When my mother invites us for a dinner at 6:00, we’d better be there by 5:30. When someone in my husband’s family invites us for a special dinner, they don’t even mention a time, and I know better than to ask, because it won’t mean anything anyway. The Pozole will just stay on the stove until everyone is there.

That’s just an example. I often wonder how my son will navigate through the different expectations and assumptions that people in both sides of his family will have for him. I just hope it has the effect on him that it has had on me. I’ve learned to have patience I never had before.

It’s sad but I think people choose to turn their backs on what is really an opportunity for themselves.

However, maybe this is the time that we, English-only speaking Latinos, start to stand up. Look at all of the other immigrants that have come here. Do their grandchildren speak Italian, German, etc.? My Dutch-American friend knows a few terms of endearment, but does she miss not knowing her grandparents’ native tongue? I don’t know. I should ask her.

Again, thanks for the thought-provoking post.

However, I can see how someone might also become a parent & have to face their own personal issues with identity . I can’t look at the author’s decision as a parent & call it wrong or right or leaning more towards good or less towards good because it’s a reality of what the current & next generation of Latino parents will be facing and the product of their choices is what has given & will give us the unique culture of people “living on the hyphen”.

Language is just one way to identify. I know plenty of folks who don’t speak a word of Spanish but feel their culture very deeply in their blood. And those that speak Spanish fluently but let is slide & don’t care to use it much. Some parents make the best efforts & their kids make the choice as adults to go the other way.

I’m loving ur blog ladies!

Carla (Mama Hearts Baby)’s last blog post..I2I: Tailored Tadpole

I told her that although I was born in Puerto Rico, I grew up in FL most of my life. I grew up hearing & speaking Spanish at home, eating our food, listening to our music, and having to abide by our culture’s values. Language is not the only way to assimilate.

I agree with you. I think it’s more of an identity factor than the rest. I tend to feel it’s a disservice if you DON’T teach them about your rich heritage.

Melanie (Modern Mami)’s last blog post..Can this Modern Mami go to BlogHer?

I moved here when I was 10 years old and did experience discrimination and ugly words because of my “otherness.” For years, I stopped speaking Spanish and wanted to have nothing to do with the part of myself that I (at the time) saw as having brought on these painful experiences. BUT that was a phase and one I grew out of when I got a sense of the wider world outside of the kids who were teasing/bullying me and of the hyphen aspect of America, of how other cultures and peoples influence America and not just the other way around. And once I did, I felt such a sense of relief and wholeness. Even if I still find myself in English-only, American-only situations, I’m at ease because I feel like I am American, too, and my energy is not consumed in trying to obscure or deny part of myself.

My take on this as a parent is: yes, my kids will experience some negativity from some members of society because they’re Hispanic…and if they’re going to have that, I want them to have the good, too. And much more of the good to get them through the bad. It’s most important for me to keep them immersed in the positive, pride-infusing aspects of Latin culture, and language is key in this. I want them to be able to have access to that identity aside from me- to be able to read/speak/write; to connect- but thanks to my efforts & example.

If they want to choose to wear different hats around different people, to “code switch” they can, but I want to give them that choice, and I hope they’ll feel that, at their core, they can comfortably identify as both Hispanic AND American.