to practice them.

By: Jennifer Walus

Jennifer Walus — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 04:03:13 +0000

I may be late in responding but I too am the only Spanish speaker in my household (using OPOL method) so it’s very important for me to stick with it. When I’m speaking directly to my daughter, it is always in Spanish. I do admit, however, that if we are at the playground and, for example, she is not taking turns, I will say in English, for the benefit of the other child in question and their parent, “I think it’s time to let someone else have a turn,” and then I’ll repeat it in Spanish. Otherwise, it’s Spanish only and I can let folks know that I’m raising my daughter bilingual – for the most part, everyone tells me how wonderful that is and they marvel at how she goes back and forth between English and Spanish, depending on the language she is spoken to. Keep up the good work and glad to hear such a great update!

By: BethO

BethO — Sun, 25 Jul 2010 05:38:59 +0000

Sarah mentioned her mother-in-law. In my case I’m talking about family who live in the same house with us, or whom we see almost every week. I don’t feel obligated to translate, but if it’s only a few words, it’s easy. I only do it if/when I want to. I think it’s helped everyone feel more relaxed and not fear being left out or left behind. As my son gets bigger and more complicated, I can’t do it anymore, but it no longer matters. Everyone in the family knows by now that he really speaks both languages fine.
I don’t care a fig how folks at the park or the grocery store feel about what language I speak.

Sarah I hope you continue to have great success with your mother-in-law!

By: AnaGloria Rodriguez

AnaGloria Rodriguez — Fri, 23 Jul 2010 06:47:53 +0000

You ladies are much nicer than me. I think that adults who must know what you are saying to your child in a language that the adult doesnt’ understand, must be very insecure. What could you be telling your child about them, really?
I think it’s rude of them to think it’s rude of me to speak MY language to MY child.
I have a friend who stopped being friends with that type. Now she is only friends with people who support and encourage her to raise her child bilingually. I really admire her for standing up for her values. Of course, we’re also not living in a small town with limited “resources”.
Sarah, glad things have gotten better.

By: AnaGloria Rodriguez

AnaGloria Rodriguez — Fri, 23 Jul 2010 06:34:55 +0000

I disagree with you that it’s rude to speak, in my case Spanish, when I have English speakers visiting my home. It is my home. I will be a gracious host, but I will only speak Spanish to my chilldren. Must my guests really know that I am telling them to go potty and brush their teeth before bed? I think not.
I entertain A LOT and I have never had a guest complain. In fact, most applaud my efforts in raising bilingual children. Obviously I’m raising my children bilingually, I don’t need to explain anything.

By: BethO

BethO — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 14:49:32 +0000

I find it very natural to say “sientate, sit down”. At age 6 months or at age 2, things we say are not very long or involved. I also find it very easy to turn to the aunt or whoever and say just a few words like “quiere jugo y no tenemos” to explain the tantrum that is going on rather than leave them in the dark.
At the same time, the language I speak to my child is a decision for his father and me, not anybody else’s. If people are in our home they should respect that.

By: Yara

Yara — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 04:12:02 +0000

Ah! I wasn’t finished! Sorry:)
My husband doesn’t speak Spanish and if someone complains about me speaking Spanish to my kids, I tell them: If I speak Spanish to my children in front of MY husband, I don’t see why I’ll need to speak English to them in front of you. OK, I say it in a nice, sweet way. Funny thing happened today. A co-worker came to drop something at my house and I was carrying my 7 months old. I was telling my baby: Mi amor, esta es Jane, trabaja con Mama. My daughter got a little fussy and she did the ” I’m interpreting for the baby” baby talk: Momma, you need to speak English to me!
I was like: What?? But I just ignored her as I know she doesn’t meant harm. If it happens again, then we are going to have a little talk…

Good luck! Teaching our kids a second language is not as easy as I thought, and is more like a marathon than a sprint;)

By: Yara

Yara — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 03:58:52 +0000

Hi! I definitely understand your situation. I believe in your case is even more difficullt because of the nature of living in a small town. I live in Arizona ( home of the SB 1070 *sigh*) and even though people are used to listen to Spanish, you should seen the looks I get sometimes at public places. Like I’m speaking Martian to my 2 year old!!! I personally don’t think that while I’m out at say, the park, having a private conversation with my son, there’s need for others to understand. What I do is that if I see my son interacting with other kid and if for some reason I need to intervene ( he’s not sharing, did something good, the other kid is taking his toys, you know, being kids) I talk to him in Spanish and then repeat it in English.

I always always always talk to him in Spanish. All of our friends know this and if there’s someone that we don’t know well, I explain to them that I only interact in Spanish with my son. I personally don’t feel is rude at all, to me is not an issue of ignoring others. I usually translate to English anyway for their benefit.

By: SarahK

SarahK — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 23:52:03 +0000

Thanks for all the great advice!
I would like to weigh in a bit on what has happened between Henry, Me and our small little town in terms of the Spanish vs. English battle. Lucky for us it is no longer a battle. While there are still many people that still give us that strange look, in which I know they are assuming we are talking about them, it has gotten much easier as people have more or less taken for granted that I speak to Henry in English. I have actually had comments made when I slip into Spanish (usually when I need to say something mid-conversation) they come as “Oh – are you speaking Spanish with him now?” Too funny. I believe that people have just gotten used to it.
As for my mother-in-law. She has never really abandoned the whole “its just too difficult for him” argument. However, I recently had a friend come visit with her 3 year old son. She is married to a friend of my Chilean family. My mother-in-law spent the afternoon with us and the two boys and finally had her eyes opened, as they are choosing to raise their son in an English only environment in the United States. It was this experience, the inability of their son to communicate with her that finally made it clarisimo, why should she have the ability to talk to Henry, and not my parents as well.
So all in all, i would love to still hear advice, as those “eyes” still drive me crazy, pueblo chico infierno grande. But we are breaking ground down here and I find myself translating less and less into Spanish and speaking more and more simple English.
Thanks so much!