Comments on: Can Bilingualism Cause Alienation?

By: Casey

Casey — Fri, 22 Feb 2013 11:11:19 +0000

Susan,
I don’t know about the case of your family, but in mine I have found that it works both ways. Monolinguals do have tendency to show visible discomfort with use speaking Spanish at the park, the grocery store, you name it. We also have begun to insulate ourselves because it is much easier to not have to explain ourselves all of the time or answer the debriefing who are you, what are you, where are you from questions. Saludos!

By: Sol

Sol — Sun, 17 Feb 2013 23:21:48 +0000

My experience is almost identical to yours!!!!The difference is that my husband doesn’t speak Spanish so I speak Spanish or “Spanglish” at home. I say short phrases and repeat them in English. My family feels I’m not teaching them enough, judge me and compare my kids to their cousins who are 100% fluent.
But yeah, most people who only speak English feel intimidated and often offended by the use of any other language. I feel sorry for them when they show their disconfort by saying “are you talking about me?” because if we think about it, they feel in a tremendous disadvantage in a globalized world where ONLY ENGLISH is not the norm and biliguals are taking the lead (An average European person is fluent in at least 2 languages other than his own). My kids have been made fun of and mocked by other kids when they realize my kids speak something other than English but I solved the problem by making bullies understand than ACCENTS OR SPEAKING IN TONGES (like some like to call it) it’s exclusive to intelligent people who ARE NOT limited to the knowledge of just one language. My kids now are more comfortable and very proud with the idea of being bilingual. They now now how much easier is for them to understand words and phrases in ITALIAN & PORTUGUESE and are open to learning Cantonese and Arabic.

By: Anne Caddick Basso

Anne Caddick Basso — Fri, 15 Feb 2013 18:20:47 +0000

My husband is a native Spanish speaker, having grown up in East L.A. being raised by Spanish speaking grandparents. Me? I grew up in Orange County, the daughter of Music Teachers. Thus, I didn’t learn Spanish, but my accent is strangely good.

Together we have seven children, and not a one of them speaks Spanish. His daughter from a previous marriage who grew up with Spanish in her home (her mother is from Chile) is fluent. It is a great sadness to me that my children don’t speak the language, and I have begun to study it in earnest in the hopes of becoming more fluent and encouraging them to become so as well.

I find language intimidating. I’m always afraid to speak with someone other than my husband in Spanish for fear that I will sound stupid when I make a mistake. I think maybe hearing a foreign language spoken so well by a neighbor from whom it was not expected, may make some people feel both left out and inadequate. Hopefully communication and explanation of why you do so, will help.

Loved the post!

By: Anne

Anne — Fri, 15 Feb 2013 05:22:28 +0000

I might suggest that rather than presuming it’s because you speak more than one language that you reach out to your neighbors and find out how you can connect with them. To say, “The more I think about the situation in our new neighborhood, I am starting to wonder if people who only speak English are uncomfortable around other languages. Perhaps already being bilingual makes us less fearful or suspicious of ones that we do not know.” might suggest that you have skipped the step of knowing how they really feel.

By: Gal

Gal — Fri, 15 Feb 2013 05:02:56 +0000

Hey Susan, my long-lost friend. I speak to my kid in Hebrew, but not exclusively. He is 19 months old, and he totally understands everything I say. It is actually quite amazing. He goes to daycare 3 times a week for half a day, and it is a Spanish-immersion daycare, so he only hears Spanish there. And is nanny speaks English to him. I often wonder if he will every really know Hebrew the way I do. I take comfort of the fact that studies show that exposure to different languages at an early age makes them smarter I do think Hebrew is particularly challenging because first, there are very few people around who speak it and it is not that there is a bi-lingual library storytime in Hebrew… so it is hard to get Eitan exposed to it more, and second, because it is written in non-English letters, so reading it would be extremely hard. Anyhow, thanks for introducing me to this website. Cheers. Gal

By: Bethany Sparks

Bethany Sparks — Fri, 15 Feb 2013 03:08:59 +0000

For me it would be an intimidation factor – that “you” think you are better than me. I have tried to speak French and Spanish with J, even when he was pre talking and he HATED it. Even now he does. Granted, I did not start off with only French. I have coworkers who use only Spanish with their kids and I feel judged that I don’t. I doubt it’s the language with your neighbors but that they may feel judged because they don’t… just a thought….

By: SpanglishBaby: Can bilingualism cause alienation?

SpanglishBaby: Can bilingualism cause alienation? — Thu, 14 Feb 2013 14:21:18 +0000

[...] To read the rest of the post go to SpanglishBaby.com [...]

By: Susan

Susan — Tue, 12 Feb 2013 13:09:48 +0000

Melissa–

Thank you so much for your kind words and encouragement.

By: Melissa

Melissa — Tue, 12 Feb 2013 06:08:01 +0000

I really do hope that neighbors warm up to the idea and become more accustomed to your lifestyle. Sometimes, kids are a bit awkward about me not speaking English and they’ll tell me so. I often explain directly to the children that I speak only in Spanish, but my kids can talk to them easily and to feel free to ask my children what I am saying. I also add that I will still talk to them in English. In almost all cases the parents and I have previously had an engaging discussion where they appreciate already or I explain the “method to my madness” and they usually are understanding. I must admit, I usually hit it off with those who comment somewhere along the line, “I would love to do that!” or “I wish I knew/kept up my Spanish” or also have similar goals with their children. I have often shared the same thoughts about alienating my own children and questions about how parents handle a mixed crowd of children. On a couple of occasions I have had to substitute teach my childrens’ classes in English and it is weird, but then I remind them once the class is over that we speak in Spanish. Susan, from all your wonderful posts, once your neighbors get to know you and hear of your wonderful adventures, they’ll count themselves blessed to know you!