http://spanglishbaby.com/ask-an-expert/ask-an-expert-raising-my-youngest-son-bilingual-is-creating-conflicts-with-his-older-monolingual-siblings/ Raising bilingual and bicultural kids Thu, 26 Jul 2018 07:12:43 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.5.2 http://spanglishbaby.com/ask-an-expert/ask-an-expert-raising-my-youngest-son-bilingual-is-creating-conflicts-with-his-older-monolingual-siblings/#comment-7512 BethO Fri, 04 Jun 2010 21:22:48 +0000 http://www.spanglishbaby.com/?p=8236#comment-7512 Hello Ludwig! Wow, your story really hit me. My daughter, English only, is 18 and my son, bilingual Spanish and English, is turning 2.
My husband and I have been married 4 years. His two small children only spoke Spanish when we got together — they are just learning English at school now. So, our kids could not even speak to each other directly in any meaningful way, for a long time. A certain sense of connection was not there.
My daughter has always been game and tried hard to absorb all the changes we threw at her. Yes, it was often challenging. Honestly, just being a teenager is tough enough, and then, suddenly, how weird must it be to have your parent, of all people!!!, incomprehensible to you a lot of the time.
Not to mention all the inconveniences, from suddenly having two little (loud) kids around, and then, a new baby… the crying at 6 a.m., the toys everywhere, the endless cartoons and Disney music, the parents’ attention being distracted…
She signed up for German in high school!
Listen, you may not believe me right now, but I promise you, through all this, your family is going to be closer than ever. IT IS TOTALLY WORTH IT. The communication and trust you give each other is something everyone in the family will build on.
Currently my daughter is 18 and not only is very supportive of her little brother being fully bilingual, but has learned enough Spanish just through hearing it all around her, that she can understand most of what is going on, and even speak some.
I feel very blessed that my daughter is really a good sport, and I give her all the credit. Believe in your sons, Ludwig, believe in your wife, believe all of you WILL adjust. But of course, you want to do something, to help ease their minds and hopefully smooth things along. You just have to make it clear that, although you won’t stop speaking to the little one in Spanish, you’ll do anything else, whatever it takes to resolve people’s feelings about it. Your wife and each one of your older children can actually tell you exactly what they need, and even help you come up with ideas, if you can convince them you are really ready to listen. (That convincing is the tricky part.)
Our family is a few years down this path now and I believe, very strongly, that love really does conquer all. Be patient, patient, patient. Never give up.

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