Dear Tracy,

It sounds like your 4 year old is going through a very normal phase for that age of showing she can act independently of you. Some call this “defiance,” but I see it as a positive step in self-affirmation. My son did the same thing around age four (actually he wouldn’t speak to anyone in French, including me, so consider yourself lucky!). Every child is different, but what worked in my family and I have seen work in others is to do two things:
1) don’t turn speaking a foreign language into a power struggle. If she doesn’t want to speak to others, don’t force her. It’s better to preserve her positive feelings around French than to make into a battle.
2) let the phase run its course. As with most things kids do, it doesn’t last that long and then they are onto something else.
You also might be surprised and find that in her immersion program – far from you – she is perfectly willing to speak French. But even if she isn’t, just keep speaking French to her, don’t make a fuss over her not speaking it, and just like tantrums and bed-wetting, this too shall pass.

Bonne chance!

Julia Pimsleur

Dear Eva,

It must have made sense to you at the time not to speak Spanish with your boy when he was young. Now your ideas, or maybe your circumstances have changed, and it feels important to do so.

My first question is what does your son think about learning Spanish? At age 11, it’s not too late for him to learn — millions of people do — but it is too late for it to be your decision alone. It has to matter to your son, too, and he should be in on the planning. Does he see the advantages of speaking (or at least understanding) Spanish, as his siblings do? Can you two draw up a set of (realistic) goals for his learning Spanish?

Then, once he has his goals, how will you help him accomplish them?

I don’t know how much time or money you have to devote to his Spanish Project, but in my opinion, it works best not to address those issues until *after* you think of a good plan. Think first of what your son likes. Is he a soccer player? Is he a fan of Latin music? For example, I could picture advertising for a high school or community college student to be a soccer-and-Spanish coach. They could start by drawing up a booklet of phrases he will need in order to participate on a team. Then they could practice using the phrases during one-on-one soccer practice. They can expand his repertory while practicing side-line kicks or goalie saves. They would work up to joining a pick-up game in a Spanish neighborhood. They might also replay videos of televised games, stopping and starting to make sure they understood the moves they saw and the announcer’s description of the action. Your son could work up to where he could replace the sound track for a selection of plays and eventually be the sports announcer.

Or your son and a tutor could spend time learning popular songs, or following the sound track to popular movies in Spanish, starting with Spanish subtitles but gradually turning them off.

It would be ideal if there is also an immersion class for him in a nearly school or a summer language camp, but even so, the one-on-one activities in Spanish on a regular basis helping him follow his interests can help him reach a threshold where he could join a team in a Latin American club or a theater group or art activity that takes place in Spanish and puts him in the company of fluent Spanish speakers.

In my book, I give examples of older children traveling to relatives in a country where the language is spoken (Viviane, #20, and Javier, #35). How long do you think it might take till he would be comfortable traveling to Puerto Rico, Latin America, or Spain?

If these ideas are financially beyond your means, you will need to be more creative in coming up with trades or some version of them that can fit your lifestyle. The key is to picture a series of steps on the way to the goal. You don’t have to figure out the whole journey at once, just one step at a time.

The first step is to have the conversation with your child — and then perhaps with your other children in case they can be allies for him. We can ask other SpanglishBaby parents for their experience and advice.

It’s never too late, but once you establish your first goal, waste no time moving toward it. And then share with us what you come up with.

¡Suerte!

Barbara

~Lucila

Hi Lucila,

I would suggest that you do not worry about your child’s English reading and that you remain faithful, for the time being, to the OPOL method by reading books in Spanish. You say that your husband is the ‘English speaker’ for your child, so he can focus on reading in English and you can focus on reading in Spanish. If your child has a favorite book, you can read it in Spanish (translating as you go if the book is in English) and your husband can read it in English.

The ideal is that your child hears as much Spanish and English as possible as well as being engaged in as many activities in Spanish as in English, so focusing too much on English when reading might give the child the wrong message that reading is an ‘English activity’ or that English is more important than Spanish. Therefore, providing a balance of reading in both languages is best.

Of course, once your child is older and proficient in both languages, then you can start moving a bit away from the OPOL method and perhaps read sometimes in English if you prefer so. The goal right now, since your child is so young, is to be as consistent as possible in your language use to her and provide as much Spanish input as possible (the minority language). Once she can comfortably speak Spanish, I don’t see any harm being done if you read to her in English from time to time.

When she is older you can also introduce literacy in Spanish to her while your husband (and the school system) will introduce English literacy. Do not make the mistake of always speaking Spanish to her while at the same time teaching her to read in English only. Children can perfectly pick up two- even three- reading systems as long as they get practice in each of them and see reading in each language a worthy effort. So keep up your work in Spanish and do not worry about English! English literacy will naturally come as a result of living in the US.

I sure hope the fact that I have used the title Sing, Dance, and Play Teaching Spanish and English Each Day! as one of my training workshops with early childhood professionals for 10 years puts your mind at ease from the start of my suggestions! Your job is already challenging enough, and I trust that advice today will help make the teaching more fun for everyone!

How wonderful is the mind of those little 5 and 6 year olds? Birth – five is the spongiest time of their brains so you are right there with them amiga, helping them absorb languages!

How active are their little bodies? Most of these children you are hoping to keep challenged and keep learning are wanting to move, move, move so many of my suggestions involve activities.

How many of them absolutely LOVE learning with music? Very rarely have I met a kindergartener or first grader who did not enjoy music in their classroom and/or daily routine – it’s a given that music should be part of every young child’s learning process. Plus how many of us adults have learned something to music that to this day we can still sing back (the planets, the colors of the rainbow in order, the states of the United States, and so forth)?!

Find music CDs (I suggest bilingual CDs for this age group to provide a point of reference, comfort level, and continued pride in the child’s native language) that you can use to supplement the concepts already being taught in their main classroom. CDs with colors, numbers, shapes, family members, days of the week, and other early learning concepts can bring the language learning to a level full of fun for the child who loves to learn with movement (focusing in on gross and fine motor skills). Incorporate props from the dollar stores in your community to appeal to the tactile learner, then use the internet or a local learning supply store to weave in the written language of both English and Spanish as the visual learners need to see it to learn it for long term retention. Watch this Days of the Week song via a YouTube video using bright visual learning aids from Lakeshore Learning.

Use games that incorporate Call-And-Response … children this age love to shout back to you what you request of them (think Dora the Explorer’s show where they yell “Abre” or “Backpack”). Joining forums for fellow Spanish teachers of young children would be very helpful, but I know how much time this takes to get into these chat rooms and ‘talk.’ That is why I send you to another YouTube video that uses Ricardo (a brightly colored puppet from Crate and Barrel) and some plastic fruits from a child’s play kitchen center to help children learn fruit names in both Spanish and English. You can use any sock puppet and any concept material you wish to teach (shapes, colors, animals). The children would play this for an entire 30-minute class if you allowed them to!

Many of us will remember the ‘shell game’ where you place items under cups that the children cannot see through, and you have them guess which cup has the shell underneath it after mixing the cups up. Take that same game, add in some Spanish and English, and you have a fun lesson that involves reinforcement of many concepts taught to children ages 3-8! Watch this short sample of the game using colores/colors.

Next up – for all of the fun lessons using music & movement – I highly suggest a follow up book for early literacy skills on both the native and new languages. Clifford the Red Dog (a Scholastic property) has a knack for helping young children love to read in Spanish and English. Look at this book about Opposites/Los opuestos. How about another board book (perfect for those little ones’ hands!) on What Time is it?/¿Qué hora es? by a fellow mom and entreprenuer? I love the line of books this publisher called me+mi offers us teachers and moms to use as we help raise a generation of bilingual toddlers and preschoolers! Often times I will play a song from the Boca Beth line up of bilingual songs to get all of the children’s wigglies out of them before sitting them down to follow along with my books. Works like a charm!

I did not miss the fact that you have many native Spanish speakers. With the use of my suggested bilingual approach you will be assisting them with their English while maintaining their native language with pride. I often ask my advanced bilinguals in Kindergarten and First Grade to be the maestra or maestro with me. They feel a burst of self-confidence when being asked to help an adult with a lesson, and most parents remark that their children are less resistant to speaking their Spanish in public and at home after being the ‘teacher’ in school. Enlisting the assistance of bilingual children to bring traditional Latin American songs, finger plays, and games to life is another way to keep them challenged and engaged in the learning process.

Bottom line is to make your classes full of fun for the younger set – allowing the children to be children through and through! By the way, I use many of the songs and games suggested above during my Great American Teach In days with middle school ESL students ages 11-13 (most of whom speak Spanish as their native language), and they beg for más, more, más! ¡Es la verdad! / It’s the truth!

Thank you,

Frank

Hi Frank,

I hear your frustration… I can assure you that you are anything but a failure – you have only just begun the long journey of raising bilingual kids! So don’t give up…!

If it’s any consolation, I had a similar struggle with my son when he was around 3-4 years-old. His receptive language was very good (i.e., he understood practically everything in Spanish), but his productive language was limited. Not only that, but he actively refused to speak in Spanish, and he resisted reading or watching TV in Spanish. I can tell you that now, at 8 years-old, he is doing MUCH better (you can see for yourself by viewing some of Niko’s videos in Spanish on our YouTube channel).

How did this transformation happen? I wish I could say with certainty. I will tell you that we just kept on speaking to him in Spanish, reading in Spanish (when he wasn’t too resistant), and exposing him to the language on TV and in movies. At some point he started to identify with my husband’s Colombian culture (he told a classmate on the school bus that he was Colombian!), and even using Spanish words here and there. Productive language continues to be a challenge, so two years ago we enrolled him in a heritage language Spanish school on Saturdays (he doesn’t love it, but that’s ok!)

With your children, the key is patience and consistency. It’s best not to show your frustration if your kids resist your efforts. I found it better to use “tricks” like reverse psychology (i.e., “I am so glad I get to read this great book all by myself!”) and pick and choose your battles. You can also access many excellent online games and videos. Here’s a quick list (you can access my entire collection on my Delicious bookmark page or on my website):

• Primera escuela
• Juegos arco iris
• Mi disegni
• Chillola
• Hello-world
• 123 Teach Me
• Learn 4 Good

Your daughter’s accent can be improved with more access to hearing the language. It is not too late for her to develop a native-like accent. I can’t tell from your post, but it seems as if you are the native speaker of Spanish and your wife is a native English speaker. If this is the case, you should speak Spanish to your kids, and your wife can speak in English. According to research, this is the best way to develop a balanced bilingual. If you speak to her mainly in Spanish, you shouldn’t need to hire a tutor.

I hope this helps, Frank. You can do this! Stick with it and you’ll see the results. Buena surety!

Lori

Dear Mayra,

First, congratulations! You have been giving your son a great gift by exposing him to Spanish since he was a baby. But if you stop now, he might lose the Spanish, so please don’t. Children who learn a second language before age six have a much better accent and chance at fluency, plus it’s great for their memory and analytic skills. You should definitely keep speaking Spanish to him at home. He will get plenty of English at his day care; use your time with him to reinforce the Spanish.

It has been proven in studies that learning a second language does not have a negative impact on learning English. In some, but not all cases, children can have a mild delay in their “expressive” English (speaking it) but there is no delay in their “receptive” English (what they understand) and they always catch up in both languages by age 4 or 5.

You might consider one of the proven ways to raise a bilingual child called OPOL – One Parent One Language. If you use this method, you speak only in Spanish to your son, and your husband speaks only in English and so long as you are consistent, your son will master both. Buena suerte and keep up the Spanish, your son will thank you later!

Best,
Julia Pimsleur Levine

Thank you,
Davina

Hi Davina,

How great that you are starting your daughter early with exposure to a variety of languages. I like seeing how many early childhood programs are incorporating multiple languages into the curriculum.

I am also glad to hear that you are driven to improve your Spanish vocabulary.  One of the things we know about language is that language input drives language output.  In other words, if you are using a very limited vocabulary with your daughter in Spanish your daughter will have a limited vocabulary in Spanish.  You want to consider the richness of your language as well as creating a bilingual experience.

One situation I encounter frequently is families who have chosen to use only English in the household despite having quite limited English proficiency.  I argue that a rich language model is more important than a second language.  You mentioned that you have near-native proficiency but also that you feel like you are using the same simple constructions and the same vocabulary over and over.  Those two statements seem far apart.  I don’t say that to discourage you, instead so that you consider the quality of the language input.

Ways to improve your level of Spanish proficiency:

• There are a number of computerized language programs available these days
• Many libraries host conversation programs for people learning English as a second language.  Find someone who speaks Spanish and set up intercambios where you speak English one day and Spanish another day
• Check out Spanish children’s books from your local library
• Write down all of the actions, objects, and descriptors you want to say during your days with your daughter.  Look them up at night and make cards to tape onto objects
• Go volunteer in a young bilingual classroom
• Immerse yourself in the language in a Spanish-speaking country (wouldn’t we all love that!)

The same rules apply to you as to your daughter–input drives output.  The more Spanish you hear and read, the more your vocabulary will grow.

Best of luck to you!

Ellen Kester

Do you have a question for the bilingualism experts? Submit it HERE and get free advice!

I have spent my professional career teaching Spanish to high school-aged students and older. However, now I am working with a few friends’ children; their parents want them to be exposed to Spanish and to become possibly bilingual. I know the latter is nearly impossible since none of the parents speak Spanish and the girls have little exposure to it outside of their time with me. There is a chance for a babysitter to attend to their needs but the majority of the parents are looking for a more academic approach to their learning.

My concern and question is…what do you think the best approach is for me during my one-hour a week with them? They enjoy games but become frustrated when they are losing because of language and they refuse to use Spanish during the competition (they are 5, 6, 7, 8 years old). Their competiveness spirit is not helping them use the language. Songs are not their thing. We have used art to describe and speak but I believe they are getting tired of that as well.

Second, do you think one hour is enough since they are not hearing Spanish outside of my time with them; should I recommend time with bilingual families?

Again, I am at loss and a bit frustrated. Any guidance?

Thank you.

Andrea Romano Vespoint”

Hi Andrea / Hola Andrea,

As most of us realize one hour each week is not enough to help these young ones become bilingual.  I applaud anyone attempting to expose their children to more than just their native language, but the research has shown that once-a-week-exposure will not help you raise a bilingual child.

What are the benefits of once-a-week-exposure?

1. Neural pathway connections are formed for later language learning
2. A genuine curiosity about second languages, other cultures and their people is stirred
3. Exposure to more than one language is helpful to the cognitive development of a child

What can you do with this particular mix of 5-8 year olds to keep the Spanish learning at its optimum experience?

1. Incorporate storytelling with puppets assigning each child a part in the story based on their personality, level of Spanish proficiency, and their interest in this medium
2. Use cooking during your time with them – alternating the week’s lesson with arts & crafts, cooking, games that are not competitive but simply playful, and music.  (I know you mentioned they are not into music but given the right props to use with the songs they could be coaxed to try it.  Using bilingual songs with a catchy beat combined with props from the Dollar Store will make the music relevant, and we all know how much music lends itself to long term retention in learning.)
3. Allow a child to be the “maestro/teacher” for a part of each week’s time together.  Give them the ‘assignment’ the week prior so that they might prepare something ahead of time using their parent’s computer, iPad, Android App or simply a library book to bring to your Spanish fun time the following week.  Kids love being teachers to their peers, and it allows for the learning to grow organically.

What should you suggest to this group of parents to increase the exposure to Spanish as their children’s second language?

1. Encourage attendance of any and all local festivals, library events, and beyond that feature Spanish food, music and language.
2. Suggest they visit their local library for free resources that appeal to their individual child’s learning style using the Spanish language.
3. Inform them of FREE online resources that provide them tools as parents to learn right along with their children (here are two FREE ones:http://www.bocabeth.com/Bilingual_Resource_Area/default.php  and http://www.onlinefreespanish.com/ )

 
With these suggestions, tips and tools I am certain you will feel positive about the gift you are providing this future generation of children.

Happy Educating!  ¡Sea feliz educando!  ~ Boca Beth

Beth Butler.-Bilingual educator of young children and strives to create better communication within our increasingly diverse society. She is the founder of the internationally acclaimed Boca Beth language learning series which has garnered various parenting awards.  Ms. Butler lived in Chile and Mexico where she learned Spanish as her second language and has been bilingual and biliterate for more than 30 years. She has spent over 25 years in the field of preschool and elementary education writing and recording four bilingual music CDs in Spanish and English, as well as producing three bilingual educational movies for children.  Read Beth Butler´s answers here.

Hi, my name is Erin, and my husband and I are raising our almost-2-year-old bilingual, using no real method.  My native language is English, my husband’s is Spanish.  We decided against OPOL because I am a SAHM and I spend the most time with our son (my husband is often gone for weeks at a time for work).  My native language is English, so if we did OPOL, my son would get VERY little exposure to Spanish.  For the most part, we speak Spanish at home, with some English mixed in.  My son understands both, but tends to answer in Spanish, and nearly all of the words he says are Spanish.  I know he will learn English, that’s not even a concern of mine, but my concern is… I am NOT a native Spanish speaker.  I am fluent, but I have an accent, and I do make grammatical errors.  So are we doing more harm than good in that he is with me most of the time, we speak Spanish most of the time, but my Spanish is not native-speaker quality? I’m hoping to put him into a bilingual school, which I’m sure will help with both languages, but for now I’m afraid he’s not going to know either language well

What are your thoughts on our “method” or lack thereof?

Dear Erin,

You say you have no method, but it seems to me that by speaking Spanish along with your husband, you have adopted a perfect method to maximize the amount of Spanish your child hears—and is motivated to speak. From what other people in the U.S. tell me, that’s a very good plan, especially since your husband, the native Spanish speaker, is often away from home.

For the question you ask – Will speaking to my child in a non-native accent do more harm than good — my book, Raising a Bilingual Child, has several sections devoted to the answer. My opinion is that you do *much more good* by giving the child more opportunity and more motivation to use the language that won’t be reinforced by the community (pages 146-148!). The book also provides testimony from at least four non-native parents in the case studies. One very helpful example is a published case about Australian George Saunders, who taught his children German. He has a lot of tips for a person in your position (as does Jane Merrill, also cited in my book).

As long as you are not the ONLY Spanish model the child ever has, he will be very unlikely to pick up your accent, and he will probably end up eventually correcting your errors (which you may find annoying : ). 

So, I wouldn’t worry about your non-native Spanish as long as you’re fluent and comfortable with it.  But I would work to get some native Spanish models in your lives (for both of you), especially when your husband is away.  There are always tapes and videos, and you mention that you want to find a bilingual school for your son, which will be good.  Meanwhile, can you enlist any of your husband’s relatives to come and play with you and your boy in Spanish from time to time?  Are there any college students you could pay for a few hours of language immersion for the two of you?  A play group?  A Spanish church?  You will be surprised, I think, even in very monolingual towns how many speakers of other languages there are, but you sometimes have to go looking for them.

Remember, as a language model for your son, you are not only providing new words and grammar.  By speaking Spanish with him, you are creating an environment where Spanish is welcome all the time.  That gives the child more time to practice and consolidate what he’s learning. And you are demonstrating that Spanish is a language worth learning. This adds to his motivation to learn the language. Those are very big gifts you are giving your child. I would be very proud to be doing what you are doing. I hope you keep it up.

Best wishes,

Barbara

Barbara Zurer Pearson, Ph. D. – A bilingualism expert with over twenty years of research experience in the fields of bilingualism, linguistics, and communication disorders, Pearson is the author of the informative and extremely useful book Raising a Bilingual Child. She is currently a Research Associate at the University of Massachusetts Amherst. Her pioneering work on bilingual learning by infants and children and on language assessment has been published in scholarly journals and in the book Language and Literacy in Bilingual Children. You can see her answers by going here and follow her work through her blog.

Do you have a question for our experts? Remember no question is too big or too simple. So, to send us your question, please click here or leave a comment below. Thank you!