Comments on: The “Mommy Wars” Go Bilingual

By: Xochitl Oseguera

Xochitl Oseguera — Thu, 07 Jun 2012 00:16:41 +0000

Ay caray! Chelsea you gave me so much food for thought! I also find it difficult (ok, honestly impossible) to understand when parents who speak other languages decide to speak English only to their children, en serio? NO! why? I ask! I always bring out how wonderful it is for kids because of x y z… I feel they are miss informed and I have to wear the super-informed-bilingual-mommy hat. But next time, I will not judge ( got tolerance?) however, I think I will keep bringing out the facts and maybe someone could change his/her mind… I will probably be more humble. Gracias Chelsea!

By: Ana Flores

Ana Flores — Wed, 06 Jun 2012 19:02:17 +0000

And that´s precisely why I am always in such awe of parents like you!!!

By: Chelsea Kyle

Chelsea Kyle — Wed, 06 Jun 2012 12:38:47 +0000

Interesting points, especially about the unique Dutch-speaker experience.

I see this as such a First World problem (the tendency to brag about multilingual kids). In some parts of the world, learning more than one language is a sheer necessity. We should all feel grateful for the level of control we have over our children’s exposure to various cultures and tongues.

By: Chelsea Kyle

Chelsea Kyle — Wed, 06 Jun 2012 12:33:49 +0000

Thank you, Suzanne. Interesting anecdote about trying to form a Spanish playgroup. It can feel like an uphill battle, and like we are alone in our choice. That’s why it’s so amazing to read the ongoing statistics about the growth of the Hispanic population at the same time that we sometimes struggle to find like-minded parents. (http://pewresearch.org/pubs/1940/hispanic-united-states-population-growth-2010-census)
It shouldn’t feel like a war at all if we are surrounded by Spanish speakers, but it does make sense that there will be some confusion about and backlash against the fastest-growing demographic by those who aren’t so comfortable with the language and culture.

By: Chelsea Kyle

Chelsea Kyle — Wed, 06 Jun 2012 12:25:05 +0000

I don’t think you should worry, Ana. I’m sure most people admire what you’re doing. However, it is easy to forget just how difficult imparting a second language can be for those who may not have all the same resources you do. Even for me, surrounded by Spanish, I sometimes feel inadequately prepared because I don’t have family in a Spanish-speaking country or a history of cultural traditions to support my decision.

By: Ana Flores

Ana Flores — Wed, 06 Jun 2012 06:28:20 +0000

What an interesting take on the mommy wars. I honestly never thought that anyone would think my obsession…err..decision to raise my daughter bilingually would be an offense to them.
It’s something so, so, so personal and I am always careful that I put myself in the other’s shoes before I judge.
Of course, I admit it’s hard for me to understand why someone would just NOT want their child to learn a second language, so that’s when I’ll start blurting out all the research, the benefits, etc, etc… I might by *slightly* annoying, but I hope not enough to engage in a mommy war!! I hope…

By: MB

MB — Tue, 05 Jun 2012 17:13:57 +0000

*chuckle* I read this entry and then saw the ad for the ‘bilingual is better’ book

but yes, in our family we try very very very hard to see language as a tool rather than an end result .. we speak dutch at home because, well, that’s our home language; we make sure our kids learn english because here in the US, it really is is the language of privilege, we send our kid to our spanish immersion school because it’s a terrific school

still, it’s easy to make social shortcuts and act all proud of raising kids with three languages (while knowing that it’s very hard/near impossible for most kids to be truly trilingual) and as a result make others feel ‘lesser’ … i try to explain that learning spanish in our particular situation is a consequence of school choice … and literally one of the ** best** unintended consequences in my life

still, i very much applaud the ideas behind “we have to respect the choices of some parents NOT to raise their children in more than one language” …

for those of us that come from an inherently multilingual background, this ‘respect’ takes a lot of effort … and coming from a Dutch speaking background (30 million or so people speak dutch worldwide and *most* of those 30 million speak English) i find it especially hard to understand why anybody would de-emphasize spanish! 400 plus million speakers worldwide!!!

ps, thanks very much for the blog! i stumbled across it a couple of weeks ago via spanishplayground

and then explain it was the best accident ever

still,

By: suzanne mateus

suzanne mateus — Tue, 05 Jun 2012 12:12:28 +0000

excuse all the typos—its early here in Texas and I haven’t had my cafesito yet!

By: suzanne mateus

suzanne mateus — Tue, 05 Jun 2012 12:11:04 +0000

Great post, Chelsea! I completely agree about the mommy wars and how unproductive and divisive they can be. I can also see how they come to be though. Especially, when we (as mothers) have made decisions to raise our befit@s a certain way. Not tool long ago I wrote on FB that I wanted to form a play group with parents speak to their child strictly in Spanish. I got some, but very little response, partially because not many parents (at least the ones I know) are doing this. One of my friends asked if this was the reason why we hadn’t gotten together—ouch!

I think what I have ultimately decided to do is continue to raise her in Spanish (inside and outside the home) and the rest is out of my control.